SUSPICIOUS LOVE BY CHERYL V.

SUSPICIOUS LOVE

CHAPTER I

Mike hopped out of his black Rolls Royce, holding a black suitcase under his right arm, one night when there happened to be a full moon in the hazy dark skies. He was making his way over to the apartment building from the parking lot. He couldn’t believe how tired, he was feeling, that night, and how those long office hours over at his office, made him, feel so weary.

It was so quiet around the area, outside, that all one could hear, that night, was the sounds of the crickets, mating. They all were making their way through the green grass, which seemed to catch all the light from the full moon, shining on the grass in the area right in front of him. The first floor of the apartment complex was well lit. So, he could, easily, see where he was going as he headed over to the apartment building.

What happened to be going through his mind as he walked into the apartment building was when all these long office hours, ever going to let up.

He thought, “I jus can’t seem to understand, how much longer, I’m going to be able to put up with what has seemed like endless days and nights on my job as a FBI agent. It’s not that I don’t like my job. Its one job, I’ve had for countless years, which I can say, I have, really, enjoyed doing. Every day and night, I seemed to be absorbed, most of the time, on some interesting case.”

Most of these cases, which he has worked on, either, seem to be solved in a week’s time or seem to go on for endless weeks. The case, which he has been working on, lately, has lasted for at least two weeks, already. Being this case has been involving around some kidnapping, which has occurred right in this apartment complex, it’s a wonder that he hasn’t ended up becoming a victim, himself, of some kidnapping.

Jus as he happened to be walking down the hall and over to the elevators, he couldn’t help hearing some noisy neighbors at the other end of the hall. Whenever he came back home, it, always, seemed to be dark, already. So, one would think, that by that time, most of the neighbors would be in bed by that hour of night. But there were some late nighters, who seemed to, mostly, be awake until the early morning hours, and here, already, it was eleven o’clock at night.

But it was a real relief for him, for him to, finally, gets onto an elevator to take him to the second floor of the apartment building. At least, jus in being inside an elevator seemed to drown out all the noise, which seemed to be going on inside the building.

But he seemed to, sometimes; get the surprise of his life, upon reaching the second floor, and stepping out into the hall. Not very often, would he happen to run into his next door neighbor, if he was lucky, not more than jus a few times, a month.

This time, his neighbor, Melody, happened to be walking down the hall with a date of hers. And being she seemed to be a little shy, whenever she bumped into him in the hall, half the time, she would be a little hesitant about striking up a conversation with him. However, tonight turned out to be an exceptional night for him, jus because she was eager to introduce her date to him.

Melody and her date, Doug, didn’t know Mike very well, jus because he jus seemed to be a scarce neighbor around the apartment building. This happened to be true, jus because his job required him, to, sometimes, be gone out on long searches for crime victims, or jus requiring a lot of researching through his computer over at his office. And all this researching, to him, had to do with hunting down over the computer, different clues. Sometimes, he would end up getting leads to different cases, which he would end up, spending a lot of time looking for.

Jus trying to spark up some conversation with Mike, jus because she wanted to show off her date to him, with a curious look on her face, she said to him, “Oh, hello, I’d like you to meet my date, here, Doug, and Doug; this is my next door neighbor, Mike Cassidy. To me, though, you would think, we should be seeing more of each other. However, jus because he lives next door to me, things never seem to turn out that way.”

Jus in being a bit curious, himself, as they all were reaching the other end of the hall, where both Melody and Mike have been living next door to each other, trying to break the silence, again, Doug, then, said to Mike, jus before Mike entered his apartment.

“Well, although, Melody and I have been dating each other for about a week or so, this seems to be only about the second time, we’ve bumped into you. What seems to bring you, home, all the time, at the late hours of night? Do you happen to have some job, which requires a lot of hours at the office or some other place?”

“In fact, I do happen to have the type of job, which requires a lot of time at the computer over at my office, which is located, only, about ten minutes away from here. It jus happens that I’m a special agent, and I work for the FBI, may I say, the Federal Bureau of Investigation. As you, probably, have noticed by now, is that I, always, carry a gun by my side along with special identification and of course, a badge that proves I work for the FBI.”

Then, Melody was about to see her friend, Doug, off back home, again. But she waited until Mike walked into his apartment, and has closed the door behind him. When she happened to notice, that he was, finally, inside his apartment, she was not aware Mike was trying to eavesdrop in on her and him. However, she sensed he was doing this to her and Doug. So, jus in not trying to get Mike’s attention, and hoping he was sensing her’s and Doug’s conversation, she, then, said to Doug in a curious voice.

“To me, Mike’s considered to be what I refer to as the dangerous type of guy. To him, he thinks he’s the wild and sexy type, which a woman like me would even ever care two hoots about.”

“What you’re trying to say, is that he’s the type, who a woman like you, wouldn’t even think of going out with, is that correct?”

“Yes, that’s, exactly, how I, always, have felt about him, from the very first day, he happened to move into the apartment next door to me.”

“Okay, by the expression on your face, you’re about to let me in on a big secret of yours.”

“Since, I should have never kept any secrets from you, I promise you, as of now, that I’ll never pull this stunt on you, ever again. So, you don’t have to worry about Mike, stealing me away from you, because I’ve never allowed myself to get interested in him. What I’m getting at is that you, Doug, are the guy, who I have been having an interest in, and have been, ever since, that day, when we, first, met over at the high school in town.”

Being it, already, was quite late at night, Melody figured, she should, casually, see her date off for the night. She knew darn well, that by this time, Mike has better things to do, than to keep eavesdropping in on her and Doug. Jus before Doug took off on his way back home, she said to him in a casual way jus before he was ready to take off for the night.

“Now, that Mike has, probably, settled down for the night, and has gone to bed, let’s call it, a night, because I, really, enjoyed going to the movies with you, tonight. I’m jus glad you’re not the dangerous type of guy, because I prefer you as real sexy-looking, jus the way, you are.”

Mike was in the middle of getting himself, something to snack on before getting bed being it, already, was late at night. And from all those hours, which he has put in during the day all through the night, he, certainly, was ready to cash in for the night.

Jus before he had opened his apartment door, however, she, really, hadn’t been paying any attention to him at that time. He had entered his apartment, so quickly, he, really, had given Melody, that suspicious look. He didn’t even care if she had even been around, jus because he didn’t care two hoots, she has been dating. For one thing, even if she was the last girl on earth, he, still, wouldn’t have said goodnight to her, anyways.

Jus because the walls of the apartments were not well made, she was very sure, Mike couldn’t help be listening in to what her and Doug were saying to each other. So, she said to Doug, to ward Mike off of her, “Doug, goodnight, but when will I be seeing you, again?”

“How about next weekend, will that be okay with you? I have to work on my job as a school teacher through Friday, because not only do they need me over at the school for my regular job. But, also, besides Monday through Wednesday, also Thursday and Friday, over at the school, they need me, too, because one of the teachers for the English class for elementary school has gone home, sick. So, will Friday night be okay with you, or do you prefer Saturday or Sunday, instead?”

“I think the whole weekend will work out fine for me, unless you have some other plans on part of the weekend.”

“You act, as though, you are attached to me or something. Do you need to see me that badly, or will Friday and Saturday, then, work out alright for you?”

“Okay, it’s not, as though, I’m going steady with you, yet. However, the nights, you jus mentioned will work out fine for me. And I’ll allow you to pick out what’s on your mind for those nights.”

“Well, I was thinking of going out on a dinner date for Friday. And then, on Saturday, we can make an all day and all nighters for that one. So, I’ll take you to a Tigers’ game, and then, out to dinner after the game, that afternoon. So, I’ll see you at about twelve thirty, this coming weekend, jus in case, we decided to get a bit to eat before the game starts. Bye for now, see you, my girl.”

“Goodnight and see you at school, tomorrow morning or afternoon or whenever we happen to bump into each other, probably, at lunchtime, if the day is extra busy.”

So, then, she walked into her apartment, and closed the door behind her, as he headed towards the stairs, being that he loved the extra exercise, because he was an exercise fanatic, himself.

Mike had been trying to eavesdrop on him and Melody, while he was reading the newspaper before going to bed. He thought that Doug was a real wacko of a guy, because he, himself, really, seemed to like Melody. And for that matter, Mike, really, didn’t like that guy being around Melody, jus for the fact that every time, he seemed to bump into Melody, that guy seemed to be with her.

Though, he didn’t know Melody, that well. He found that every time, he and Melody seemed to come across each other whether it is in the hall or near her door, there was something about her, which, always, seemed to make his heart skip a beat.

When the two, Mike and Melody would happen to discover each other in the hallway, to her, he, always, seemed to catch his sight, and being he was the dangerous type, which alone, seemed to bring her to attention like if she was in the army or Navy.

It seemed to her, that she and Mike never failed to get into some conversation, whenever they bumped into each other whether it is in the hall or right by their apartment doors. So, whatever words, she spoke to him, always, seemed to be quite brief most of the time. But the conversation, always, seemed to be centered on her. So, each time, she, always, seemed to thwart him off, so, she wouldn’t become the center of attention.

Ever since, the first day, Mike had moved into the apartment next door, she, always, vowed to herself, she wouldn’t even have anything to do with him. And she kept reminding him; she never wanted to get herself, mixed up with another guy, again, after what she has gone through with past guys, jus because she’s never seemed to be able to keep a boyfriend for along.

Jus like the guy, Doug, she’s been dating for about a few weeks, although, she, always, seemed to bump into him during the lunch hour over at the high school, she has to keep promising herself, she won’t allow herself to get mixed up with another guy or even close to another one, as long as she lived.

It has happened without a doubt, that every time, in the past, she thought, she had a guy in her life to stay and go steady with in her past 20 years of life, it didn’t end up that way. More than once, she has had to break off with a guy, jus because something went wrong between them, like none of these guys ever seemed to be compatible with her. Or else, she never has seemed to be able to get herself into a relationship with any of her former would be boyfriends, who, really, haven’t ever become more than friends to her.

So, it seemed no matter how any guy ever made her, feel excited inside, jus like the guy next door, she, simply, didn’t ever feel that the dangerous, sexy type was ever made for her. More than once, she has vowed herself right in front of Mike, never to give into another guy’s vibes, ever again. However, she knew darn well, that there, certainly, was something about Mike, which couldn’t be explained, which, always, seemed to give her, the heart flutters, every time, she happened to see him.

That, certainly, was one of the reasons, why she couldn’t ever get herself, from the first day, he moved in next door, to stop burying all of her feelings inside her, making herself, appear very shy to him all the time. And for this very reason, she has managed to stop herself, from getting to know him better, and giving into the liking, she has had for him for awhile.

Another thing was that what drove her crazy about him, anyways, were all these dreams, which she has had about being in bed with Mike. She was afraid of finding out in real life, what these dreams could do for her. So, she won’t allow herself, to give into the dangerous, sexy type of guy, which he, really, has, always, seemed to her.

Lately, she has been thinking of him, as being a real wipeout when it comes to being in bed with him in her dreams. But because she doesn’t believe in herself, she won’t allow any of these dreams about him, to have any chance, whatsoever, to become reality.

She jus can’t ever allow herself, becoming head over heels over him, jus because she never thought that her dreams about going to bed with any guy, could, actually, become reality if she ever allow them to do so.

So what she has been doing is putting her down. That’s why she hasn’t gotten very far with this Doug, who she has been dating for a month, now. She can consider herself as not, really, being in a relationship with him. Thought, he has been trying to get into one with her. One can say she never has given him, enough room to even start one with her. The two never have done anything more than casual dating with each other. Never has gotten any room from her, to become something more than jus casual dating.

Being she knew that Mike was a FBI agent, she didn’t ever seem to dig going out on any dates with a man like him, who she, always, referred to as the dangerous type. She had developed this opinion about him, jus because she didn’t want to be around any guy, who, always, carried a gun on him. What she didn’t know about him, she figured, wasn’t going to hurt her in any way, because she didn’t have any good reason to fear going out with his type.

It jus so happened that she’s had many dates in the 20 years of her life of the dangerous type. Her dates in her past, which turned out to be either detectives or special agents, always, seemed to like to make her, feel uncomfortable around them. She figured she has a good reason to stay away from those kinds of guys, jus because she, surely, didn’t want any of that type, spying on her.

In fact, she never was able to figure out why she, always, seemed to be attractive to dangerous type of guy in her life. From the very first time, she happened to get herself, mixed up with the dangerous type; she never has been able to think of herself as being compatible with any of them. when she has dated this type, it, always, seemed to end up, that the guy ended up making her feel as if he was following her around, thinking like she was some suspect in a case.

The main reason, she, always, felt this way towards theses guys, who never seemed to end up becoming any boyfriend of hers for very long, she figured, always, had to end up being her fault for hanging out in all these clubs in the city. This came to be because to her, it seemed like policeman or special agents jus loved to have a lot of thrills in their lives.

And for these guys, these clubs, somehow, seemed to give them all a break from the boring lifestyle, which each one led in life. And their lifestyles seemed to her, to be full of long days and nights over at the office or a police station, jus in being slaves to a computer, trying to track down some criminal.

And she can, clearly, remember that it has happened more than once, that she has become a suspect in a certain case from time to time, jus through an agent or policeman boyfriend. During these times, which such a mistake has occurred in her life, more than once, an agent or policeman has gotten her mixed up with the real suspect on a case. And the times, when this has happened to her, more than once, she has been arrested. And all these times, she never has been involved in a certain case.

So, all of these times seemed too numerous to count, through her, having spent countless hours behind bars. and then, in the long run, she ended up having been proved innocent in the end, has, really, made these last 20 years of her life, turn out to be very hectic some of the time. And a few of these times, she has been released out on bail, or jus having had to do some time of community work on probation, which she never has gotten any fun out of having to end up doing.

So, for these very reasons, she has, finally, made a promise to herself. That she will do all in her power from now on, to stay away from any guy, she happened to meet over at a club, who she finds out, is an agent, detective, or even a policeman.

Any of these types of guys, who happened to be any boyfriend of her in her past, made her go through a very shaky relationship as a girlfriend. And because she has found herself, prone to meeting any of these dangerous types of guys, this is not going to make her, stay away from any of these clubs in the area of Asheville. It’s jus that any guy, who she happens to meet in life, who even in the least, seems to act very suspicious towards in any way. She has vowed to herself that she won’t ever allow herself to get mixed up with any of them.

In fact, the lifestyle, she has been leading, ever since, the last dangerous type, she has met including the guy, Mike, the FBI agent, who lives next door to her, has turned out to be a more independent one. And to her, in being independent means, that she, mostly, has been making meeting any guys over at the club, and going out on a date with any of them, the last thing in life, which she’ll ever do.

Another thing is that she never plans to make any type of commitment to a guy; ever again, no matter what type he happens to be, because she, certainly, didn’t want to end up in a bad relationship, as long as she lives.

