CHERYL VERBEKE 4977 MEISNER
EAST CHINA TWP.,
MI. 48054
EMAIL-cherbear1950
@yahoo.com
ROCKY LOVE
CHAPTER I
While Mary Fenton, a head nurse over at and her boyfriend, Dr. Dave Nugent are on their shifts over at the Chicago County General, one day, Dr. Nugent has ended up losing his fellowship and he can’t get another one. So, he approached Mary and took her to the side to a supply room where no one is likely to find them. And as he locked the door behind him, the two jus stood there inside the supply room away from the door, so, no one would spot them inside that room.
So, Dr. Nugent caught her off guard, and he has loved her a lot for some time, he said to her, “Don’t how to say this any other way, my dear Mary. Have had you in my heart for as long as I can remember. But feel, that being I can’t get another fellowship…Well, what I’m trying to tell you, is that I’ve been thinking over this situation, lately. And can’t seem to find a job, elsewhere, close by. So, feel that I should just move out of the city. Have found a house in Seattle jus by the water.”
“You’re not trying break away from me, are you? Love you with all my heart. And have been in love with you for a couple of years. But can’t understand jus why you backed out on me. And broke your promise to marry me.”
“No, my dear, found a new home because my desire is to take you with me to Seattle. Thought, you would jus love living with me by the water. Also, have no choice, but to move because all the major hospitals in Chicago have been checked out. And can’t even find one hospital that will take me on as a doctor. So, want you to come with me to Seattle.”
“But, Dave, can’t jus leave my job. Have, finally, been accepted in med school. Also, am well settled where I’m living at the present. It’s not that I don’t love you with all my heart. It’s, mostly, that all of the staff at this hospital like my work. And if I move to Seattle, might not ever be able to find a head nurse job.”
Jus because she wouldn’t speak another word to him, he, then, left the supply room. And she couldn’t face anybody else, so, she jus stayed inside the room for about a half hour. And while there, jus couldn’t help going into tears.
Finally Dr. Korvac, a new doctor on staff, happened to come by the supply room to get some supplies, he needed. And as he couldn’t help bumping into her, he said to her, “Are you alright? Your face is red like you’ve been crying.”
“No, I’m not. Dr. Nugent and I jus had a serious talk. And jus because he’s in a situation, that the hospital head doesn’t want him working here at this hospital anymore, he’s moving to Seattle jus because he hasn’t been able to find another job as a doctor anywhere else in Chicago. Also, at the last minute, he wants me to move there with him being he’s found a house there on the water. And figured he could talk me into living with him at his new house.”
“So, I grab, that you’re not going to move to Seattle with him, after all. Why don’t you? Can, always, find another head nurse job there. It’s not that those kinds of jobs are scarce. There’s, always, a demand there in Seattle at the hospitals for head nurses.”
“Even though, there is, can’t jus get up, and leave my job here at the hospital. Have been here for many years, and have been lucky to have been able to work myself up as a head nurse through experience. And can’t jus throw my job and seniority down the drain. Also, have been getting good raises on my job, and have a part-time job at running the clinic. So, even though, I love Dave, feel I have to stay here.”
“Try to put the situation out of sight and out of mind for now. How about going out to dinner with me tonight over at Doc Magoo’s? Don’t have any plans with Dave before he leaves Chicago, do you?”
“No, in fact, I don’t. Didn’t even ask me about going out on any date, tonight? All that seems to be on his mind, lately, is getting away from his job here at the hospital, mostly, because he never liked the way, any of the staff has ever treated him. As a doctor, always, thought, that when taking care of a patient of his in pediatrics that things, always, have to be done his way. Also, he has, always, figured, he never has had to consult any of the staff when any treatment or procedure to be done on a patient, ever is in question.”
“What you’re trying to tell me, then, is that he, always, thought, he jus could go ahead, and breaks any hospital policy as he saw to it. And that’s why the hospital head won’t offer him, another fellowship, jus because Dr. David Lovell never liked his work in the first place.”
“That’s, exactly, what I’ve been trying to get at.”
“So, if you decide, you would like to go out to the restaurant across the street after your shift, let me know?”
“Okay, thanks for asking me out on a date. I’ll take you up on the offer.”
“Jus meet me over at Doc Magoo’s, then, about let’s say, nine o’clock for a couple of drinks. See you then.”
So, then, the attending physician, Dr. Paul Harrison approached her jus as she was making her way to the desk. And while she is, Dr. Korvac was paged by him to take on a female patient, who’s complaining of bad headaches. So, as she met Dr. Harrison at the desk, he, first, said to her, “You look, as though, you’re upset over something. What’s the matter?”
“It’s nothing that I can change. All of a sudden, Dave approached me in the supply room, not long ago, and wants me to move with him to move with him to Seattle. Jus because he doesn’t like his job her, any longer; he bought a house there, and wants me to move with him.”
“Well, are you going to jus quit your job, and go with him?”
“No, Dr. Harrison, I’m not. That’s what I told him. He thinks, that I can jus go with him, and leave my job as a head nurse. What I think, is that he jus never cared enough about me in the first place.”
“You’re jus going to have to try to adjust to the fact that he’s leaving you. It’ll take some time to get over. Life jus has to go on. Can’ jus throw your life away, jus because someone, you thought, loved you very much, wants to break up with you. That’s the way, it appears to be anyways.”
“I was going to give you, the chart on a case of a young woman, who’s having a lot of pain in her left side. But don’t worry about it. I’ll take the case for you. You need a break. Go get yourself something to eat before this place starts to overflow with emergency cases.”
So, Mary took a walk to the cafeteria, and as she arrived there, she wasn’t that hungry for dinner, so she jus walked over to the salad aisle. And jus got herself, a chef salad with low calorie dressing and a smoothie. And after she had her salad, she, then, walked to the main desk.
As Mary reached the main, upon checking her watch, she noticed that it’s getting to close to the end of her shift. And as she’s ready to leave, she’s paged by the physician attendant, so, he jus happens to bump into her at the main desk.
So, he said to her, “I’ve been tied up with three cases, all of a sudden, so, why don’t you check on the woman in Exam one? She’s the one who’s been complaining of pain on her side, and in the meanwhile, have ordered some blood tests to rule out appendicitis, and any kidney problems. But they all came back negative, so, go check on her again, and if her pain becomes worse, be sure the patient gets checked out for pelvic inflammatory disease, and an entopic pregnancy.”
Then, Mary walked into Exam One, and the patient, there, was crunched up in pain, all of a sudden, so, immediately, paged Dr. Harrison. Upon him, coming into Exam one again, Mary said to him, “Overheard her, screaming out in pain. Suspect a possible entopic pregnancy.”
So, Dr. Harrison, said to her, “Stay with her, and immediately administer two hundred milligrams morphine to her. She’s, definitely, a surgery case. I’ll page the chief surgeon, Dr. Miguel, and his assistant, Dr. Hefner. She’s needs surgery right away, or her ovary can burst, and kill her, instantly.”
Upon Dr. Harrison paging the chief surgeon and his assistant, they came running into Exam One where Mary had to strap the patient down being she’s in so much pain, that she, almost, jumped out of bed.
So, Mary along with chief surgeon and his assistant, grabbed onto the bed, and, ran across the hall into the surgery room. And while Dr. Harrison, Dr. Miguel, and Dr. Hefner were scrubbing up, Mary, immediately, page the anesthesiologist, and he ran into the surgery room, and administered gas to the patient. And only a couple of minutes later, the physician attendant along with the two other surgeons, along with a medical student didn’t waste any time getting right into the surgery room.
As Mary left the surgery room, and walked right over to the main desk to take up another case, suddenly, some nausea gripped her, and she had to sit down at the main desk. The nurse chief said to her being she’s right at the desk, “Mary, you don’t look good. What’s the matter?”
“All of a sudden, a wave of nausea came over me.”
“Think, you should go lay down in the lounge for now. I’ll have someone else take on your case when she gets out of surgery. Don’t worry about emergency being overloaded with cases. If we do, I call in a couple of doctors for the midnight shift in earlier. Okay, go get some rest. You might have come down with a bug.”
So, Mary took the elevator down to the first floor. As she arrived there, she ran into Dr. Korvac. His shift jus ended, and he looked for her in the cafeteria, and as couldn’t find her, he’s, also, heading towards the lounge.
Dr. Korvac said to her, “Did you forget that we had a date, tonight??
“No, I didn’t. It’s jus that I have been tied up with an emergency case of a woman being suspected of having an entopic pregnancy. And right now, she’s in surgery. So, jus as the nurse chief was going to hand another case over to me, all of a sudden, I became nauseated. So, she told me to go to the lounge.”
“You’ve been getting like this, often. Don’t you think you should have a pregnancy test? Did you skip a month?”
“Yes, I did. But I didn’t think anything of it at first. Thought, I jus is going through an early menopause.”
“No, don’t think so. Jus take my advice, and get one done as soon as possible. Are feeling like a date, tonight, or do you want to wait to another night?”
“Guess I’m feeling better now.”
”Okay, come with me. Let’s check out, and go on this date. Your shift is over, anyways.”
So, after checking out, the two walked across the street to Doc Magoo’s. Once, inside, the two sat down at the bar. But, since, Dr. Korvac suspected a possible pregnancy; she didn’t want to order any alcoholic drinks. So, she jus ordered sparkling water while he ordered a cocktail.
And after the two got their drinks, she didn’t know from where the energy’s coming, but she felt like dancing, since, the disc jockey jus put on some slow music. So, Dr. Korvac said to Mary, “Your face, suddenly, is appearing very peppy-looking. Are you in the mood for any dancing, tonight, or are you too tired from working, tonight?”