But, though, she, really, has never gotten to know Mike, and he’s a complete stranger to her, the only thing, she’ll allow him to do is to have an occasional visit with her over at her apartment, like she has, lately, started doing. One thing, she doesn’t realize about this guy, yet, is the fact, that she, possibly, could be having an attraction to him. And if she ever figures this out, she jus may have the surprise of her life.

What she has been seeing in Mike for the last month or so, is that although she, still, labels him as the dangerous type, to her, he has seemed, lately, to be more than dangerous to her. In fact, every time, she has run into this guy, especially, lately, she can’t seem to figure out, what it has been about him, maybe the way, he acts towards or talks, that has seemed to be sending these chills through her.

Another thing, she has found out about this guy, is that he jus doesn’t seem to act casual when around her. He, always, at least, lately, has been, actually, trying to follow her. So, she has been wondering if he might be falling for her after all this time, he’s been living next door to her.

Another thing about him is that he has seemed to be irresistible to her. And she knows this, but has been trying to avoid any feelings, which he has been stirring up in her. She has been doing this jus because there’s been something about him, which she can’t seem to understand about her. Lately, he has been seeming to come on to her, and for the last year, she has vowed to herself, that she’ll never, again, allow any guy, she meets in life to get close to her. This includes this school teacher; she has been dating for the past week or so, who seemed to have a liking for her.

One afternoon, that school teacher, who she has seemed to be having a crush on, jus happened to walk up to her, while she was taking a break for lunch. As usual, he sat down across from her inside the cafeteria. And at this time, it seemed to be, unusually, quiet in the cafeteria, because, usually, when they happened to bump into each other inside the cafeteria, there happens to be a noisy crowd of students around. There jus weren’t that may students hanging out in the cafeteria, lately

In fact, at this particular time in the afternoon, that one school teacher friend of hers seemed to be a little irresistible to her. Being she wasn’t used to having this feeling when around the school teacher, she was afraid; she would lose her independence, if she kept meeting him for lunch.

However, she found herself, giving into him, like being extra talkative, and giving him, these sly smiles when around him. So, she, surely, didn’t know what to do, if she should accept this feeling from him. Or jus get up from the table and go eat somewhere else inside the cafeteria. And another thing was that Mike, who has been living next door to her, has been coming onto her, each and every time; he decides to drop over to visit with her.

Since, she, surely, didn’t want any of these two guys, getting mixed up with her in her life. She, very casually, after having visited with the school teacher in the cafeteria awhile, she, politely, said to him, “How about if we pass on that date, we had planned for this weekend? I have some things, like a lot of papers, to catch on.” So, she used this as an excuse to dodge him.

However, he seemed to take this, differently, from her, like she, really, has been putting off doing her lessons and correcting papers for her English and Math classes.

So, then, he said to her in a curious way, “It’s not like you to pass up a date from me, because we have been dating, almost, a month, now, and not once, have you done this to me. What’s the matter, Melody? Is your teaching getting to you? or do you, really, have a lot of extra work for tests to do?”

“I guess it’s jus that I have been extra protective with my life. I don’t, really, know what it is, but life has been getting to me, lately. I think that it may be the guy next door to me in that apartment. There’s been something about him, which, really, has been making me, feel as though I’m ready to go crazy. Or maybe, I’ve jus been trying too hard as far as my teaching career goes. Don’t worry about me, now, I’m sure that I jus need some extra rest to catch up on. I’ll see you, Monday, then, over at the high school, here. By next week, I should be myself, again. So, see you, then, my buddy.”

“Okay, if that is what you want, I don’t want to force you to go out with me on dates. However, you’ve got to be aware, that I have been having this crush on you. But I, really, don’t know when this crush on you, started. So, please think about going out with me, again. And if you don’t want to go out ever again with me, that’s your decision. So, goodbye, my sweetheart.”

So, that, that very evening, it jus so happened, that she was feeling extra tired more than usual and wanted to jus go to sleep a little earlier than usual, because after all, she was a little mad with herself, for passing up that date with the school teacher.

However, there was a full moon out that night. And she jus happened to have the urge to stare out one of the windows of her apartment, jus to catch the beauty of the moon. However, as she pushed one of the blinds on the windows, open, she thought, she saw a shadow of someone, going by her window.

Since, she was very curious, she took a better look outside, and she jus happened to see Mike, walking across the lawn to the apartment building. And she couldn’t figure out why he passed by right in front of her window.

So, then, in being a little curious as to what was going on, she wasn’t going to go outside and act like she was following him. Instead, she jus walked outside her door like she was waiting for a date, and waited there, until he came up to his apartment door.

In fact, a few minutes later, she jus happened to notice Mike, coming down the hall, as usual, carrying a gun. And this time, she was surprised to catch him in the apartment building before eleven o’clock at night.

As he approached his apartment, he has a surprised look on his face, a very daring one, as he ended up at his apartment door. At first, he was acting like he wasn’t even aware of her, standing right outside her door, because she happened to be looking the other way, acting as if she was waiting for some other guy or friend. However, he jus stood, there, by his apartment door, waiting to see how she was going to react to him, standing, there, by his door.

However, the cat had her tongue at this time. And she seemed to be choked up on words for now, being that she didn’t expect him to jus stand, there, by his apartment door, waiting to see what she was going to do. So, being she was buried in her world of silence, he, finally, said something to her jus being curious.

“Are you, waiting for a date or something, because you haven’t moved from that spot near your door for the last ten minutes or so?”

“No, not really, the school teacher happened to admit today, that he has a crush on me. However, I, actually, found myself, refusing to go out on a date with him, this weekend. I don’t what’s going on with me, lately, but it seems like everything is going wrong in my life. It‘s not like me to refuse a date from him like I did, tonight. And I, really, am finding myself, having taking a liking to this guy. I jus hope that I haven’t ruined my weekend by refusing a date from him.”

“I’m sure you must have had your reasons, for turning down your date for this weekend. How long have you two been going out? It’s jus that I’m a bit curious about the situation, because you never have seemed much of the boyfriend type, anyways.”

“I guess I jus wasn’t thinking right at the time, we were together in the cafeteria eating lunch over at the high school. I jus hope that I didn’t turn the guy off, in refusing a date from him. In fact, although, he didn’t show it in his face, he, probably, was a little tipped off with me at that time.”

“If I was you, I wouldn’t worry about that guy, because to me, he has seemed to be a bit turned off from you from the very first time, I happened to see the two of you, standing jus outside your door. If he, really, likes you, I’m sure he’ll change his mind, and then, wait for you to make the next move.”

“I was wondering, since, I, really, have nothing planned for tonight, would you like to stop over for a late dinner? I know that this is a late notice on dinner. However, you, usually, don’t seem to arrive back home until real late at night. How come you decided to come home earlier tonight? Did you happen to have a certain case, that you couldn’t find a lead on, or jus happened to get around to solving one of your cases sooner than usual?”

“I don’t understand why you, suddenly, seem to be so interested in me, because from the very first day, I met you; you never seemed to care a hoot about me in any way, jus because you were dating other guys.”

“Let’s not get into all of this, because if I seem to be interested in you, all of a sudden, it must because I’ve had a bad day, today.”

“Aren’t you, going to invite me inside your apartment? Because after all, I, really, loved your cooking that last time, I came over for a visit. I would, really, enjoy another dinner of yours, especially, made to your perfection.”

“Okay, since, I’m, really, not up to working on my lessons for next week, tonight, come on over whenever you feel ready to. I jus know that you seem to act independent, and tend to keep to yourself. So, jus come over whenever you feel you, really, want dinner. Or do you want to come into my apartment, and watch me cook?”

“I’m famished, but I don’t want you to feel that I’m spying on you, or following you. So, are you serious about wanting me to watch you cook, or are you jus being extra polite to me?”

“No, I, really, mean it, this time, and if you want to change first that’s fine with me.”

“Okay, how about if I come over in about an hour? By that time, I’m sure you won’t feel like I’m jus nosing in on you.”

“An hour it will be. See you, then, Mike, and by the way, bring over some of your favorite wine, because it will be a good compliment to dinner.”













CHAPTER II

So, then, while she went inside her apartment, he jus stood, there, at his door, jus feeling like something is going on with her. But at this time, he jus can’t seem to figure out what’s really cooking in her life.

Since, he felt like he would be intruding in on her life, he jus decided to wait on the situation. He jus walked inside his apartment, and got himself, refreshed. It’s jus that he would feel more like himself, tonight, if he did, because he wasn’t about to turn down that dinner invitation, either. He jus wanted to wait until she decided to feel him out, and decided to come and get him to come over when the dinner was ready.

So, about an hour or two later, she couldn’t figure out why he hadn’t shown up over at her apartment. And she wasn’t about to set up a dinner for two, and then, eat by herself, either. When the cooking was completed about an hour later, she, already, had the table in her dining room area, set up with the best silverware, she had along with red cloth napkins along with two lit candles in the middle of the table, which had the scent of musk.

It took her a lot of guts to do this. But she, already, changed her clothes to something dressier. She, then, walked over to his apartment door, and rapped on the door, very lightly. She wasn’t about to walk right in because she didn’t feel this was the proper thing to do, either.

So, she was surprised, when he came to the door, and opened it, wearing jus a tee shirt and jeans when she was dressed up. At first, she felt uncomfortable about the situation, however, anyways, she said to him at the door, “Well, are you coming over for dinner or not? I have everything set up on the dining room table. And you’re going to be surprised when you see what I have in store for dinner for the two of us.”

At first, he didn’t know what to say, however, then, he said to her, “I see I can’t turn down dinner, tonight, because you have gone through all that trouble to make it for me. So, let’s go have dinner, and after dinner, I’ll allow you to decide what is to be next.”

That night, the two had a romantic dinner for the very first time. Since, the two have known each other all these months. The reason, she had held back on dinner, was because until tonight, she had been trying to jus be independent, and allow him to come over at his convenience without planning the evening, so to speak.. And the two had a very elegant dinner with music in the background, very soft music, along with the white wine, he brought over for dinner, and a dinner of crab legs along with shrimp scampi.

One thing about him was that she never could tell if he was ever interested in her, because he never seemed to be around enough. So, she could get a chance to know him better. One thing, she did know about him, which she found out from another neighbor of his, was that he seemed to be the type of guy to be used to reading a person’s mind. And that if he, really, was on the road to try to get into another person’s life, one thing about him was that he, actually, could manipulate someone to talk if he, really, wanted to do so.

This was one reason why he became an FBI agent, and to have something exciting to do with his life, besides living alone with any family, which job as an FBI agent, really, gave him, a change of life for the better.

Though, in being such an agent, could turn out to be a very dangerous job in the long run, especially, when he was about and around, trying to track some criminal with a lot of warrants against him. And one of his ways, through what, he, usually, ended up tracking down clues about different cases, and also, about Danny, was through having the ability to read between the lines.

Because of this one trait, which Danny could, always, see in him, to her, it seemed like he had a really tricky personality. Even though, the two never seemed to have the chance to get to know each other, personally, at least, not deeply, in the long run.

The impression, that he, always, seemed to get about her, was that he thought of her as being beautiful. And that the way, she, always, seemed to catch his eye, gave him, the idea, she was a looker to him in various ways, especially, having that urge, to want to stare at him right in the eye, whenever they would come across each other, which wasn’t that often.

What seemed to, really, annoy Melody, is how every time, she would happen to come in contact with him, he seemed to make her heart, skip a beat or two. And he, literally, would make her have to stop and catch her breath, and that something about him, made her body, tingle all over.

It seemed like she, hardly, ever saw him or talked to him more than a few words, most of the time. In him, being an FBI agent, he, actually, would be gone on what he referred to as being on a mission rather than on assignment, for no more than about a week at a time. For all these months, he’s been living next door to her, that to her, it seemed like she hasn’t, actually, seen him any more than about ten times, jus because his job, required him to have to move around and be on the go a lot, covering a lot of territory.

For one thing, though, she has found him to be extra-attractive looking; having those big shoulders and a very noticeable wide masculine build. Every time, she seemed to happen to come in contact with him whether it be in an elevator or in the hall, the looks about him, made her, want to get away from him, and to want to fly away with the wind.

She made it a point, to avoid getting entangled with any men, she would come across, whether it is at the high school, at which she taught, or over at the apartment building, whether she bumped into a guy inside or outside the building. Most of the time, when she would run into a guy during the evening hours, it seemed that when summertime was around, she would happen, sometimes, to run into some good-looking guy around the pool area.

She wasn’t interested in finding a guy to begin with, especially, FBI agents like Mike, who came across to her as being very rough-looking and dangerous type, because if it was the last thing, she wanted, was an FBI agent, prying into her life.

Because she had made many mistakes in her past in seeking out the wrong men for her type, she learned all about guys, the hard way. For the last 20 years of her life, she has never seemed to be able to land the right guy for herself. So, for this very reason, she has made it a habit to avoid getting involved with men for the last year or so. No longer, did she, seem to be interested to looking for any affection in any of the guys, who she happened to come across.

She wished to stay away form all the guys, and stay independent on her own, because she thought she wasn’t meant to have any more guys in her life. Though, some day, even though, she never may realize when it could happen to her, she jus may find Mr. Right, some day, to be the FBI type, who lives next door to her. But even though, this may not be for her to know, that this jus could end up happening to her, even when she isn’t in looking for any more men in life.

She was dating a guy, Anthony, and was trying to create a front, jus because Mr. FBI sexy agent caught her with her date, one night. So, she tried hard not to hurt Mr. Sexy feelings as he glared over at her while standing by his door, aware that she was with a new date of hers. She expected her man, if she ever had one like Mike in her life, to realize, she wanted to avoid all guys at all costs even if any of them, thought her as being beautiful and if she happened to catch their eye.

Every time, Mike happened to run into her in the hallway, he was overwhelmed by an urge to take her out, but ignore this feeling, because he didn’t think, she was ever worth it. But he didn’t know he was trying to entice her, because she has been going out with this Anthony guy, lately.

When Mike and Melody jus happened to bump into each other like in an elevator, she, always, had the impression, he was good-looking. So, though, she kept having a temptation, every time, they met, she seemed to notice, he had an exceptional build for a guy his age. Thought, she didn’t want to get involved with sexy-looking men, she felt she was missing out on good fun, being she felt a physical attraction to him.

He, really, didn’t want her, going out with Anthony or any other guy, because every time, mike would give Anthony or any other guy, this look, he never wanted to see the guy’s face, ever again. This odd feeling, he would get inside him, every time, he would bump into one of Melody’s dates. But it didn’t seem to please her at all, every time; Mike would give one of her dates, this evil eye.

So, since, this guy, Anthony, noticed this jealous look on Mike’s face whenever he saw him, come out of an elevator, neither Anthony nor Mike seemed to be able to get along with each other. Sometimes, the two of them, almost, got themselves into a fight; jus because of the jealousy, Mike was having towards him.

As things happened to be, she jus came back from her date. And as her date bid her, goodbye, and wanted to see her, again, being a new date, she, with a sly smile on her face, noticed the guy from next door, Mike, give her’ this odd look. In him, being an FBI agent, jus happened to be jealous about seeing her with her date, because he had an attraction to her. Though, he hasn’t, actually, seen her, but a few times, in the hall or an elevator.

Mike expected her to start reacting, making some friendly action towards him, because after all, he didn’t have the time or patience to cater to her wishes. So, he, really, didn’t prefer her being the beautiful type. Though, he jus wanted her to ditch Anthony, because he, Mike, was finding her to be so irresistible and sexy.

Mike didn’t want to go as far as to ask her out on a date. But her recent date didn’t seem attractive to her. he was able to sense about her. So, Mike wanted to get to know her better, if she, only, would ditch this other guy, because he was in great need of a girlfriend to ride along with him on his job. With having all this attraction, to her, he thought, she would be jus his type.

In spending endless days at his computer at his office, and moving around a lot on his job, he was in great need for a beautiful woman like her to make his life more interesting. But he’s been hesitant about going out with her, jus because she, always, seems to glare at him while in the hallway.

But what he didn’t know, was that she jus wasn’t interested in him, because she hasn’t ever had any guy in her life either, who she, actually, could have called a boyfriend, jus because she was used to be independent of guys. But something told her, the guy next door, Mike, might want to take her out, sometime. However, she jus didn’t dig noisy clubs, which he loved hanging out at jus to have a social life.

He didn’t even seem eager to go out to the clubs, anymore, that evening. In fact, Melody was surprised; he was even taking some interest in her, because he seemed to live a complicated life. This was the last thing, she could put up with a man, an FBI agent, who was strong and totally dangerous like Mike.

One thing, he was good at doing, was making her, become speechless, and really, could tamper with her ego.

She started bumping into him, more often, as if he has wanted to get to know her better. He was playing hard-to-get on her, and shoving himself towards her. Also, she noticed, casually, that he has had those curious eyes of a dangerous man.

This was going to turn out to be just an impromptu night, but no real date and jus being neighbors with each other, was what he was going to do with her. Though, he, really, wanted this to turn out to be a real date, when she was ready for one like this. He didn’t want to force her into anything; she didn’t want to do with him. So, he was jus playing it safe for awhile.

Jus before this, he had left her apartment after having visited with her for awhile. She was a bit bemused, when she found out, he wasn’t about to ask her out on a date ever, because she jus wasn’t his type. Since, she has been becoming so engrossed at night in making up lessons for school, she hasn’t had much of a chance to meet or even talk to Mike to get to know him better

Her past boyfriends, especially, this one guy, really, stuck out in her life. Among social and unsatisfying relationships and empty ones, one of them led to a disastrous affair with a man, who’s gone out of his way to try and destroy her pride and self-esteem.

Also, this guy had pulled physical violence on him, actually, once, raping her, which affair with some French guy had turned out in her breaking up jus when he had been trying to force her into marriage. And she had met him amongst other losers at clubs.

Her family, being over protective at that time, made her bends towards her destructive ways. But her family would be, there, to get her out of trouble.

The last year, she had spent not dating much, but working on her schooling and lesions for her teaching job in English and Math along with gym..

Mike got to the point; he couldn’t get her off his mind. And couldn’t figure out why he, suddenly, was aware, he had been getting himself into a bad habit of visiting her often, more than he thought was good for him. This was because he thought she didn’t like him in being the dangerous type. But it was wearing off on him, and he didn’t know how to handle her being more and more a part of him.

To his friends, he seemed to be acting different. However, he didn’t know, he has been falling in love with Melody from the very first day, on which he had moved into his apartment. He’s been mooning over her, and her not even knowing he has or why he has been doing this.

To her surprise, he started showing up at her door, regularly. And at those times, he when he did, he, always, claimed, he waned to take her out to a movie. But he didn’t want to go about this as treating her like a regular date. He claimed he felt like he needed something else to do with himself besides working all those long hours during the week.

But to her, it seemed, he was trying to follow her around. Because he knew, she didn’t like men, going after her, that he wasn’t about to entice her in any way through making any moves on her.

He was being charming and friendly to her. Thought, he wasn’t aware of this, in some way, danger had its part in her life, now. However, she has been trying hard to read between the lines, because she knew, he has been having something up his sleeve, lately. This caused her to end up under his spell, in order, to make her, feel she was obligated to please and impress him, jus because he wanted more from her than what meets the eye. .

She, only, wanted to be a friend to him, jus because he’s an FBI agent, the dangerous type. What she didn’t know was if he jus wanted her for companionship, or wanted something more from her like sex. But even if she went out with him, this would mean taking a big risk on her part, to, possibly, end up turning into some suspect, again, on some criminal case if she wasn’t careful.

He could be playing games with her mind, which she didn’t know anything about going on before her very eyes. If she tried hard on her part to allow him to keep seeing her, often, this could turn into a dangerous relationship, one she wouldn’t be able to get out of. Any guy, who carried a gun, she had to learn, couldn’t be trusted to mingle with.

Because one of these days, she could end up being dead meat on no fault of her own. It was bad enough that she had an attraction for him. So, she couldn’t resist him in any way.

One thing, he has figured out about her, was that she could have been hurt in her past, one way or another, because, once, she had taken up self-defense classes. And these classes had helped her out, protecting her against bad circumstances. One thing, that self-defense helped her in was that he found, she could lead him around by the nose, which didn’t seem to bother her, one bit.

Then, he had to take off for a few weeks on some assignment, jus after she was tempted to give into her attraction to him, which he couldn’t do anything about yet. This attraction had to happen to her, jus when they were getting close to each other. He had to leave her, which seemed to, really, bother both of them in a way.

When he went away, she found, she was missing him, which feeling seemed, suddenly, to creep up on her. What was she going to do, if he never came back to her, like if ended up getting himself, shot down during his assignment?

During the next few weeks, he was gone; she couldn’t help wondering if he was going to become caught up in some danger. And she kept dreaming about him, getting killed off, which seemed to haunt her in a way.

What she couldn’t comprehend about guys, anymore, was that she couldn’t tell she had a good trustful guy in her life, whenever she met one. and Mike could jus end up being the right guy for her. Though, she never thought, the dangerous type was for her, she came to a conclusion concerning other guys; she has had as boyfriends when she was in her teens.

Back then, she had her hands full of them until the bad ones crept into her life, and made a mess of her life.

One night, when she came home from shopping, something, some weird feeling had reminded her to go back to her car to get her keys, which she left inside her car. But jus as she entered the elevator, some large male figure tried to grab her. But she tried to dodge out of his way. As he tried to go after her, again, he slipped onto the floor. And then, to her surprise, she found Mike on the floor with bruises all over his face along his clothes being tinged with blood.

As she fell down to her knees in surprise, he turned unconscious on the floor, with her not knowing what to do, at first. She wondered if he tried to attack her or trying to grab her to prevent t some other guy from doing so. She wanted to call an ambulance over her cell phone, which was locked up inside her car.

So, she was a lucky, one of her other neighbors happened to walk by to help her out. But Mike got up upon coming out of his comatose state. And he didn’t want either Melody or her other neighbor, Pat, to call an ambulance, because he has something against hospitals.

Though, he admitted to him, that he jus has been beaten up, and knew how to handle the situation on his own. But neither Pat nor Melody were about to jus allow him to go without any emergency treatment, because he had gotten himself into a bad situation. And then, it made them, feel bad that he had been beaten up.

So, upon Melody and Pat taking him to Melody’s apartment, Melody got busy taking care of his face with her first aid kit.

While Melody was taking care of him, he, finally, admitted to her what had gone wrong with him, “I made some dumb error, which, almost, cost me my life, because some gang members. I was supposed to arrest them for causing a disturbance in public, and they all had been convicted of man slaughter. These guys were under investigation, but a couple of my agent buddies showed up over at the club. And they helped get all the gang members into custody, after a couple of the gang beat me merciless. So, I don’t want any report made up about anything concerning this incident, and me, getting beaten up.”

A buddy of his had drove him back home in his car without taking him for emergency treatment, jus because Mike didn’t want him to take him anywhere for treatment. Then, he was treated for by a neighbor of his, Melody. However, when she was treating him, what he has on his mind is about going to bed with her. So, he wanted to lie down in her bed. But in sensing what he wanted to get into, she made him stay on the couch in her living room.

When they ate dinner, together, that evening over at her apartment, he was feeling an affect of touch on him. What was on his mind was that he was ready to get her into bed. Then, she got him away from that thought, and invited him to go to Georgia with her to visit her family for a holiday.

As they arrived at their destination after an eight hour drive, all he could think of was something seductive, how a hot drink and bed would be so enticing to him being he has fallen for her after knowing her for about eight months.

She didn’t seem like someone, who would get herself, mixed up with the wrong guy. But he wondered if some incident in her past, had made her, put up her guard when it came to have self-control over the guys, she’s picked out in life to be her boyfriends.

To Mike, it was obvious, after all these months, that he was a guy, she, easily, got herself into a relationship with. What, really, gave her and Mike, the chance of their lives, was when all the family left after the holiday. And the two were left over at the family house, alone. So, this gave Mike, a big chance of his life, and a change of heart, on how he would follow Melody around, and sees if he could talk her into going to bed with him.

Would they, also, try sleeping, together, now that all of her family has left for home? But for now, the two’s relationship might take a new twist, if the two decided to go off to a club. So, she can run into some of her old friends, who hang out, there, at the club, he has picked for the night.

But over at the club, one of her old friends kept placing her hand right on Mike’s thigh. And this woman, also, tried to smooch him on the cheek, while she was making Mike, jealous and teed off, because Melody was supposed to be his date and girlfriend. And this, also, teed off Melody as she was singing with the band, that night. She used to be a singer over at this club when she was younger.

But what Mike wanted was having her in bed with her, because he keeps having dreams about her, every night, and can’t seem to keep her off his mind.

When the two arrived later that evening back over at the house, he let her know, he wanted her, now, and not for her past or future. And if she didn’t want to go any further into a relationship with him, it was up to her. But she didn’t want to make any commitment to him.

Then, that night, she walked right into the room, which he was using over at the house for himself. Upon her doing so, the two wanted to do this, and really, got into some good romance, that night. And after this night, she wanted to go back to jus being friends with him.

But whether she could go to bed with him, and then, go back to jus friends, would be a big risk for her, because being she has this attraction for him. That she, probably, jus find him, always, to be irresistible to her, and this could cause her attraction to him, to become so strong, that she won’t be able to find any way out of this route going to bed with him, again.

After they were back in Arkansas, one time, when she happened to have gone out with a new date of hers, which she had met over at the club, one night, it jus so happened that Mike ran into them right at Melody’s apartment door. And since, Mike gave her date, the evil eye, jus like he does to every other date, he catches her with, the other guy, her date for the date, didn’t like this at all.

So, then, this started a big fight between the two guys, and Melody didn’t know what to do. So, she, then, quickly, walked inside her apartment, and closed her door. However, she jus stayed by her door, watching the two guys, getting into their fight. So, what she did right after the two was done fighting. And her date ended up with a black eye. Jus because he has started the fight with Mike, she ditched her new date, and refused to see him, anymore.

She didn’t want her new date, Dave, around at her door, anymore, jus because this wasn’t the first time, in which the guy, has started a fight with Mike. And she got the impression, that he jus might start a fight with her for no reason at all, jus because he knew by now, that she and Mike have been getting closer to each other. Also, her new date grew afraid of Mike; because he might jus get another threat from Mike to be killed off with his gun.

At first, when Melody came home from teaching at school, she seemed to keep catching Mike’s gaze. And she kept finding him, very irresistible and by now, has a strong attraction to him. Though, at first, she didn’t go for dangerous guys, like agents, because of the mistakes, she had made in her past in getting mixed up with his type, the dangerous type. She didn’t know what to do with herself, at first, because she hasn’t bumped into Mike enough to keep inviting him inside her apartment.

But one night, when she least expected this to happen, her last date, who she wasn’t seeing anymore, happened to appear at her door. And right at the door, when she had the guts to open it up, he placed a threat on her to chase Mike out of her life, when he didn’t even know her to begin with.

So, being she refused to go out with him, anymore, at any cost, he snuck into her apartment, that night, and demanded a date from her, which she turned down right away. She wasn’t about to admit any of her feelings to him, which she thought she had for Mike. So, jus because she wouldn’t reveal any of them, he tried to force her to go out with him, again. And he was going to force her to go on walks with him or even the movies, that night.

Because Mike happened to catch the guy in the hall, trying to grab onto her throat, he rushed over to her, and knocked the guy down on the floor and free from her. She was gasping for breath and in tears. So, since, she was on the floor, half aware, Mike was around her, at first, jus after he shot the guy down dead in self-defense, she wasn’t aware of Mike, carrying her into his apartment to give her, first aid. But after him, performing CPR on her, and giving her, some smelling salts, when she came to, she didn’t remember her last date, almost, strangling her.

So, she was going to run out the door of Mike’s apartment. But he told her that he saved her life, because her last date, almost, strangled her to death. So, she, upon having some seizure medicine, which he knew, she had to take because the near strangulation, made her go into a seizure, she took his advice and then, rested on a couch in his living room until the next day.

Also, Mike called emergency care for her, and her doctor, to give her, urgent care, because he was afraid to move her. Since, she jus had a seizure inside his apartment.

In the meantime, he got the key to her apartment from her, and got some necessities for her like her medicine.

When he came back to his apartment, a few minutes later, the doctor was, there, at his apartment, giving her, emergency medical treatment.

But then, being Mike’s an FBI agent, he was cleared of the murder of Melody’s last date, because it had been an act of self-defense on his part.

Then, Mike wouldn’t allow her back into her apartment until the doctor got her a live-in-nurse.

Now, that a live-in-nurse and her doctor have her, thoroughly, checked out, she jus found out, she has a concussion. So, she has to go to a nursing home or stay at Mike’s apartment. So, she chose Mike’s apartment, because she’s afraid of living alone. At his apartment, there, he has the live-in-nurse give her care, while he was gone on his job.

But since, the cause of her last date and his strangulation on her opened up; again, by Mike. She joined him on the case, because he needs her and she has a physical attraction for him, too, and can’t seem to resist him.

In him, sensing this about her, he had her become his partner, in helping him, solving the strangulation case. So, since, she was well enough to be his partner, the -live-in-nurse, still, lived with her at Mike’s apartment when she wasn’t riding with him along in his car.

She moved out of her apartment and stayed in Mike’s apartment, permanently, partly, because her last date couldn’t be trusted not to break into her apartment, because he, still, could be, partly, alive. Even though, Mike thought he had shot the guy, dead, when he had been shot dead in a self-defense situation.