“Feel like some dancing, tonight. I’ll take you up on it.”
So, she couldn’t figure out why, but as soon as he got her on the dance floor, she, suddenly, felt very comfortable, dancing with him.
The next morning, as soon as Mary arrived over at the hospital, she, still, had time before her shift began. She’s surprised, not to see Dave Nugent at the hospital as he’s, usually, there, by now for his shift. So, she knew, he had left that morning for Seattle, and he never let her know, that he’s leaving so soon for Seattle. But she didn’t seem to miss him yet.
Once, at the main desk, she found out, she’s not needed for any early cases, so, she found one of the nurses who are not busy yet. So, she said to the nurse, “Have skipped a month, so, I’m here, early, to get a pregnancy test done.”
“So, Nurse Marilyn said to her, “Jus follow me. Will take you to Exam One. That room is empty.”
As they arrived inside the room, Mary sat down on a bed in that room, and Marilyn took some blood from her. Then, she went and had it, examined. A few minutes later, she came back, and said to Mary, “Have some good news for you. You’re two months along in your pregnancy the test showed two cells present, so, you’re, definitely, pregnant with twins.”
CHAPTER II
Mary thought, one night on the way home, “Jus can’t believe this. Here Dave jus left for Seattle. Now, have to face the fact. When these twins are born, they could end up without a father.”
Mary’s, still, excited over having twins being that she due to have them about seven months.
She’s so happy, she’s pregnant, that once, she ran into Dr. Korvac at the desk, she said to him, “Guess what, Dr. Korvac, I’ve just found out, that I’m pregnant with twins.”
“Boy, that’s a surprise. What a time to find out when Dave has jus left for Seattle. Are you going to call him, and tell him about it?”
“No, I’ve got to get used to the fact, that I’m pregnant, first. Don’t think, I’ll tell him about it right away. Want to wait a few months. Don’t know how he’ll react to it, if I let him know right away. Want to wait to hear from him, first. I must find out, if he, really, still, cares about me.”
“Well, the attending physician jus paged me. Must go, and take care of a woman who’s complaining of bad headaches, and vomiting. Sounds like it could be a real serious case; I’ve got on my hands. See you later.”
“Jus have been paged for a case of a woman, complaining of nausea and extreme fatigue. I must get to my case too.”
That evening around eight o’clock, Mary was resting at the desk, answering phones for the chief nurse. As she is, she gets paged for what she thinks, is an emergency case. And during the page, she is jus walking over to Exam One, and the woman’s case she had before is in question. A nurse jus told her, that the woman’s nausea and extreme are accompanied by more symptoms.
But jus as she walks into the exam room, all the nurses are there, and they yell out, “Surprise, Mary, and baby shower time.”
She has a surprised look on her face as she said to all the nurses, “Oh boy. I didn’t expect a baby shower soon. How did you all know I was pregnant? I know, Dr. Korvac must have told everyone all about me, going to have twins.”
Then, one of the nurses said to her, “Go ahead. Open the biggest package, first. It’s something, you, really, will like.”
So, with a big smile on her face, Mary opened the first package, very eagerly, and just after opening it up, she said, “Oh no, you woman didn’t have to do this. Oh my, something for the twins in which they can be rocked after they’re born. This is so cute, it’s, almost, as big as a baby carriage.”
“Okay,” said one of the nurses, now open up the rest of the packages. Most of the smaller packages were baby outfits, and Mary, also, received some rattles, and a baby mobile for the white wooden crib which she, also, received during her baby shower. Then, right after she opened all the baby packages, the last contained a bottle of sparkling water.
“Now, know you have something else up your sleeves.”
“Yes,” said one of the nurses, “we all would like to have a special toast in honor of you, going to have twins one of these days. First, how far along are you?”
“About two months. And, already, I’m starting to feel like a blimp. And I’m not even that far along in my pregnancy yet.”
”Now,” said a nurse to the other nurses and Mary, as she poured a glass of sparkling water for everyone at the Mary’s surprise baby shower.
Then, she said to all the nurses and Mary, “Okay, everyone rise up your glasses of sparkling water, and clink them together. This is in honor of Mary, going to have twins in about seven months. Everyone drink up. By the way, Mary, I bought this sparking water jus for you because we aware, that having alcohol during your pregnancy is bad for the baby and, also, can cause low birth weight and other abnormalities.”
So, after Mary’s baby shower, being it’s time for her shift to end, a nurse paged Dr. Korvac into the conference room. And it’s a good thing that he isn’t tied up with a patient because Mary needed his help to carry the big presents out to Mary’s blue Chevy truck.
And after the nurses carried the smaller presents out, and put them in her truck, then, Dr. Korvac, along with the attending physician, carried the baby carriage into Dr. Korvac’s truck.
Then, from the hospital, Dr. Korvac jus followed Mary all the way to her apartment. And once there, as the two got out of their trucks, he said to her, “Don’t bother to carry any of the big stuff inside. Will do it all for you.”