Being that she started having seizures; again, being a regular partner was too risky for her, if she had to ride along with Mike. The live-in-nurse would allow her to ride with Mike when she was sure her seizures were under control.

But then, she did work for him on computer over at his apartment under the live-in-nurse’s supervision. Melody’s attraction to him was getting stronger and so, he was getting attracted to her more jus in living with her and the two sleeping together at night in bed, whenever he was home at night.

The two started making love and made love in his car, whenever they had the chance to do it.

Then, one day, when they thought, the self-defense case was ready to be close, her last date was found to have been hiding after being at a mental hospital, and broke out of the place.

One day, in him, appearing at Mike’s door, she wouldn’t open the door for him. And after him, almost, taking mike’s life, Mike got a court order on the guy, and this guy was taken to jail by police. And Mike, too, along with the policemen, made sure he was put in a locked jail, where he didn’t have any access to any other prisoners.

A SAILOR HAS A BABY BY CHERYL V

A SAILOR HAS A BABY

CHAPTER I

Anna jus happened to be with baby, and is, still, going through waves of morning sickness at four months along in her pregnancy. She has been struggling with her pregnancy, ever she, first, found she was knocked up. For one thing, she’s not certain who may have made her, end up being this way, because it could be either Brent or some sailor, she met one night over at a bar.

The worse thing about all this is that she was supposed to be engaged to Brent, and he jus happened not to be around in her life, anymore. Jus when the two jus got involved in an engagement, before the two even had a chance to consider, getting married to each other, the two wanted to wait to get married after being in love with him for about six years. However, she’s, still, in love with him, and he died on her about four months ago.

She’s never been able to become pregnant, all these six year, she had known Brent. So, she figured that she must be carrying his baby. But she’s convinced herself, that because they had been so much love. That she would keep having all this heartache inside, which developed from having been missing him so much. In him, having died on her, made it very difficult for her to bear, jus because she’s been feeling very hurt inside over his death.

Jus because she waited so long to get married to him, she felt guilty about the whole situation, jus because she had been so deeply in love with him. Another thing, she couldn’t forgive herself, for having waited so long to get married to him. So, their marriage, then, never ended up doing through, because jus before he died, they had jus set their wedding date.

If she wasn’t pregnant, she wouldn’t be having Brent’s child inside her womb. She wanted to live a good life under the preacher’s rule. But she had ruined that type of life for herself. She felt so guilty about being pregnant, whether the baby inside her belonged to or that sailor, it didn’t seem to matter to her, anymore. Even if she had vowed not to make love with any guy, other than Brent, jus didn’t seem to faze her, anymore.

What she, really, wanted to do to hope it would relieve all this guilt inside of having gotten pregnant before marriage, was disappear, and go into hiding after the baby was born. She didn’t want to face the bare truth that it was possible, some Navy sailor, possibly, could have gotten her knocked up.

Since, her father found out, one day, that his daughter, Anna, was pregnant without being married, he, then, took some action on this case. To her alarm, her father had the guts to make her, go with him over to the Navy base, and he was going to get this situation, settled once for all. He, actually, confronted the Captain about her, being pregnant.

Then, upon finding out about Anna, being with baby, thought it was in the best interest to get the sailor, Mike, to marry Anna, jus because he thought, he has been one, who has gotten Anna knocked up. Even though, neither Anna nor Mike approved of this action, being neither of them was sure, that Anna was carrying Mike’s baby, the Captain went ahead and took some more action.

What the Captain did, to Anna’s surprise, have a DNA test done. Because the results showed, that Mike must have gotten her, knocked up, that night, the two met each other at that bar; he told the results of the test to Anna’s father. And jus because the Captain and her father agreed that Mike should marry her, because he, definitely, was the one, who had gotten her knocked up, the Captain had a strong opinion about the whole thing.

This is why Anna’s father brought her down to the Navy base. Although, neither Mike nor Anna agreed to get married jus because of a DNA test, he was very mad at her father for making her, face the Captain about the situation. For one thing, neither Anna nor Mike knew each other to begin with. And Mike was full of anger over the situation, of Anna being pregnant.

jus because her father and the Captain saw proof through this DNA test, that she was with baby, her father embarrassed her through taking down to Navy base. And he suggested that she get married to Mike for the baby’s sake. Also, the Captain felt that Mike had no choice about the matter of getting married.

So, upon Mike, meeting her over at the naval base, the Captain had a minister, there, at the base, to make Mike and Anna, go through a wedding ceremony. Also, the Captain thought it was important, that the two say their wedding vows to each other in front of the minister, jus before getting married.

Now, that Mike and Anna have approached each other in front of the minister, the Captain didn’t waste any time, in having this marriage ceremony go through. At this time, there, surely, wasn’t any love between Mike and Anna. So, neither of them like being pushed into marriage, when neither of them had any time to think this situation over by themselves.

As the minister was going through with this wedding ceremony, it bothered Anna and Mike a lot that the Captain and her father had to be present for this wedding ceremony. This wedding ceremony wasn’t easy for either Mike or Anna to go through, because the vows, which the two had to say to each other, really, were made up by her father.

So, as each one took their turn to speak out their wedding vows to each other, they, really, didn’t mean a thing to either of them. Also, as they said them to each other, their vows, surely, didn’t sound anything but mechanical to them. And both of them were, actually, relieved when they were done speaking to each other about what each of them were bound to do for each other as far as this marriage went.

As soon as the wedding ceremony was over with, neither Mike nor Anna could even get any length of time, alone, to go on a honeymoon, together. What he figured could be some type of honeymoon, together, with Anna, was jus in spending some time in bed with each other, now, that the two were, officially, married. That night, he thought he was going to be able to get her to start going to bed with him, and making every night in bed with each other, be like some honeymoon for them.

However, this arrangement didn’t work out for them at all, although, she knew that in getting married, she could spend all the time in bed with him, that she wanted to. So, upon moving into a one-bedroom apartment, together, that very night, didn’t seem to go well with her, because being she didn’t know him at all, she jus didn’t want to get into sleeping with him, yet, because they were strangers to each other.

But, somehow, he was able to think of a way, he could sleep with her, with him, sleeping on top of the covers. She fell asleep in her bedroom jus after they arrived over at their apartment. And the best, he could do to start out with being married to her, in sleeping on top of the covers, he found out to be the best arrangement, he could work out for now.

Since, she was very against sleeping with him in the bed, jus because she fell asleep on him. and he was unable to wake her up to take her to the living room couch, when she woke up in the morning, she was mad at him for allowing her to sleep in the same bed with him. He tried to get her to understand, that he had tried to wake her up after she fell asleep. But in the long run, she had a right to be mad at him. at least, he could have jus gone ahead, and carried her over to the living room couch, anyways, even if he ended up waking her up in doing so.

So, since, every night for a week, she kept falling asleep on his bed, before he was ready to fall asleep at night, he decided, he should be the one, sleeping on the living room couch, jus to make her happy.

However, in a week’s time, he was lucky as a four-leaf clover, to get a two-bedroom apartment for the two of them. During the time, in which some of his friends were helping him and her, move into their new apartment, Mike was very against her, lifting anything. So, she had to settle for moving smaller things into their apartment, which she didn’t seem to like very much.

Although, she’s pregnant, she figured, she was very able to help the guys, move some big things into their new home. She jus felt, as though, Mike was treating her like a baby, in jus allowing her to move her stuff into the apartment.

But in the beginning of their marriage, even before moving into this other apartment, he had to remind her. That the two of them had made a deal, for her, not to work or lift anything heavy, jus because he thought it was bad for her, being she was with baby.

BACKFLASH

That one night, when she had met him over at a local bar in town, Mike’s the one, who tried to get her to believe, that she had been the one, who had seduced him to go to bed with her. Even though, being she had been drunk that night, she didn’t even comply with having been the type of person, who would be so dumb as to have done anything to seduce him, that night.

So, she got the idea, jus because she has no memory of having done anything to talk him into doing any making love, that night, she thought of this night, as a night, when the two, only, had met each other.

But she had to take the guilt upon herself that she had ended up with baby, jus because she had led him on, that one night. This was one thing, which she had known for sure as having happened that night. , that there’s no doubt, that he had been stoned, because she, truly, had smelled the alcohol on his breath, that same night.

Even though, he wouldn’t admit about his drinking, she’s not lying about him, having had quite a few drinks, that night. She had been trying to get him to face the truth, that he hadn’t been able go to a bar, without getting carried away with his drinking.

What had been unfortunate for her, jus because the two had to get married, she had to put up with him being a heavy drinker, whenever he had gone to a bar, or had to have a night out with his friends from the Navy base.

So far, the two hadn’t been living up to their vows of marriage, jus because the two, already, had gotten into a couple of arguments, one being about him, sleeping with her, and the other one about him, denying he’s a heavy drinker. So, because of these arguments, she had been wondering, ever since, their first argument, jus how long their marriage was going to last.

And the fact of the matter was, that neither of them had seemed to have anything in common from the first day, they ended up married.

That night, which had turned out to be moving night, when a couple of Mike’s friends had dropped over, she had happened to have overheard, what they had been talking about. Upon her, having had overheard the guys, she had found out, that one of them had implied Mike, as having this mystery woman in his life, not being Anna.

One of them had implied, that same night, that Mike must be involved with some other woman, who he had known for some time. According to what the guys had talked about, that night, gave Anna, the idea, that he had been seeing this other woman behind her back. Ever since, that night, when her and Mike had met each over at a bar.

Anna thought she was a fool over have found out about Mike, having some other woman in his life. She jus didn’t want to face the fact, that he might be seeing some other woman behind his back, when she was the least aware of this happening.

Mike, then, to her surprise, acted weird in not letting any of his friends; know about his marriage to Anna. Upon sensing this about Mike, she, then, was led to believe, that; maybe, it was a mistake to be married to him.

she thought, Mike was trying to hide everything about being married to her, that, maybe, he’s trying to act suspicious about this situation, jus because he didn’t love her as he’s trying to cover up about having this other woman in his life. That he must love this other woman, because jus because she’s the one, he loves, that was the very reason, he didn’t wish to be married to Anna.

Anna, really, got the idea that jus because he had been the one, not Brent, who had ended up getting her, knocked up. He doesn’t want any of his friends to know the truth about him, having gotten her, with baby. She figured he was trying to bury the whole truth around her pregnancy, jus because he felt too embarrassed and guilty about this situation. And that because every one of his friends are married to their gals, and were married before having children, that they have labeled her as a misfit.

After all, jus because he thinks, that she had been the one, who had done all the seducing, that one night, she had met him a bar, that she should be the one, who should feel responsible for having been knocked up by him.

What, really, seemed to haunt her day and night, was that fact, that he had been the one, who had slipped. And that there must be another woman in his life that she hasn’t known about until now. Jus by the way, he’s been acting around his friends, she should be the one, carrying all this guilt inside her, jus because it was her fault, for getting mixed with him, that one night over at the bar. And that she should never have tried to seduce him in the first place, without knowing beforehand, if he had another woman in his life.

So, she thought it must be her fault, that he made her, pregnant. And that she’s the one, who must accept the truth, that he has this other woman in his life besides her. Another thing is that there’s nothing, she can do about this matter, jus because she had to get married to him.

So, that if she wants to stay married to him, that she must live with the fact. That he could be seeing this other woman behind her back. And that because of this other possible woman in his life, that she could keep them, from ever falling in love and making any good out of their marriage.

She didn’t like the fact that he never has admitted to her, that he was forced into marrying her. Another thing was that not one, has he, ever told her, the real truth, whether any real love has come out of their marriage, since, it, already, has been a couple of months, since, the two, first, got married.

Another thing, which she didn’t like about their marriage, that it, actually, was his choice and not hers, to get married in the first place. Ever since, that one day, on which the two were forced to get married. The two of them haven’t seemed to be compatible with each other in any, and because of this incompatibility, their marriage, probably, won’t last very much longer.

With scorn, she has been acting like her marriage to him hasn’t turned out to be a game or love match, because being she, still, felt, as though, she’s in love with this other guy, who, she, once, was supposed to marry. Jus because from the very first day, on which her and Mike had gotten married, nothing has, really, happened between the two to be of proof, that their marriage ever has been a good one.

She has been interpreting their marriage as being one, which never has gone beyond jus being a pact. That in Mike, having given into getting married to her, that one day, he had done, jus so that he would have the fun of his life, in seeing jus how she was going to keep reacting towards him, jus because he could have another woman in his life, which she, really, has gotten the opportunity to meet.

So, she figured that what he, actually, has been trying to do, is make her, feel like an idiot, jus so that if he has been seeing this other woman in truth, no matter what he tries to do in getting her to sleep with him, jus isn’t ever going to work out.

She’s been hoping that some day, he’s going to wake up, and do something to dissolve their marriage. From day one, she jus hasn’t been able to comply with any of his wishes, especially, the one in having tried, many times, to get her to make love and sleep in the same bed at night. In a way, she has been feeling very relieved, that in this apartment, they have been living in, has another bedroom, because in her, sleeping in this other bedroom, has been the best arrangement for her, in helping her, keep a lot of distance between them.

But if he ever starts giving into her, especially, reacting to her touches, that someday, maybe, the two will start getting some emotion in their relationship, which will help them, fall in love with each other. If there happens ever to be great emotion, emerging into their relationship and involving effort from both of them, that maybe their relationship jus might grow both emotionally and physically.

By now, she figured, that if Mike has, actually, lost this other woman in his life, it must behind him for good, because it’s, actually, been noticed by her. That he’s been concentrating through his marriage to Anna, in centering his whole life on her. One thing, which she has realized, is that he’s been trying to do whatever he can to please her, and making a good job out of marriage, where there’s no love involved.

The two of them have jus been living like they were brother and sister. But one day out of the blue, she jus, suddenly, felt this yearning creep up inside her out of nowhere. Every time, it seemed when he was around her, she start to get this yearning for his kissing. So, then, one time, when he was around his friends, he, accidentally, gave into kissing her, right in front of them.

Then, upon him, finally, bringing the cat out of the bag about her pregnancy, she had this look of embarrassment on her face as she pulled back from him. She started crying right in front of his friends, and upon doing so, she was in enough tears to fill a bucket.

She, also, had happened to have overheard from one of his friends, one night, when they were playing cards, that Mike, actually, slipped, and instead of keeping his promise to her not to tell any of his friends about her, it slipped out of her mouth, about her, having been knocked up by him.

Then, that very night, after he came home from playing cards with his friends with her, having been along with him, jus having watched them all play some Poker, that night, they had an argument over where they should be sleeping. And since, he was the first one to speak, he, then, let out to her like letting a cat out of a bag that he couldn’t get over why she, still, insisted on sleeping in a separate bedroom.

And that in her, doing so, hasn’t been helping the situation at all. It jus has been making the situation worse. Because since, the very day, they moved into their new apartment, he has been allowing her to sleep in a different bedroom, jus because it has been her wish to do so. But what he didn’t like about this situation was that it wasn’t doing anything to get the two of them to make love. And that beyond kissing and touching each other, there hasn’t been anything else happening between them, physically or emotionally, for that matter.

A few brief kisses felt good to her, since, that night they got into a fight, as to who should be sleeping the bigger bed, and that they aren’t doing themselves, any good, over sleeping in separate bedrooms, like they have been doing. And this has been happening, because she, always, seem to refuse to get any further than touching, partly, because she has fallen asleep, before he has any chance to get any closer to her through touching.

He has been touching her, but it hasn’t seemed to do any good for either of them. When she’s sleeping, she doesn’t seem to get turned from any time, when he tried to touch her all over, trying to get her hot enough to want to make love, or even sleeping with him overnight.

Another thing was that she has been seeing him as more of a caretaker than a husband. And that this hasn’t been a good arrangement for them, because it hasn’t been helping her, get into sleeping with him in the same bed at night, either. Though, at least, she has taken a big step in their relationship, by realizing, that this other woman, who used to be in his life, probably, jus have been lovers in the past. And she’s been getting the notion that the two still, could end up being lovers, again, like they have in the past.

Upon him, driving her to Bangor, they happened to come upon the house, they were to live in. But the thing was that it has two bedrooms, and they got into a fight over who was to take the bigger bedroom.

She was the one, who, really, was making an issue over the situation, and because of this, he got very angry at her. And he, then, jus stormed out of the house, because she mentioned they don’t sleep together to a friend of his.

It’s jus that matters haven’t been going well, ever since, that day on which the two ended up getting forced into marriage. And another thing was that she took much delight in defying him a lot. He has lost all patience with her, jus because she argued with him, during the beginning of their marriage. And jus because things seemed to not be going his way, he can’t seem to think of any way, to get his trust back in her, either.
































CHAPTER II


It, really, made her feel better, when she found out from him, that this other woman in Mike’s life, was jus a friend and that they have jus dated over the last few years. And that he hasn’t been seeing her, ever since, he and Anna have gotten married, and nothing has ever budded from their relationship with each other.

So, this could, only, mean that the two never were lovers to begin with, like Anna, originally, thought about the two of them. So, jus in knowing this, made her, feel more like she was married to Mike and not jus a pawn, to jus be pushed around whenever he felt like doing so.

From the very time, he met Anna, he could, honestly, prove to her, there never had been another woman in his life. So, he had been somewhat in love with her, from that very night, on which they met each other at the bar.

He had, really, gone through a lot of pain, when he had, actually, got a detective involved in her case, and that this he has done, ever since, that actual night, on which they had first met at a bar. And this detective work, he, actually, had done before the two had gotten married.

But no matter, what he tried to do to locate her that he ended up failing in his attempt to get her back into his life, back then. All this time, he had been trying to locate her whereabouts, his heart ached so bad that it, always, felt like a knife was cutting through his heart, because he cared so much about her from that very night, on which he had met her.

Since, she was his wife, now, and has been for a few months, their marriage has caused nothing to happen between them; even no love has been involved. To him, their marriage had been, only, a bunch of vows, and what they spoke to each other during their wedding ceremony.

He jus didn’t know at this point, jus how long their marriage was going to last, because they jus weren’t making love yet, although there was some kissing and touching involved in their marriage. He jus knew that they couldn’t go without making love to each other and stay married, because in not making love jus wasn’t going to allow any love, to seep into their marriage.

To him, there jus seemed to be no feelings involved in their marriage. And neither he nor she were making any effort to do something about the problems, they were having as far as their marriage was going.

The two jus weren’t acting like husband and wife, if neither one wanted to make love. And they kept holding back on this situation. And if they didn’t do anything to make their marriage better, and kept hiding their feelings from each other along with lack of communication, who knows how long their marriage was going to last or turn into a real marriage.

He figured that since, she wouldn’t willingly go to bed with him. that he would have to think of some way, to trick her into going to bed with him, no matter, how long it took whether it seemed crazy to him or not.

There was no doubt, that all of Mike’s friends, that they, somehow, figured out he and his wife have been sleeping in separate beds, jus because this she seemed to want. She, really, wanted to keep distance between her and Mike, because she wanted to get to know him better, first.

For one thing, he jus knew that she was counting on doing all she could, in making him, have this guilt complex, for not having this other woman in his life, anymore. To him, she seemed to be curious of him, having been some city slicker throughout his life.

What she had been interpreting about him, is that because he was feeling hurt by not having this other woman in life, anymore, and that she, Anna, has, unfortunately, taken this other woman’s place in his life. Although, he and this other woman wouldn’t see each other, anymore, to her, at least, this proved that he was trying very hard to be a husband to her.

Anna figured that what he needed to do for her was bed for some forgiveness from her, upon having been involved with this other woman, on that night, on which Anna and him ended up in bed with each other.

However, Anna should be the one, held responsible for having seduced him to bed, that night. She thought that he’s had the impression during all the time, the two; he and Anna have been married. That this other woman, he must be in love with, because she, always, has been a better woman, than she is at kisses or making love for that matter.

He wanted to keep this situation involving around this woman in the dark. But in doing so, wasn’t going to help him and Anna, get any better, jus because the two, not long ago, are married. This was no way to treat his wife, either, through trying to keep his past involvement with this other woman, a secret, jus because Anna, still, has the impression, he may be seeing this woman behind her back.

Anna was very angry over the fact, that he even had another woman in his life before her, because at that time, when she had met Mike over at the bar, she could sense, that he had been involved with that woman at that time. That he shouldn’t have allowed Anna to seduce him, that one night, because he had been seeing another woman, back then. Also, she thought, he, still, was seeing this other woman, and something was going on between the two of them.

There’s no doubt that Anna has been feeling jealous, because she’s been thinking, he’s, still, in love with this other woman, and that this other woman could get in the way of their marriage, if she wasn’t doing so, already. If it’s true that he and this other woman are in love, then, Anna jus doesn’t feel like she wanted to stay married to him. She’s jus been feeling like she’s getting in the way of their relationship, if they ever had one in the first place.

One night, when she and Mike jus happened to be having dinner with candlelight, things jus didn’t seem to be going well between them, that night. So, Mike jus got himself, carried away, and started an argument between them.

That night, jus as the two were sitting down to dinner, he said in a curious voice to her, “You, Anna, really, have been acting like there’s no love between us, yet.”

“So, what you’re saying is this that you’re jealous of the fact, that I jus happened to have had another woman in my life, that one night, we had met at the bar. What’s the matter with you, lately?”

“I’ve been feeling uneasy inside, because you’ve been giving me, the impression, that you, still, have this other woman in your life.”

So, what you’re trying to tell me is that you’ve been jealous, jus because I happened to have another woman in my life, that night, when we had, first, met over at the bar.”

“Yes, I’ve been jealous over you, having this other woman in your life.”

“For one thing, we haven’t been married, that long, and you haven’t given me, the chance, yet, to explain anything about his other woman.”

“Okay, since, we’re married; now, you let me in about this secret to do with this other woman.”

“Be sure you listen, closely, to me, because I’m not about to try to keep explaining jus how I’ve been feeling. For one thing, ever since, the two of us, first, met, there has been something about you, which has stopped me from wanting to see this other woman, anymore.”

Upon getting his composure back, and not getting any reply from her, he continued, “If you so concerned about staying married to me, then, stop holding anything against me. I’ve not having anything to do with this other woman. Another thing is that don’t believe anything, any of my friends tell you about her, because they don’t know what’s going on.”

Jus when he thought, he was getting, somewhere, with their marriage, she had to take everything, the wrong way, and as a result of lack of communication, there is much distrust between the two of them. She got the impression, he was cheating on her, when in the long run, he wasn’t doing so, because this other woman has been out of his life, ever since, the two met.

But she confessed her anger to him, and that she’s been carried away with everything. So, because she did so, he embraced her and she brought his lips to hers. He had a strong desire inside him to make love to her, and this desire has crept up inside him when around her for a few months but he jus has been afraid to give into this desire, yet.

Jus as the two happened to be lying on his bed, something inside him, made him, stop, abruptly, as she had anger, stirring up inside her over this other woman; he used to date, because Anna jus happened to remember seeing her on the base with Mike, not long ago. Then, she brought something to light, and said to him, whiles them, still, was lying on the bed.

“I have something I need to tell you, Mike. This is that Brent and I were, once, engaged to each other to get married. I jus loved him so much, back then. And then, he had to die on me from being sickly from cancer, jus before we planned to get married.”

“What you’re trying to tell me, is that you think you might, still, be in love with him.

“Yes, that’s so true, and whenever I dream about him at night, it seems to bring back into my mind, how much we were in love back then. Another thing is that I think I, still, can’t help loving him, yet, although, he has been gone for a few months, now. It hurts me so much, inside, sometimes, whenever he comes into my mind.”

“What you’re telling me, are that he’s the one you love, not me, then, and are that right?”

“Although, I do love him a lot, yet, it doesn’t mean that I don’t love you some, Mike. In fact, this physical attraction, I keep having whenever you’re around me, makes me, want to make love to you. But something is holding me, back from getting involved with you. I think it’s, partly, because I haven’t gotten to know you well enough, yet.”

“I don’t think you ever have told me, that he’s dead.”

“And another thing is that I’m, still, a virgin, which, probably, comes like a shock to you.”

“Yes, that is quite shocking to me. In fact, I don’t’ think you’re ready to make love. So, I think what you need is some time, to get over Brent. And when you are over him, let me know, because before you can love me, I think that’s what you need to do, yet.”

“Well, one thing is that I’ve jus told you that he has died from cancer. But, really, I have jus been trying to hide the fact, that he died in a freak car accident. So, I can’t hide it from you, any longer, because in not facing the truth about him, I think has kept me, from falling in love with you.”

“Now, that I see you’re starting to get over him, because you don’t seem to, really, dream about him, anymore. So, hopefully, you’ll be able to start falling for me, because I know for a fact, that I’ve been having both an emotional and physical attraction for you. But the reason, I’ve been afraid to give into it, is because I know you’ve been, greatly, hurt inside as a result of Brent, having died on you, jus when you two were going to get married.”

“What had, really, drawn me to you, that one night, when we had met over at a local bar, was the fact, that I had seduced you, jus because I had been so absorbed in my grief? That I jus had to learn on you for love, that, it, really, wasn’t there to begin with. At that time, I jus had hoped that you would be able to give me, some love.”

“So, what I understand, now, is that you, only, came to me, jus because you had, only, lost your past love, only a few weeks ago.”

Then, the two started touching each other all over, but they jus couldn’t get into making love, because she jus stirred up all that grief inside her, which she, still, was feeling over having lost Brent in her life. At that time, when she happened to get him to go to bed with her after they had left the bar, that one night, she had been in so much of a fog. That she hadn’t realized what she had gotten herself into in Mike’s bed, that one night.

So, now, Mike figured that their marriage was nothing jus fake and without love. And that one time, when the two jus met, she felt guilty, because she had used him in getting him to make love to her, what she figured was making love, but, actually, was jus touching and kissing that night.

What she has done was make a fool out of him through trying to get, whatever she could out of him jus to be comforted over her, having lost a lover in her life. And that night, she had wanted Mike’s comfort jus to soothe her inner being, in having been shaken in the loss of a man; she happened to love and had been engaged to.

One other night, while the two were lying on his bed, her, hopefully, trying to get something out of him, that night, she happened to catch herself, gazing over at a picture of Brent. However, since, Mike happened to notice, she wasn’t paying any attention to him, and jus staring at the picture, this aggravated him to the point. That he walked out of the house, leaving Anna on the bed in tears, enough tears to fill up a bucket.

What his wife, really, wanted was for the two of them, to try to do all they could to make their marriage stop from turning into an act of infidelity. The promises, which they had made during their wedding ceremony, were meant to be followed to a tee along with honoring the sanctity of marriage. If they were going to have a chance in their marriage going through, they had to always, learn to place their trust in each other before their marriage had any chance to fall.

Several hours later, Mike, still, hasn’t come back home, and it was becoming nighttime, already. So, since, he’s been gone all this time, she came to the conclusion, that she had made him mad at her, for acting so distant when they should be getting closer. Not until early the next morning, did she find him, rushing back inside the house.

All night long, she had had him on her mind, it seemed, and because she kept thinking of him, she couldn’t get her self to fall asleep much that night. But as he walked into the bedroom, where she had been sleeping a little, suddenly, she couldn’t believe what was happening between them, because their lips jus seemed to come, together, in a nice mushy kiss.

While he in a way was making her feel like a prisoner, she couldn’t seem to get free of his kissing overpowering her like this. Thinking, she’s so innocent-looking to him, he was drunk, acting so fierce with his touch, making her pulls back but not able to resist him, upon sensing he’s drunk.

The next morning, upon her, bumping into him, she jus walked outside, slamming the door. She jus couldn’t take any of him, right now, because anger has stirred up inside her enough to stir up a mouse. This happened because he was trying to play games with her. He pretended her to be the other woman, who he used to date before her. He tried to follow her, but she jus wouldn’t allow him to, being he was having a temper tantrum.

So, he, then, jus allowed her to go wherever she was heading. In the meanwhile, he walked back inside the house, and then, to his bedroom, not understanding what she was so mad about. He thought he, really, hadn’t done anything to upset her like this. But she had walked away from him, before he had a chance to ask her, what the matter was. He put some warm clothes, and dashed out the door like a road runner after a coyote, trying to get her to stop , because she could do harm to her baby, in charging off like she was doing.

As he happened to catch up with her, she was ignoring him. But he wanted to ask her forgiveness for whatever he had done to make her angry. The situation was that she didn’t like how he got himself, so drunk the night before. But he thought she was running away from him for what he had pulled on her.

How he needed and wanted her, though, he felt, as though, any feelings he has for her after these few months of being married, weren’t good feelings. He didn’t know how to deal with them. The first week, they settled into their new home, she didn’t leave him for another guy.

So, he figured she was trying to do her best in getting along with him. She even found a Navy doctor for her baby, and he was so glad, that she did, and was concerned about the well being of her unborn child. What, really, surprised he is that she got herself, a job.

But he couldn’t understand why she would bother getting now, because after all, she’s pregnant and in a few months, would have to stop working to take care of her baby. But she felt she needed something to do with herself. Mike was doing all he could, even though, he was the type, who didn’t talk much. He needed to start talking to her more to help his marriage, stay, together.

At least a turning point came around leaping like a leap frog. And the two were trying hard at overcoming any hurtful feelings for each other, concentrating on having a better friendship with each other to make their marriage, work. At least, he had been the forward one, who had brought up to her, that she should see a doctor, every month, for a checkup during her pregnancy, and once a week in the last month, even going with her to her appointments.