So, once, all the presents were inside her apartment, Dr. Korvac, even, stayed over a little extra time to set up an extra bedroom with the crib and other baby things. He even set up the baby mobile inside the crib as she’s going to have her babies any time now. Then, as soon as he’s done, he has to get going as it’s getting a bit late, and she has to get her sleep, and so does he as they both have to get up for work tomorrow.
So, Dr. Korvac said to her, “Okay, Mary, have to get going, and get home. Live, at least, a half hour from her if not more. Goodbye will see you tomorrow at the hospital.”
“Goodbye, Dr. Korvac,” she said to him, “Don’t mind me, calling you by your professional name as I, really, don’t know you that well, yet.”
So, jus before he went out the door, he took her hand, and kissed it. This, really, surprised because she didn’t, that he liked her. She thought as she got ready to hit the sack.
“Maybe, he’s jus trying to be nice to me because he knows; I’ve been feeling quite lonely without Dave in my life. Or maybe, he, really, has taken a liking to me. Seems like a very nice and polite guy. If Dave never comes back into my life, maybe, one of these days, Dr. Korvac and I will end up into a relationship.”
About a couple of months later, when Mary jus arrived over at the hospital for her shift, Dr. Korvac jus arrived there, himself. And as he walked up to her, he said to her, “How are you doing, dear Mary? Have you heard anything from Dave? Has he called you?”
“He’s, at least, been sending me letters, every month, letting me know how he’s doing over in Seattle. Jus loves living on the water and going fishing in his boat. Also, he, at least, tells me in his letters, that he’s been thinking of me. So, guess, it means, he, still, cares about me.”
“The mailman must have been here, earlier than usual. Here, found this on the main desk. It’s a package for you.”
As she took the package from him, she said to him, “Can’t believe it. This card on the package has his name on it. It says, ‘To my love. Miss you. Still, love you. Wish you would change your mind. And move to Seattle with me;’ then, she said upon opening the package, “It’s beautiful. It’s a stuffed toy dog of a black and white color, and its eyes look so real. I wonder why, he would send me, a stuffed toy.”
As she took it out of its box, as she pressed its stomach, it played the song, “Broken Wings”. Jus could listen to its music all day and all night long. It, really, touches my heart,” she said close to tears. Then, she put it back in its box, and walked over to her locker and placed the stuffed toy inside it.
Then, she said to herself, “I guess, I’d better give him, a call. But that won’t work because I don’t have his phone number. When I’ve got a chance, I’ll write him a letter. And let him know, I’m pregnant, and also, am sure, he would like to know how the twins are doing.”
Then, as she walked up to the front desk, the attending physician came up to her, and said to her, “Have you heard from Dave, recently?”
She said to him with a look of awe on her face, “In fact, I have. I had the surprise of my life, today. Dave sent me a black and white stuffed toy dog. It plays the song, ‘Broken Wings’. Also, I’ve been receiving a letter from him, at least, once a month. And every so often, he calls over here at the hospital. But never seem to get the call. Whoever answers the phone, must not think, that his calls are all that important.”
Then, he said to her as he handed her, a chart, her first case of the day, “Here, this guy has been complaining of headaches and backaches. Want you to take this case over for me, and get him taken for a head CT. Want to rule out meningitis or sinitis.”
Three months, later, Mary’s on her way to the hospital on the el, because she’s having her car fixed being that she’s been having trouble with the gas pedal.
And Dr. Korvac jus happened to be sitting in the same car beside her when, all of a sudden, he overheard her, saying to herself, “Oh no, can’t believe it. I’m not due for another two months yet. And already, can feel the contractions coming on.”
He said to her, “Do you have any idea about how far apart the contractions are?”
She said to him, “Yes, about five minutes?”
“Okay, jus try your best to relax. Are you sure, you can make it to the hospital, or should we get off at the next stop? If we do, we can, always, get a cab, quickly, as there are many cab drivers in Chicago.”
“No, I don’t think, I’ll be able to wait that long. The contractions are coming on pretty strongly.”
“Okay, will tell you, what I’ll do. There’s a store jus around the corner. Jus get off on the next stop with me. And from there, I’ll call an ambulance for you. It’ll be there in no time from Chicago County General.”
“Let’s do that then. Surely, don’t want to have my twins, right here, in the el.”
So, as soon as the next stop came around, Dr. Korvac pulled the cord, and helped Mary out of the el. And then, as they approached the store, there’s a bench jus outside the place. So, he has her wait there, since, she can’t walk into the store.
So, he said to her jus before going over to a pay phone, nearby. “Jus try to keep taking deep breaths, it’ll help the pain. I’ll be right back.”
So, as soon as he called an ambulance over to the store from Chicago County General, he, then, walked back over to where Mary is sitting, trying to keep track of how many minutes apart, her contractions are. And in no time at all, the ambulance is there, and jus as the paramedics come out of the ambulance, Dr. Korvac said to one of them.
“This woman over here on the bench is going into labor, and her contractions are getting very close together. Hope she makes it in time to the hospital and over to the OR.”
So, along with Dr. Korvac’s help, Mary is put onto a gurney, and wheeled into the ambulance. As the ambulance is on its way to the hospital, Dr. Korvac watches over Mary.
And, since, he has taken Lamaze before, one time, when he was married, a few years ago, and jus before his ex-wife had their only child, a boy, Dr. Korvac’s staying at Mary’s side. He’s doing his best in trying to coach her breathing.
As they arrived at the emergency entrance of Chicago County General, the paramedics, quickly, wheeled the gurney out of the ambulance. And then, with Dr. Korvac following the paramedics through the emergency entrance, once, they arrived at the main desk, Dr. Korvac said to the attending physician, who’s standing near the front desk, “Mary has gone into labor. She’s about to have her twins right here if we don’t hurry, and get her to OR.”
So, the paramedics left, and the attending physician along with Dr. Korvac, quickly, wheeled Mary down the hall to the OR. And once, they arrived at OR, and got Mary inside that room, Dr. Korvac stayed at her side, while the attending physician paged another nurse, who, usually, helps out on the deliveries. Also, once, the nurse opened her bag, she, quickly, got out the necessary supplies for delivering babies.
While she is, Dr. Korvac assures her, “Mary is about to have twins. So, you should know that I’m willing to stay right here in the OR to help her along until both babies are delivered. I know how to cue her in her breathing, because I’ve taken Lamaze. So, nurse, let me know when you’re ready to shave her, and anything else, that needs to be done. Then, I’ll come back inside OR, and help Mary through both of her deliveries.”
But the nurse wanted to be nice to Dr. Korvac, so she jus said to him, “Jus stand behind her bed, and keep reminding her to do her deep breathing because these will be her first babies. Also, she might end up being in labor quite a few hours being that she’ll be having twins.”
So, that’s what he did, and during Mary’s first labor, she had a hard time taking the pain. So, she ended up yelling out to Dr. Korvac, “What are you trying to do to me? Come on, you can do better than that. If you’re not going to stay beside me, and take my hand, you might as well leave.”
Then, she started giving him, every name under the sun. But he wouldn’t leave her, trying to go at her labor alone. So, he reassured her, “Know the pain’s getting unbearable for you. Would you like an epidural? It’ll kill the pain, but then, you’ll be able to stay awake during the delivery of both of your twins.”
“Okay, Dr. Korvac, hope you don’t mind me, screaming bloody murder. Am jus getting out of control because I’m not used to having babies. Come on, doctor, get a move on. Get that nurse on the ball. If you don’t, I’ll ask you to leave the room.”
So, he administered the epidural, himself, and in about fifteen minutes, she started to simmer down. And he hoped she would stay that way. But he knew, it’s unlikely, she could throughout her labor.
“Okay,” said the nurse to Mary, “Your first baby’s ready to come out. Use all your energy, and push the baby out.”
So, she tried hard to push, and in no time at all, she could hear some crying. So, she knew, the first one was out in its new world. But jus as the nurse handed the baby over to another nurse; it seemed to Mary, that it wasn’t long until she’s in labor again.
This time, Dr. Korvac couldn’t bear her, screaming any longer. So, before he lost control of himself, he said to the nurse, “Please get another nurse in here to help Mary out in her breathing. I can’t take any more of this.”
So, the nurse got another nurse into OR on the double. And, even though, Mary kept screaming and crying throughout the whole labor, she’s able to endure it. If it wasn’t for her, having a lot of patience, and being able to cue Mary in on her deep breathing, she, probably, would have left OR before the delivery of her second twin.
When it came time for Mary’s other twin girl to come out, the nurse told her, “Come on, Mary, you can do it. Put your whole self into it. Jus keep trying to push. The baby will be out in no time at all.”
Even though, she pushed as hard as she could, she became listless. So, this became a tough labor for her because she couldn’t be given another epidural. If she had, she would have lost all feeling, and would have ended up, having a Caesarian section.
Jus as it’s time for the baby to come out into the world, she yelled out, “Hey, you nurses can’t stand you being around me anymore. Why don’t you jus leave? If you don’t, I’ll jump out of bed, so, my baby can come out.”
This, really, got the nurses mad, and one of them, strapped her down. So, finally, as she tried one more to give it all she had, the last twin, finally, came out, and crying. At this point, Mary’s sweating like a dog, but so happy, that many tears are rolling down her face.
As Mary’s holding her twin girls, one in each arm, she’s ecstatic. Also, she’s eager to get into breastfeeding, and learning how to take care of her twins. Right away Mary learned to breastfeed and burps her twin girls, Lisa and Lindy.
And, once, she’s released from the hospital, Dr. Korvac drove her back home to her apartment.