Mike has been hiding his feelings from her, although their marriage seemed a fake one to her that he was going to have to leave on deployment on a cruise on sea for a couple of months. So, she suddenly felt void of any feelings for him, because he was going to be gone awhile at sea because he was a sailor. But this didn’t seem to matter to Anna, because they had no love between them that she knew of.

She’d be facing having her baby with him in four months. So, she was worried about what she was going to do about this situation. And he was leaving in three days for his cruise at sea.

Then, when they left for her doctor appointment, she felt like she was an intruder out at bay as far as their marriage went long with him, being a stranger to her. She had a feeling; he didn’t want her as his wife, either. But she found something about this situation, holding her back from asking him why he didn’t tell her, he was leaving the base, soon, for the cruise at sea.

He did not wish to leave Anna alone. But he had no say about the matter whether he wanted to go or not. He cared for her because she was carrying his child, in a way; he has never cared for any other woman. He could sense, she was feeling hurt inside over him, having to leave, soon, to go to sea. He wanted to win her trust for him, like he has done for her.

And he has been trying to get her to go to bed with him. He’d wanted her for himself, ever since; they’d met that one night in Seattle. He’d never been in the enjoyment of physical delights with a woman before. But he never has had the opportunity, before her met her, to take a woman to bed with him.

At the doctor’s office, he found himself, sitting in the lobby while being worried about her health, because of the doctor, having ordered some more tests for her.

He’d didn’t like her, taking a 40 hour work week job when her health was so fragile.

She brought up to him, the fact; she needed to take her time in their marriage, that on her part, it needed some adjustment. But he didn’t want her working, because she was with baby, and thought she should use her time instead in working on her relationship with him, their marriage relationship.

At least, the two have been working on the give-and-take part of their marriage, which was helping their marriage a lot to go in the right direction. He was aware, jus because she had a hobby of making clothes for her baby. That this made him aware she, actually, had great love for her unborn baby when it was in having that maternal instinct in her.

For the baby and for Anna, he sure was having all the determination; it was going to take to make their marriage work. So, their marriage would survive the hardest times like when he had to go to sea. For one thing, he was letting go and not bothering him, now, was her love for Brent.

What, really, was making their marriage, was all these kisses, he would keep squeezing in whenever he felt, the timing for this, was jus right. Obviously, she wanted him to go out of his way, and not just act like there was a bond, thee, but more so of him, showing her, he had the pride and trust to be a husband to her.

But she walked away from him, and hid in the bedroom, because he was trying to hide. That he would be taking off to sea. So, she felt hurt over this situation, because her emotions were getting the best of her, driving her to tears in her bedroom, enough tears to fill up a bucket.

So, then, she went for her job interview. Because they wouldn’t give her, the job, because of her being with baby, she was convinced she never would find one.

She couldn’t seem to get Mike to tell her, he was leaving for the sea or even information about the two month cruise. She was doing all she could to get their marriage to stay, together. She, still, was an emotional wreck, because she knew, he was leaving for the sea. There’s not way, he could get out of it, either.

It cut like a knife through her heart, jus in knowing, he’d be leaving her, soon. Because the time was so short for them, being together, it wasn’t to be much longer, when he’d have to leave her for this cruise. He was feeling guilty, because he couldn’t take her along for a Poker game of his.

So, she wanted to break off with him, before their relationship turned any worse than it was, because there wasn’t enough communication ever between them. Since, he’d be leaving for sea, he didn’t want to tell her, he was, for fear, he’d get her into an emotional hassle. She brought his leaving her out into the open, because she was so angry at him. So, she started an argument with him.

“When are you, going to be leaving me for good?”

“So, that’s what’s been bugging you about me, going to sea.”

“Darn you, Mike, why have you left me in suspense all this time?”

“So, your friend can let you know all about this going to sea bit.”

“What, Mike, are you doing, trying to hide it all from me.”

In fury, she said, “Not, only, do you see me as your wife. But you never wanted to marry me to begin with. I don’t want this marriage any more than you do. I want out of this whole thing.”

Then, after getting her composure back, she said, “I never wanted you to know about me being with baby.”

Why he married, her, was because he wanted his son to grow up with him as its father. He was afraid that their marriage hadn’t any secure base on which to last. He, also, was afraid his marriage with her wouldn’t last, jus because none of his mother’s friends ever lasted long enough to be a father to him.

Anna tried to embrace Mike, but she pulled away, because she knew, he didn’t marry her for love.


















CHAPTER III


For one thing, he’s sensing how much pain, she’s, still, suffering from having lost Brent in her life. She had escaped to her room in tears over the situation. So, upon him, entering, the two needed each others’ touch. So, they succumbed to kisses, then, trying to get into making love. He felt more close to her, than all the time, they’ve been married.

So, she gave into him, completely, as they were trying to console each other. She wouldn’t allow him to make love, though, jus because he hadn’t let her know, earlier, that he was leaving for sea. She wouldn’t accept the fact, he was leaving either, and acted she never was going to see him, again. She felt void of any love for him.

The two went ahead as to make distance between them, that weekend. Neither one would as much touch each other, and spoke very little to each other. They went to extremes while Mike used one end of the house for camping, and she camped out at the other end.

As later on, the two said their goodbyes to each other, so void of emotion. What was she going to do all by herself, now, being he was leaving? Everything remained said and undone between them. So, jus after he closed her bedroom door, she found herself, crying so hard, that the tears jus rolled down her face. So, to her, it felt wrong for him to leave her for six weeks of duty.

So, she was, almost, drawn to rush out to him. But since, she tried to ignore him, the pain; it caused when though her heart like a knife. Into the training course, he felt he had done his share to ruin his marriage. If they kept up to their mistrusts and doubts of each other, they could end up splitting up. But they had to do something to insure their baby has a good life, and brought by a father and mother.

He missed Anna, but neither would admit their feelings to each other. He had to be more understanding and put her, first, in their marriage, after admitting all the blunders, he has made. After all, she was carrying his child. So, he has to excuse her for being so sensitive over different matters like in being married, was hard for her, because she hasn’t gotten over Brent, yet.

She has to learn to love Mike, and he ahs to do the same former. Even though, they have to allow each other to adjust to being married, and give themselves, some time to accomplish this. He has not ever lived with a woman before. So, he has to with her help, learn through her, teaching him, and giving him, some distance. So, he can find out how to act towards her. Jus the experience, he can earn through being married, should make him aware of what to expect from her, through allowing their relationship to grow. So, it will have to, naturally, happen over time.

She was having a hard time, adjust to what’s as new to her in living with a sailor on the Navy base. He’s a heavy drinker and has to make her, realize he likes to get, together, with his friends, every so often, to play cards for money.

But one thing about their marriage was they’ve become and developed an attraction for each other. This attraction, both physically and emotionally, has led them into making love and all the rest like kisses, which has held them, together, for months, ever since, that one night, when they had met at a bar in Seattle. This attraction has held proof jus through him, having gotten her knocked up.

What at sea, he kept dreaming of when he’ll get her in bed with him whenever he goes to bed at night, while feeling lonely for her.

He wasn’t going to force her into loving him or sleeping in his bed, or another night, making love until she was ready for it if they ever saw each other, again. If lived through these weeks at being at sea in a submarine, he vowed to himself, when he comes back to her, he’s going to work on his commitment to her and her baby after it was born.

When that time came, when he came back to Seattle, when his submarine docked, she was going to have a surprise homecoming celebration for him, because that afternoon, he’d be due to dock in a submarine. Filet mignon and seafood like crabs and shrimp and his favorite dessert, mousse, she was in the process of preparing for him, and almost, everything was done and ready to serve.

But one thing seemed to haunt her, and that she because lost for words on what to stay and tell him, like how much she missed him at sea. That she has fallen in love with him during those weeks while he’s been at sea.

Her baby at six months along in her pregnancy, was moving inside her as she could feel all the love, she has for her unborn baby like it was taking over her, leaving so much innocence to be share with Mike.

The submarine, already, has docked over at the pier. Anna was waiting at the gangplank for him, overanxious to see him after he’s been gone on a cruise at sea for which to her, has seemed like a long time. With her attention on him as he approached her, her heart felt like it was going to jump out of her chest.

But as he approached her, she felt a labor pain, coming on at, only, being not that far along in her pregnancy. As he walked onto the pier with his duffle bag, she, literally, ran into his arms with tears in her eyes and hugging him as snug as a teddy bear. As he kissed her, she was choked up for words as emotions dominated her whole being.

This happened to be the first time; anyone has ever greeted him over at the wharf. To him, the beauty of her seemed to swarm around him like bees on the way back to their house. She had surprised him in meeting over at the pier, because he hadn’t expected her to be back for him after the way, he had treaded her, other times, so roughly, like a pawn in a chess game.

He wanted to tell her, how he was feeling inside his heart. But he, also, was lost for words. He, actually, had been hungry for her love as his eyes had met hers in getting onto the pier.

Upon the two, entering their house, he noticed some additions to the place, like his own black leather lazy boy chair and bamboo furniture on the porch along with in her bedroom, a cradle for the baby along with an afghan blanket in the little crib. Also, there was a mobile above the crib along with some toys, blanket, and some baby clothes inside the tiny crib.

While he had been gone at sea, she had found herself a job for a few hours a week as legal assistant. He longed for her to give him, a son, although, he wouldn’t mind having a girl baby.

Then, she and Mike held each other as close as he was trying to see if he could feel the baby, kicking inside her. Jus knowing jus in seeing how she was caring for the baby, although, it hasn’t come into the world, yet, eh realized, they both loved each other. This happened, partly, because of her being with baby, had drawn them, closer, together.

Later on, he was thinking about approaching her about starting to sleep in his bed, together, being it was time to let her know, how he fell in love with her while he had been gone at sea. Also, he’d let her decide, when she was ready to make love.

She became silent, but he wad chattering to her about his days while at sea, and his job about his times while on the submarine. But after dinner, after her, then, did her part through asking questions, whenever one popped up in her mind. However, soon, she got up from her chair, and went right into her bedroom, because she was in pain. She wanted to lie down in her bed for while, and upon reaching her bed, she wanted to be in a world of silence, which has taken over her inner world.

Usually, he jus changed his clothes and took off with friends for the evening when coming back from being out at sea. But since, he felt he owed her some time, after him, being away at sea, he didn’t leave the house. He knew why she was in bed, he thought. He figured she was begging forgiveness for all the hurt, he had caused her through being off guard with his temper, and not watching the words, that came out of his mouth.

“But, maybe,” he thought, “she has gone to her bedroom, because he hasn’t let her know how much he missed her while being out at sea all this time. At this time, he didn’t know how to face her, because his whole being was caught up in world turmoil, not knowing how to get out of it. Anger was building up inside him along with a feeling of emptiness, which he thought was due to with love. But it couldn’t be because she, somehow, hasn’t been doing anything about her love for him, if any, she was hiding it all inside.

Then, in bumping into her inside her bedroom, he felt very bad inside as she’s in tears, afraid she’s losing her baby. So, he felt his heart being cut like a knife over possibly losing hi son, as he raced her over to the hospital. AS they were, she held onto her stomach, hoping she wouldn’t lose her baby, this way.

He knew, by the look on her face, a look of fear in her eyes; she was about to break down from her, gripping her inner world and getting a hold on her.

He arrived at the emergency entrance of the hospital, and as he carried her inside, he shouted out to a doctor, that she was having a miscarriage. Mike wanted this child, badly, but while at sea, had, only, been, mostly, concerned about their relationship.

Now, although, he never had seemed to have any emotion over the baby, it was different for him now. He was so emotional, his heart was going stir crazy, gripped by fear, not know why he felt this way. His mind and heart were surrounded with confusion. All he could do is pray for her, so, she doesn’t lose her baby. While waited for any word on her and her baby, he talked to God.

“Dear God, please don’t take this baby away from her. I promise to be a good husband to her, and a good father to her baby. Please, I’m begging you to take care of Anna and her baby, because I’m lost at what to do for hr, because right now, their lives are in the doctor’s hands. I can’t do anything, because I have no control over the situation. Please, don’t allow either Anna’s or her baby’s lives to be taken away from me.”

As the doctor approached him and told him, she and the baby were alright, right away, he thanked God for looking after them for him. He didn’t that being Anna had been convinced, she was losing her baby, and all the fear, this had created within her world, almost, smothered her to death. But she was gripped by all the pain in a world of terror.

So, finally, all that pain was gone, and she was feeling like a fool for giving him all this fear. She didn’t forgive herself, while back home, all the worry and fuss, she had created over thinking, and she had been having a miscarriage, which, only, turned out to be fake labor pains.

For one thing, she, still, was waiting for that time; he’d invited her into his bed. Somehow, she had to do something, like wearing something sexy, to convince him she wished to share his bed with him. But she had to be forward and to let him, know she wanted and needed him. And they haven’t done anything for each other. Ever since, he came back from being at sea. He, still, had to figure how he was going to get her to go to bed with him or ever share the same bed when sleeping.

The two, still, have been sleeping in separate bedrooms. And he didn’t think this would good for their marriage along with having a lack of communication between them. Neither would tell each other, their feelings most of them. She tended to display her feelings through crying, or she would bottle them up inside her upon going to her bedroom. And he tended to display his feelings through kissing and/or talking out in anger towards her.

Upon catching her in her bedroom, he admitted to her, he was going to have to go away, again. Also, he admitted, he would be around when the baby was born. While being out at sea, he’d have to wait it out to see the baby, because there’s no way, he could be, there, for hr to help her with her labor. So, she was going to have to have a friend of hers, be her partner in helping out as a coach.

Brent was gone from her life, and she used to love him. But being she’s married to Mike, for months, the love, she, once, had for Brent, was, finally, gone with the wind. So, she loved Mike and wouldn’t allow her feelings for Brent to interfere with their marriage. Although, Brent used to be so special to her, and, always, would because she couldn’t help thinking about him in her dreams. And this love, she, once, had for him, could be what’s stopping her from going to bed with Mike and sharing his bed, especially, in making love.

Jus because she’s afraid that her dad would suspect him, sharing a bed with her, and sleeping together, she went forward and asked Mike to sleep with her, that night, while they were over at her dad’s house, which took a few hours to get, there, for her and Mike. That night, he followed her to bed. But he jus lay, there, that night, waiting for her to make the first move over at her dad’s house, that night.

He, still, knew a part of her, still, loved Brent in a way, although he was dead and out of her life for good. But now in being in bed with her, he found it, really, hard to touch her, because something seemed to be holding him back, probably, because she has fallen asleep. Another thing was he had waited too long to lay down in bed with her. He, actually, feared her, bringing her body close to him, or bringing his body close to her.

He had entered the Navy right after graduation to get out a life of crime. He had been in the Navy and has worked himself up to a Navy chief.

He wished to hate Brent, for taking a part of her love. So, he couldn’t get her in bed because of this situation. Mike hated Brent for having taken her love for him to his grave. Also, Mike knew, he, Brent, who used to be her fiancé, had a part of her heart. He thought he should leave her, because he thought, she, still, loved Brent, but couldn’t do this to her, because she’s carrying his baby. He didn’t want to share with Brent, who’s dead, although, she loved him and expressed all her love to Mike. He though it had been wrong for him, to marry her jus because she, probably, loved Brent and Mike knew this was why she wouldn’t make love with him.

He needed her so much; it created a lot of fear inside him, because of being afraid of hurting the baby. So, he withdrew from her embrace and was afraid that touching her and keeping on kissing her, would get her into making love, only, after the baby was born. He’d promised her that he would love her, the way; a husband is bound to do for his wife after the baby’s born. He wanted to make love, but he was afraid, it’ll hurt the baby in some way.

So, he vowed to keep his distance from her. But that night, he slipped under the covers with her. He, only, though, has three more weeks until he leaves, again, out to sea, again, and intended to keep all physical attraction under control until he left to be out at sea, again, as a sailor.

In about a week, he would head out to sea. But even though, she allowed him to kiss and touch her, when were they to get into making love. What they did, physically and had for each other, emotionally, didn’t matter to him, because what good did it do for them to be married, when he had to keep taking off to sea.

She moved into his bedroom. But not, once, have they slept in that bed, together. She fell asleep so early that it didn’t do any good for her to wait up for him to make love o her, because she seemed to fall asleep before he was ready to lie down. Or he jus would hesitate and not go to bed with her, until she fell asleep on him.

They hadn’t as much cuddled up with each other, because he seemed afraid or jus didn’t know the right time to cuddle. Or he figured she didn’t want to be cuddled when she was asleep. Though, he tried his best to stick to his commitment to be a husband to her.

When they arrived over his friend’s house, to play cards, one night, his friends surprised her with a baby shower. Though, she became self-conscious at being the center of attention. But se received plenty of gifts that night for the baby.

Once home, with something sexy, she changed into, she tried to talk him into going to bed with her. Thought, it was like some thick fog around them, which he couldn’t seem to penetrate, because this seemed too unreal to him. To him, she was too innocent to go to bed with him. He jus didn’t know how he should react to her either. As she sat in his lap, she, gingerly, kissed and touched him all over.

But he didn’t want to make love, because he’d be missing all this when he was gone to sea, again. Because every time, he had to leave for the sea, he would keep wondering if he would ever see her, again. And if one time, it happened, that she fled away from him, there would be less pain in not missing her loving, if he never gave into her.

So, it seemed, every time, she tried to seduce him, he thought, the best way to react was to push her away from him, before he got to fell for her seducing and gave into his attraction to her. After all, he felt a responsibility to protect her child. So, he thought that making love, would harm the baby inside her, although, in pushing away from her, was causing him, all this pain inside his heart.

But she jus went into tears, each time, and got the idea, finally, she was too ugly of a woman for him to love and to make love to. But after all, he was going to after the baby was born. But she need and wanted his love, because of her deep attraction to him, and because she loved him a lot.

But all her crying was causing pain in his heart like a knife, was slicing through his heart. He couldn’t get her to understand, that making love when she was pregnant, could hurt her unborn child. He developed a hate for himself if he did. But he broke his promise, he has made to himself to have a commitment to her to be her husband and act like one.

Now, as he approached her in her bedroom, he started getting ready to make love. Even though, she didn’t want him touching her. Though, he was desperate for her love. It was like he was ready to get into an invasion concerning her love and his love. So, finally, she gave into his touch, because they both were on fire and heated up inside by now.

So, he, gently, made love to her for the first time, since, they’ve been married. He was experiencing all love and emotion for their child as he lay beside her. Her head cuddled onto his chest like it was a comforting pillow for her, as they were finished, making love.

He was thinking of all the regret, he would feel when the baby was born, because he’s going to be out at sea, then. All the panic of losing Anna when her baby was born brought all their fear and pain through him and made him, shake like a leaf. The baby was going to be born in the next two months, and he’d not be, there, to experience all the joy, that came with seeing his wife, having her baby.

She was a week from having her baby. But her friend, Lisa, promised to be her coach when she went into labor. Mike was out at sea, and has received two grams, that Anna and her unborn baby are doing great.

And the CO Jus delivered him, a message, that Anna’s baby has jus been born at ten pounds, a baby boy. He was so full of emotion, that he didn’t know how to handle all this, going into tears and so full of love, he couldn’t express any other way.

Anna’s friend thought that Anna was having the new mother blues as she was in tears over at a hospital room, enough tears to fill a bucket. She was sobbing over a card and flowers, Mike had sent her, with a message of, “I love you.” But it made her angry, because he never had the heart to tell her in words, that he loves her. The only time they made love was on the night of her baby shower. Mike had worried about leaving her, alone, before he left for the sea. But she didn’t like how he hadn’t made any effort to make love to her before he left for the sea, again.

Now, after his cruise at sea, Anna was holding her baby at five weeks old, waiting for Mike to catch her gaze as he arrived at the pier in a submarine at a wharf in the USS Pacific. As he approached her, her eyes were filled with tears of happiness. As he, then, held their son, he shouted out to her that he loved her. He was dumbfounded by her beauty. She had her figure back and he eyed her slim curves as he caught her gaze upon walking up beside her and her baby. Warmth filled his heart, as he took the baby into his arms in awe, because he never held a baby before in his life.

The need to be with her and the baby seemed to be overpowering his world and so overwhelming. Knew she wanted to make love. But he wanted to wait a few months until he was sure she was healed. So, she stormed out of the bedroom, slamming the doors behind her. She thought she was so attracted to him. So, then, she moved into the other bedroom. They, then, decided they would stay married and after a fight they had, and have three children.

CDC H1N1 FLU/ WHAT TO DO IF YOU GET FLU-LIKE SYMPTOMS

WHAT TO DO IF YOU GET FLU-LIKE SYMPTOMS

Background
The novel H1N1 flu virus is causing illness in infected persons in the United States and countries around the world. CDC expects that illnesses may continue for some time. As a result, you or people around you may become ill. If so, you need to recommend the symptoms and know what to do.

Symptoms
The symptoms of novel H1N1 flu virus in people are similar to the symptoms of seasonal flu and include fever, couch, sore throat, runny or stuffy nose, body aches, headache, chills, and fatigue. A significant number of people who have been infected with novel H1N1 flu virus also have reported diarrhea and vomiting. The high risk groups for novel H1N1 flu are not known at this time, but it's possible that they may be the same as for season influenza. People at higher risk of serious complications from seasonal flu include people 65 years and older, children younger than 5 years old, pregnant women, people of any age with chronic medical conditions (such as asthma, diabetes, and heart disease), and people who are immunosuppressive (e.g. taking immunosuppressive medications, infected with HIV).

Avoid Contact With Others
If you are sick, you may be ill for a week or longer. You should stay home and keep away from others as much as possible, including avoiding travel and not going to work or school, for at least 24 hours after your fever is gone except to get medical care or for other necessities. (Your fever should be gone without the use of fever-reducing medicine.) If you leave the house to seek medical care, wear a facemask, if available and tolerable, and cover your coughs and sneezes with a tissue. In general, you should avoid contact with other people as much as possible to keep from spreading your illness, especially people at increased risk of severe illness from influenza. With seasonal flu, people may be contagious from one day before they develop symptoms up to 7 days after they get sick. Children, especially younger children, might potentially be contagious for longer periods. People infected with the novel H1N1 are likely to have similar patterns of infectiousness as with seasonal flu.

Treatment is Available for Those Who Are Seriously Ill
It is expected that most people will recover without needing medical care.

If you have severe illness or you are at high risk for flu complications (http://www.cdc.gov/flu/about/disease/symptoms.htm), contact your health care provider or seek medical care. Your health care provider will determine whether flu testing or treatment is needed. Be aware that if the flu becomes widespread, less testing will be needed, so your health care provider may decide not to test for the flu virus. Antiviral drugs can be given to treat those who become seriously ill with influenza. These antiviral drugs are prescription medicines (pill, liquids, or an inhaler) with activity against influenza viruses, including novel H1N1 flu virus. These medications must be prescribed by a health care professional.

There are two influenza antiviral medications that are recommended for use against novel H1N1 flu. The drugs that are used for treating novel H1N1 flu are called oseltimivir (trade name Taiflu and zanamivir (Relenza. As the novel H1N1 flu spreads, these antiviral drugs may become in short supply. Therefore, the drugs may be given first to those people who have been hospitalized or are at high risk of severe illness from flu. The drugs work best if given within 2 days of becoming ill, but may be given later if illness is severe or for those at a high risk for complications.

Aspirin or aspirin-containing products (e.g. bismuth subsalicylate—Pepto Bismal) should not be administered to any confirmed or suspected case of novel influenza A (H1N1) virus infection aged 18 years old and younger due to the risk of Reye's syndtome. For relief of fever, other anti-pyretic medications are recommended such as acetaminophen or non steriodal anti-inflammatory drugs. For more information about Reye's syndrome, visit the National Institute of Health website (http://ww.ninds.hih.gov/disorders/reyes_syndrome.htm http://www.cdc.gov/h l n l gov/h 1 n 1 flu/sick.htm#linkPolicy#linkPolicy.

Check ingredient labels on over-the-counter cold and flu mediations to see if they contain aspirin.
Children 5 years of age and older and teenagers with the flu can take medicines without aspirin, such as acetaminophen (Tylenol and ibuprofen (Advil, Motrin, Nuprin), to relieve symptoms.
Children younger than 4 years of age should NOT be given over-the-counter cold medications without speaking with a health care provider.

Emergency Warning Signs
If you become ill and experience any of the following warning signs, seek emergency medical care.

In children, emergency warning signs that need urgent medical attention include:

Fast breathing or trouble breathing
Bluish or gray skin color
Not drinking enough fluids
Severe or persistent vomiting
Not waking up or not interacting
Being so irritable that the child does not want to be held
Flu-like symptoms improve but then return with fever and worse cough

In adults, emergency warning signs that need urgent medical attention include:

Difficulty breathing or shortness of breath
Pain or pressure in the chest or abdomen
Sudden dizziness
Confusion
Severe or persistent vomiting
Flu-like symptoms improve but then return with worse fever and cough

Protect Yourself, Your Family, and Community

Stay informed. Health officials will provide additional information as it becomes available. Visit the CDC H1N1 Flu website (http://www.cdc.gov/h 1 n 1 flu).
Cover your nose and mouth with a tissue when you cough or sneeze.
Alcohol-based hand cleaners*(h 1 n 1 flu/qa.htm#antibacterial) are also effective.

Avoid touching your eyes, nose, and mouth. Germs spread this way.
Try to avoid close contact with sick people.
If you are sick with a flu-like illness, stay home for at least 24 hours after your fever is gone except to get medical care or other necessities. (Your fever should be gone without the use of fever-reducing medicine.) Keep away from others as much as possible. This is to keep from making others sick, (guidance/exclusion.htm)).
If you are sick and sharing a common space with other household members in your home, wear a facemask, if available and tolerable, to help prevent spreading the virus to others. For more information, see the Interim recommendations for Facemask and Respirator Use (http://www.cdc.gov/h 1 n 1 flu/masks.htm).
Learn more about how to take care of someone who is ill in “Taking Care of a Sick Person in Your Home” (http://www.cdc.gov/h l n 1 flu/guidance_homecare.htm)
Follow public health advice regarding school closures, avoiding crowds, and other social distancing measures.
If you don't have one yet, consider developing a family emergency plan as a precaution. This should include storing a supply of extra food, medicines, and other essential supplies. Further information can be found in the “Flu Planning Checklist (http://www.pandemicflu.gov/plan/individual/checklist.htm)
(http://www.cdc.gov/ h 1 n 1 flu/sick.htm#linkPolicy#linkPolicy)”

Related MediationsCDC YouTube Video: Symptoms of Swine Flu (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0wK1127(HQ4&feature=channel_page)

Links to non-federal organizations are provided solely as a service to our users. These links do not constitute an endorsement of these organizations or their programs by CDC or the federal government, and none should be inferred. CDC is not responsible for the content of the individual organization Web pages found at these links.

Centers for Disease Control and Prevention 1600 Clifton
Rd. Atlanta, GA 30300, USA 800-CDC-INFO (800-232-4636) TTY: (888) 232-6348, 24 Hours/Every Day-cdccinfo@cdc.gov

http://www.cdc.gov/ h 1 n 1 flu/sick.htm

EXPOSURES NOT THOUGHT TO SPREAD NOVEL H1N1 FLU

NOVEL NIH1 (SWINE FLU) AND YOU

Novel H1H1 Flu

What is novel H1N1 (swine flu)?
Novel H1N1 (referred to as “swine flu” early on) is a new influenza virus causing illness in people. This new virus was first detected in people in the United States in April 2009. This virus is spreading from person-to-person worldwide, probably in much the same way that regular seasonal influenza viruses spread. On June 11, 2009, the World Healh Organization (http://www.who.int/csr/disease/swineflu'/en/index.html) signaled that a pandemic of novel H1N1 flu was underway.

Why is novel H1N1 virus sometimes called “swine flu”?
This virus was originally referred to as “swine flu” because laboratory testing showed that many of the genes in this new virus were very similar to influenza viruses that normally occur in pigs (swine) in North America. But further study has shown that this new virus is very different from what normally circulates in North American pigs. It has two genes from flu viruses that normally circulate in pigs in Europe and Asia and bird (avian) genes and human genes. Scientists call this a “quadruple reassortant” virus.

Novel H1N1 Flu in Humans

Are there human infections with novel H1N1 virus in the U.S.?
Yes. Human infections with the new H1N1 virus are ongoing in the United States. Most people who have become ill with this new virus have recovered without requiring medical treatment.
CDC routinely works with states to collect, compile and analyze information about influenza, and has done the same for the new H1N1 virus since the beginning of the outbreak. This information is presented in a weekly report, called FluView(flu/weekly/).

Is novel H1N1 virus contagious?
CDC has determined that novel H1N1 virus is contagious and is spreading from human to human.

How does novel H1N1 virus spread?
Spread of novel H1N1 virus is thought to occur in the same way that seasonal flu spreads. Flu viruses are spread mainly from person to person through coughing or sneezing by people with influenza. Sometimes people may become infected by touching something—such as a surface or object—with flu viruses on it and then touching their mouth or nose.

What are the signs and symptoms this virus in people?
The symptoms of novel H1N1 virus in people include fever, cough, sore throat, runny or stuffy nose, body aches, headache, chills and fatigue. A significant number of people who have been infected with this virus also have reported diarrhea and vomiting. Severe illnesses and death has occurred as a result of illness associated with this virus.