So, the first night, he stopped over at her apartment, she blurted out to him as he walked inside, “Hey, Dr. Korvac, whatever you do, if you ever get to talk to Dave, don’t tell him, how you’re looking over my shoulder. He might jus get jealous.”
And every night when he came off his shift, he would stop over at her apartment, and help her out with her babies until she got used to taking care of the twins. It turned to be a big job for her, but she took, at least, two months off jus so that she could get the hang of having twins.
One night when Dr. Korvac was over her apartment, watching the twins for her, jus before she’s going to try to get a few hours rest, she decided, it’s time, that Dave finds out about her, jus having her twins. That’s, even though, one of her letters, she told him about her pregnancy. Also, whenever she felt like it, she had let him, know how her pregnancy had been coming along.
So, since, he had given her, his phone number in one of his letters along with sending her the stuffed toy, when she called him, she said to him with surprised voice, “Hi Dave, have been missing you a lot. Have you on my mind every day and night. I’ve got some good news for you. I spent, almost, twelve hours in labor in delivering my babies. But I’ve jus had twin girls, and named them, Lindy and Lisa.”
Dave, really, didn’t say much to her, that night, being that upon hearing the good news about the twins, he became choked up. But he managed to get some words out.
He said to her, “I’m very happy for you, my darling. But don’t forget, I, still, love you. And, ever since, I’ve moved to Seattle, have been missing you. So, if you ever change your mind, I’ll, always, be waiting for you.”
Neither one could say anything more, so, Mary jus said goodbye to Dave.
One time, he sent her, some things for the twins, two colorful rattles, two nipples for teething, along with a case of baby food along with a letter.
And in response to his letter, she wrote, “Maybe some day when the twins get older, I’ll come to Seattle. But haven’t decided whether I’ll go there to live with you being that I haven’t found anybody, who will take care of the twins for me. And don’t know if I could ever have the heart to give them up for adoption. Think that would be too much for me to take. Also, it’s because you’re the father of these babies.”
After Mary went back to work, she had to take the twins with her, and put them in the nursery while she’s on shift. And she’s aware, that Dr. Korvac has fallen for her, but she didn’t know what else to do. It’s getting too much for her to try to take care of her twins, and go on her shift as a head nurse. Also, the twins were a year old.
So, one day when Mary’s on shift, and jus got through taking care of a patient of hers, she decided, that this was it. That she had to start taking charge of her life, even if it meant giving up the care of her twins to someone else. But on second thought, she didn’t want to abandon the twins either because the last thing, she wanted, was to have the twins grow up without their real mother.
So, when she bumped into Dr. Korvac, that day, after taking care of a patient who was dehydrated, and had to be given an IV for a few hours, she’s aware, that he likes her a lot.
So, she said to him, “Have this feeling inside me, lately, that being Dave has been sending me, all these letters, I’ve got to find out if he, really, loves me a lot. Also, have this gut feeling inside, that he and I are made for each other. Don’t worry; jus know you’ll find someone else. Know you’ll miss me, but some day, your right one will come along. So, it has been nice knowing you.”
Right after kissing him, goodbye, she grabbed her things out of her locker, and, then, had to rush like crazy. So, she walked back to the room where he happened to jus be finished with his patient. So, she said to him, “Would you mind going down to the nursery to get the twins for me? Want to catch the next plane Seattle.”
So, he said to her, “Yes, will be more than glad to help you out. Jus wait for me in the lobby. Sit tight. I’ll be right there as soon as I can.”
Then, he rushed down to the first floor with her. And they took the stairs because they are faster than waiting for an elevator. So, as soon as Mary and Dr. Korvac reached the first floor, he hurried over to the nursery, half running while she walked down the hall over to the lobby.
As she reached the lobby, she thought, “Boy, jus can’t wait to see Dave. Bet he’ll be very surprised to see me again. Probably, has been waiting, very faithfully for this day to come. Know he’s anxious to see the twins. After all he’s their father.”
In no time at all, Dr. Korvac walked into the lobby with the twins. Then, he said to her in an anxious voice, “Would you like a ride to the airport? My shift is finished for the day. I’m not needed in emergency anymore right now. So, I can leave.”
So, she replied, “That would be a big help to me. In fact, would like to catch the next flight if at all possible. The weather is nice, so, there shouldn’t be any flight delay, today.”
Dr. Korvac grabbed both of the twins for her, and gave handed them over to a nurse who’s ready to leave because her shift is over. So, while she fed the twins, their bottles, Mary waited with her jus inside the hospital. In the meantime, Dr. Korvac walked over to his red Chevy truck, and met Mary at the hospital entrance.
Jus after Mary said to the nurse, “Tell the chief nurse to announce, that I’ve quit my job, so that I can be with Dave again.”
And she replied, “Everyone on the staff is going to miss you. Hope you made the right decision to leave your job. But I’m sure, that Dave wants you back in his life. Bye, see you, Mary.”