How severe is illness with novel N1H1 flu virus?
Illness with the new H1N1 virus has ranged from mild to severe. While most people who have been sick have recovered without needing medical treatment, hospitalizations and deaths from infection with this virus have occurred.

In seasonal flu, certain people are at “high risk” of serious complications. This includes people 65 or older, children younger than five years old, pregnant women, and people of any age with certain chronic medicals conditions. About 70 percent of people who have been hospitalized with this novel H1N1 virus have one or more medical conditions previously recognized as placing people at “high risk” of serious seasonal flu-related complications. This includes pregnancy, diabetes, heart disease, asthma, and kidney disease.

One thing that appears to be different from seasonal influenza is that adults older than 64 years do not yet appear to be at increased risk of novel H1N1-related complications thus far. CDC laboratories have shown that no children and very few adults younger than 60 years old have existing antibody to novel H1N1 flu virus; however, about one-third of adults older than 60 may have antibodies against this virus. It is unknown how much, if any, protection may be afforded against novel H1N1 flu by any existing antibody.


How does novel N1H1 flu compare to seasonal flu in terms of its severity and infection rates?
With seasonal flu, we know that seasons vary in terms of timing, duration and severity. Seasonal influenza can cause mild to severe illness, and at times can lead to death. Each year, in the United States, on average 36,000 people die from flu-related complications and more than 200,000 people people are hospitalized from flu-related causes. Of those hospitalized, 20,000 are younger than 5 years old. Over 90% of deaths and about 60 percent of hospitalization occur in people older than 65.

When the novel H1N1 outbreak was first detected in mid-April 2009, CDC began working with states toa collect, compile, and analyze information regarding the novel H1N1 flu outbreak, including the numbers of confirmed and probable cases and the ages of these people. The information analyzed by CBC supports the conclusion that novel N1H1 flu has caused greater disease burden in people younger than 25 years of age than older people. At this time, there are few cases and few deaths reported in people older than 64 years old, which is unusual when compared with seasonal flu. However, pregnancy and other previously recognized how risk medical conditions from seasonal flu appear to be associated with increased risk of complications from this novel N1H1. These underlying conditions include asthma, diabetes, suppressed immune systems, heart disease, kidney disease, neurocognitive and neuromuscular disorders and pregnancy.

How long can an affected person spread this virus to others?
People infected with seasonal and novel H1N1 shed virus and may be able to infect others from 1 day before getting sick 5 to 7 days after. This can be longer in some people, especially children and people with weakened immune systems and in people affected with the new H1N1 virus.

Prevention & Treatment

What can I do to protect myself from getting sick?
There is no vaccine available right now to protect against novel H1N1 virus. However, a novel H1N1 vaccine is currently in production and may be available for the public in the fall. As always, a vaccine will be available to protect against season influenza (http://www.cdc.gov/flu/protect/keyfacts.htm)
There are everyday actions that can help prevent the spread of germs that cause respiratory illnesses like influenza.

Take these steps to protect your health:

Cover your nose and mouth with a tissue when you cough or sneeze. Throw the tissue in the trash after you use it.
Wash your hands often with soap and water, especially after you cough or sneeze. Alcohol-based hand cleansers* (#antibacterial) are also effective.
Avoid touching your eyes, nose or mouth. Germs spread this way.
Try to avoid close contact with sick people.
If you are sick with flu-like illness, CDC recommends that you stay home for at least 24 hours after your fever is gone (h 1 n 1 flu/guidance/exclusion.htm except to get medical care or for other necessities. (Your fever should be gone without the use of a fever-reducing medicine). Keep away from others as much as possible to keep from making others sick.

Other important actions you can take are:


Follow public health advice regarding school closures, avoiding crowds and other social distance measures.
Be prepared in case you get sick and need to stay home for a week or so; a supply of over-the-counter medicines, alcohol-based hands rubs,* (#antibacterial) tissues and other related items might could be useful and help avoid the need to make trips out in public while you are sick and contagious

What is the best way to keep from spreading the virus through coughing and sneezing?
If you are sick with flu-like illness, CDC recommends that you stay home for at least 24 hours after your fever is gone (/h 1 n 1 flu/guidance/exclusion.htm) except to get medical care or for other necessities. (Your fever should be gone without the use of a fever-reducing medicine.)

Keep away from others as much as possible. Cover your mouth and nose with a tissue when coughing or sneezing. Put your used tissue in the waste basket. Then, clean your hands, and do so every time you cough or sneeze.

If I have a family member at home who is sick with novel N1H1 flu, should I go to work?
Employees who are well but who have a family member at home with novel H1N1 flu can go to work as usual. These employees should monitor their health every day, and take everyday precautions including washing their hands often with soap and water, especially after they cough or sneeze. Alcohol-based hand cleaners are also effective.* If they become ill, they should notify their supervisor and stay home. Employees who have an underlying medical condition or who are pregnant should call their health care provider for advice, because they might need to receive influenza antiviral drugs to prevent illness. For more information please see General Business and Workplace Guidance for the Prevention for Novel Influenza A (H1N1) Flu in Workers (h 1 n 1 flu/guidance/workplace.htm).

What is the best technique for washing my hands to avoid getting the flu?
Washing your hands often will help protect you from germs. Wash with soap and water or clean with alchohol-based hand cleaner* (#antibacterial). CDC recommends that when you wash your hands—with soap and warm water—that you wash for 15 to 20 seconds. When soap and water are not available, alcohol-based disposal hand wipes or gel sanitizers may be used. You can find them in most supermarkets and drugstores. If using gel, rub your hand until the gel is dry. The gel doesn't need water to work; the alcohol in it kills the germs on your hands.

What should I do if I get sick?
I you live in areas where people have been identified with novel H1N1 flu and become ill with influenza-like symptoms, including fever, body aches, runny or stuffy nose, sore throat, nausea, vomiting or diarrhea, you should stay home a nd avoid contact with other people. CDC recommends that you stay home for 24 hours after your fever is gone (h 1 n 1 flu/guidance/exclusion.htm) except to get medical care or for other necessities. (Your fever should be gone without the use of a fever-reducing medicine). Stay away from others as much as possible to keep from making others sick. Staying at home means that you should should not leave your home except to seek medical care. This means avoiding normal activities, including work, school, travel, shopping, social events, and public gatherings.

If you have severe illness or you are at high risk for flu complications, contact your health care provider or seek medical care. Your health care provider will determine whether flu testing or treatment is needed.

If you become ill and experience any of the following warning signs, seek emergency medical care.

In children, emergency warning signs that need urgent medical attention include:

Fast breathing or trouble breathing
Bluish or gray skin coloring
Not drinking enough fluids
Severe or persistent vomiting
Not waking up or not interacting
Being so irritable that the child does not want to be held
Flu-like symptoms improve but then return with fever and worse cough

In adults, emergency warning signs that need urgent medical attention include:

Difficulty breathing or shortness of breath
Pain or sudden pressure in the chest or abdomen
Sudden dizziness
Confusion
Severe or persistent vomiting
Flu-like symptoms improve but then return with fever and worse cough

Are there medicines in treat novel H1N1 infection?
Yes, CDC recommends the use of oseltamivir or zanamivir for the treatment and/or prevention of infection with novel H1N1 flu virus. Antiviral drugs are prescription medicines ( pills, liquid or an inhaled powder) that fight against the flu by keeping flu viruses from reproducing in your body. If you get sick, antiviral drugs can make your illness milder and make you feel better faster. They may also prevent serious flu complications. During the current pandemic, the priority use for influenza viral drugs (h 1 n 1 flu/recommendations.htm) is to treat severe influenza illness (for example hospitalized patients) and people who are sick who have a condition that places them at high risk for serious flu-related complications.

What is CDC's recommendations regarding “swine flu parties”?
“Swine flu parties” are flu parties during which people have close contact with a person who had novel N1H1 flu in order to become infected with the virus The intent of these parties is for a person to become infected with what for many people has been a mild disease, in the hope of having natural immunity novel H1N1 flu virus that might circulate later and cause more severe disease.
CDC does not recommend “swine flu parties” as a way to protect against novel N1H1 flu in the future. While the disease seen in the current novel N1H1 flu outbreak has been mild for many people, it has been severe and even fatal for others. There is no way to predict with certainty what the outcome will be for an individual or, equally important, for others to whom the intentionally infected person may spread the virus.

CDC recommends that people with novel H1N1 flu avoid contact with others as much as possible. If you are sick with flu-like illness, CDC recommends that you stay home for at least 24 hours after your fever is gone (h 1 n 1 flu/guidance/exclusion.htm) except to get medical care or for other necessities. (Your fever should be gone without the use of a fever-reducing medicine) Stay away from other as much as possible to keep from making others sice.

CONTAMINATION & CLEANING

How long can influenza virus remain on objects (such as books and doorknobs)?
Studies have shown that influenza virus can survive on environmental surfaces and can infect a person from 2 to 8 hours after being deposited on the surface.

What kills influenza virus?
Influenza virus is destroyed by heat (167-212 F [75-100 C]. In addition, several chemical germicides, including chlorine, hydrogen peroxide, detergents (soap) iodophors (iodine-based antiseptics) and alcohols are effective against human influenza viruses if used in proper concentration for a sufficient length of time. For example, wipes or gels with alcohol in them can be used to clean hands. The gels should be rubbed into hands until they are dry.

*What if soap and water are not available and alcohol-based products are not allowed in my facility?
Though the scientific evidence is not as extensive as that on hand washing and alcohol-based sanitzers, other sanitizers that do not contain alcohol may be useful for killing germs on hands.

What surfaces are most likely to be sources of contamination?
Germs can be spread when a person touches something that is contaminated with germs and then touches his or her eyes, nose, or mouth. Droplets from a cough or sneeze of an infected person move through the air. Germs can be spread when a person touches respiratory droplets from another person on a surface like a desk, for example, and then touches their own eyes, mouth or nose before washing their hands.

How should waste disposal be handled to prevent the spread of influenza virus?
To prevent the spread of influenza virus, it is recommended that tissues and other disposable items used by an infected person be thrown in the trash. Additionally, persons should wash their hands with soap and water after touching used tissues and similar waste.

What household cleaning should be done to prevent the spread of influenza virus?
To prevent the spread of influenza virus it is important to keep surfaces (especially bedside tables, surfaces in the bathroom, kitchen counters and toys for children) clean by wiping them down with a household disinfectant according to directions on the product label.

How should linens, eating utensils and dishes of persons infected with influenza virus be handled?
Linens, eating utensils, and dishes belonging to those who are sick do not need to be cleaned separately, but importantly these items should not be shared without washing thoroughly first. Linens (such as bed sheets and towels) should be washed by using household laundry soap and tumbled dry on a hot setting. Individuals should avoid “hugging” laundry prior to washing it to prevent contaminating themselves. Individuals should wash their hands with soap and water or alcohol-based hand rub immediately after handling dirty laundry.
Eating utensils should be washed either in a dishwasher or by hand with water and soap.

Exposures not thought to spread Novel H1N1 Flu

Can I get infected with novel H1N1 virus from eating or preparing pork?
No. Novel H1N1 viruses are not spread by food. You cannot get infected with novel H1N1 virus from eating pork or pork producrs. Eating properly handled and cooked pork products is safe.

Is there a rise from drinking water?
Tap water that has been treated by conventiional disinfection processes does not likely pose a risk for tranmission of influenza viruses. Current drinking water treatment regulations provide a high degree of protection from viruses. No research has been completed on the susceptibility of novel H1N1 flu virus to conventional drinking water treatment processes. However, recent studies have demonstrated that free chlorine levels typically used in drinking water treatment are adequate to inactivate highly pathogenic H5N1 avian influenza. It is likely that other influenza viruses such as novel H1N1 would also be similarly inactivated by chlorination. To date, there have been no documented cases of influenza caused by exposure to influenza-contaminated drinking water.

Can novel H1N1 flu virus be spread through water in swimming pools, spas, water parks, interactive fountains, and other treated recreational water venues?
Influenza viruses affect the human upper respiratory tract. There has never been a documented case of influenza virus associated with water exposure. Recreational water that has been treated at CDC recommended disinfectant levels does not likely pose a risk for transmission of influenza viruses. No research has been completed on the susceptibility of novel H1N1 influenza virus to chlorine and other disinfectants used in swimming pools, spas, water parks, interactive fountains, and other treated recreational venues. However, recent studies have demonstrated that free chlorine levels recommended by CDC (1-3 parts per million [ppm or mg/L] for pools and 2-5 ppm for spas) are adequate to disinfect avian influenza a (H5N1) virus. It is likely that other influenza viruses such as novel H1N1 virus would also be similarly disinfected by chlorine.

Can novel H1N1 influenza virus be spread at recreational water venues outside of the water?
Yes, recreational water venues are no different than any other group setting. The spread of of this novel H1N1 flu is thought to be happening in the same way that seasonal flu spreads. Flu viruses are spread mainly from person to person through coughing or sneezing of people with influenza. Sometimes people may become infected by touching something with flu viruses on it and then touching their mouth or nose.

Note: Much of the information in this document is based on studies and past experience with seasonal (human) influenza. CDC believes the information implies to novel H1N1 (swine) viruses as well, but studies on this virus are ongoing to learn more about its characteristics. This document will be updated as new information becomes available.

Http://www.cdc.gov/h 1 n 1 flu/qa.htm

CONTROLLING ANGER STRATEGIES

CONTROLLING ANGER STRATEGIES
Using Humor
“Silly humor” can help defuse rage in a number of ways. For one thing, it can help you get a more balanced perspective. When you get angry and call someone a name or refer to them in some imaginative phrase, stop and picture what that world would literally look like. If you’re at work and think of a coworker as a “dirt bag” or a “single cell life form,” for example, picture a large bag full of dirt (or amoeba) sitting at your colleague’s desk, talking on the phone, going to meetings.
Angry people tend to feel that they are morally right, that any blocking or changing of their plans an unbearable indignity an that they should NOT have to suffer this way. Maybe other people do, but not them!
When you feel that urge, picture yourself as a god or goddess, a supreme ruler, who owns the streets and stores and office space, striding alone and having your way in all situations while others defer to you. The more detail you can get into your imaginary scenes, the more chances you have to realize that maybe you are being unreasonable; you’ll also realize how unimportant the things you’re about really are.
Changing Your Environment
Sometimes it’s our immediate surroundings that give us cause for irritation and fury.
Give yourself a break. Make sure you have some “personal time” scheduled for the times of the day that you know you are particularly stressful. One example is the working mother who has a standing rule that when she comes home from work, for the 15 minutes “nobody talks to Mom unless the house is on fire.” After this brief quiet time, she feels better prepared to handle demands from her kids without blowing up at them.