So, Mary grabbed the twins from her. Then, once out the doors, Dr. Korvac is nice enough to strap in the twins in their baby seat. And once, Mary set their portable baby seat in the back seat, and got into the front seat of Dr. Korvac’s truck, they were on the way to the airport. And on the way, he broke every speed limit on the way, but not even once, was he stopped by the police.
Once, they arrived over at the Chicago airport, jus before she entered the airplane terminal, she said to him in a sad voice, “Well, Dr. Korvac, it has been nice working with you at the hospital. But I’m going to miss you a lot. Will give you, a call, every so often, though, to let you know, how Dave and I are doing.”
So, he said to her, “Will miss you too. Has been nice having you as a good friend. Bye for now.”
So, then, she walked as fast as she could over to the airplane terminal. And she made it inside the plane jus in time as it’s ready to take off. The stewardess grabbed the twins in their baby seat from her; and then, strapped them down in the seat next to Mary. And before she even realized, the plane’s taking off, and she and the twins arrived in Seattle in about an hour.
Once, Mary and the twins arrived at Seattle airport, a cab picked them up, and, since, Mary requested, that the cab driver take her right over to Dave’s house.
On the way to Dave’s house, she thought, “Hope that when I arrive at his house with the twins, that he’ll be gladder to see me. Also, hope that he’ll be all heart to see the twins. After all, he’s their father. And he should be eager to see them. Has never seen them before. But hope that he, still, wants to have a life with me, even though, I’ll need his help in taking care of the twins.”
Once, she arrived at Dave’s house about twenty minutes later, she has this funny feeling inside that he’s in his backyard. So, she didn’t bother knocking on the front door.
As she walked to the back with the twins in her arms, he jus happened to notice her, walking towards the docks. So, his eyes were jus beaming as walked away from his gray fishing boat, and as he caught up to her, he took the twins in his arms, and gave them both, a big kiss.
Upon setting them down on the grass in their baby seat, Dave jus smothered her with kisses for a few minutes. And because the babies were starting to cry, he picked them up in his arms. Then he said to her in anxious voice, “How about if we all go for a ride. Am sure, the twins will jus love it.”
So, she replied, “Boy, Dave, can tell, that you’re going to be a good father to our twins. Am more than glad, that you, still, love me and the twins too. Yeah, let’s all go for a boat ride. Jus hope the twins don’t start crying while we are.”
So, Dave kept the twins in his arms, and acted like he never wanted to let go of them, as they all boarded the boat. But they all went for a ride in his other boat, a blue and white boat, and once, inside, the boat, Dave strapped the twins as well as Mary down.
And Dave took off so fast, that Mary said to him, almost, screaming, “Hey Dave, don’t go so fast. Are scaring the twins. That’s why they both are crying.”
So, it’s obvious, that Dave’s glad to be with Mary and the twins too. Also, he’s glad to able to be a father to them. Certainly, with all his heart, loves Mary along with the twins. Also, he wants to keep the twins in the family; never wants Mary ever to put the twins in someone else’s care unless it’s, only, temporary care.
And to Mary’s surprise, he has reminded her, many times, that he wants more children in their family, even if Mary ever has any more twins. And if Mary can’t get pregnant again, he loves the twins so much, that he’ll do Mary, a big favor, through considering adopting a kid.
Monday, March 16, 2009
Friday, March 13, 2009
CAN[T SEEM MY WORLD IN FULL VIEW
CAN’T SEE MY WORLD IN FULL VIEW
I CAN’T SEE MY WORLD IN FULL VIEW
BECAUSE EVERYTHING SEEMS TO BE SO CLOUDED
AROUND ME, THAT I’M, CONSTANTLY, CAUGHT
IN THIS FOG, WHICH SEEMS TO BE CONSUMING ME
MY WORLD IS READY TO CAVE IN AROUND ME
AND I CAN’T SEEM TO RESIST THIS FEELING INSIDE ME
THAT EVERYTHING AROUND ME IS GOING TO BECOME
OF YESTERYEAR, THAT’S THAT THIS CLOUD THAT I’M
BURIED IN AND HAVE BEEN FOR SUCH A LONG TIME
THAT THERE SEEMS TO BE NO WAY TO GET OUT OF IT
AND BECAUSE I CAN’T SEEM TO GO ANYWHERE
THIS FEAR OF THE UNKNOWN SEEMS TO BE IN A PHANTOM
WHICH I’M CAUGHT WITH AT THIS TIME AND SINCE YESTERDAY
WHEN I THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO BE FREE OF ALL
WHICH HAS BEEN BOTHERING ME INSIDE, AND PLACING
ME INSIDE THIS EVER GROWING CLOUD, WHICH DOESN’T
SEEM TO WANT TO LET ME GO, SO, NOW, THE EARTH
SEEMS LIKE IT’S ABOUT TO CAVE IN ON ME
AND IF IT DOES, I’M GOING TO BE BURIED UNDERNEATH IT
SO, THEN IF THIS HAPPENS TO ME, SOONER OR LATER
THEN IT’S GOING TO GO AHEAD AND DO ITS THING
LIKE SWALLOW ME UP, AND ALL OF MY LIFE
WHAT’S LEFT OF IT, IS GOING TO GO AWAY FROM ME
SO, THAT IF I EVER MANAGE TO REACH HEAVEN
IT’S NOT GOING TO BE PLEASANT LIKE THE REAL ONE
ITS GOING TO TURN OUT TO BE REAL SPOOKY
FOR ME TO HAVE TO BE LIVING IN THAT HEAVEN
IT’S NOT GOING TO HAVE ALL THOSE ANGELS
WHO ARE GOING TO WATCH OVER ME, AND THEN,
PROTECT ME FROM ALL HARM FOR THE LIKE OF ME
THEN, ALL FEAR CAUSED BY HARM OVERCOMING ME
IS GOING TO TAKE ME RIGHT INTO THE FEAR WHICH
COMES FROM THE UNKNOWN AND THEN, IS GOING
TO LEAD ME RIGHT INTO A PHANTOM OF EVIL
WHICH ISN’T GOING TO BE GOOD FOR ME AT ALL
I CAN’T SEE MY WORLD IN FULL VIEW
BECAUSE EVERYTHING SEEMS TO BE SO CLOUDED
AROUND ME, THAT I’M, CONSTANTLY, CAUGHT
IN THIS FOG, WHICH SEEMS TO BE CONSUMING ME
MY WORLD IS READY TO CAVE IN AROUND ME
AND I CAN’T SEEM TO RESIST THIS FEELING INSIDE ME
THAT EVERYTHING AROUND ME IS GOING TO BECOME
OF YESTERYEAR, THAT’S THAT THIS CLOUD THAT I’M
BURIED IN AND HAVE BEEN FOR SUCH A LONG TIME
THAT THERE SEEMS TO BE NO WAY TO GET OUT OF IT
AND BECAUSE I CAN’T SEEM TO GO ANYWHERE
THIS FEAR OF THE UNKNOWN SEEMS TO BE IN A PHANTOM
WHICH I’M CAUGHT WITH AT THIS TIME AND SINCE YESTERDAY
WHEN I THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO BE FREE OF ALL
WHICH HAS BEEN BOTHERING ME INSIDE, AND PLACING
ME INSIDE THIS EVER GROWING CLOUD, WHICH DOESN’T
SEEM TO WANT TO LET ME GO, SO, NOW, THE EARTH
SEEMS LIKE IT’S ABOUT TO CAVE IN ON ME
AND IF IT DOES, I’M GOING TO BE BURIED UNDERNEATH IT
SO, THEN IF THIS HAPPENS TO ME, SOONER OR LATER
THEN IT’S GOING TO GO AHEAD AND DO ITS THING
LIKE SWALLOW ME UP, AND ALL OF MY LIFE
WHAT’S LEFT OF IT, IS GOING TO GO AWAY FROM ME
SO, THAT IF I EVER MANAGE TO REACH HEAVEN
IT’S NOT GOING TO BE PLEASANT LIKE THE REAL ONE
ITS GOING TO TURN OUT TO BE REAL SPOOKY
FOR ME TO HAVE TO BE LIVING IN THAT HEAVEN
IT’S NOT GOING TO HAVE ALL THOSE ANGELS
WHO ARE GOING TO WATCH OVER ME, AND THEN,
PROTECT ME FROM ALL HARM FOR THE LIKE OF ME
THEN, ALL FEAR CAUSED BY HARM OVERCOMING ME
IS GOING TO TAKE ME RIGHT INTO THE FEAR WHICH
COMES FROM THE UNKNOWN AND THEN, IS GOING
TO LEAD ME RIGHT INTO A PHANTOM OF EVIL
WHICH ISN’T GOING TO BE GOOD FOR ME AT ALL
Thursday, March 12, 2009
SOMETHING HAS TAKEN A HOLD ON ME
WORLD OF DARKNESS
Living in a world of darkness is not very pleasant, to be feeling
Because in my mind, my world has been like it’s on wheels
Around and around inside my subconscious, something is going wrong
To be whirling around me, placing me in this huge cloud of fog
Is what seems to be like being inside this tornado so black?
As all I can see around myself, is all this fog, turning so black
Feel, as though, I’m caught inside my subconscious mind
As all it’s doing, is sending me all these negative messages so blind
While my mind keeps receiving all these kind of messages, it’s some sign
I don’t have the slightest idea where they all are coming from, probably, the fog
Which seems to be going after me, as though, in heat, is this evil dog
Which is doing all in its power to overcome me as a phantom so ghostly?
That no matter what I try to do to get better throughout my life, so posted
In mind is all this fear of the unknown, which keeps surrounding me
And whenever I’m aware of all this fear in my mind, all I want to do is flee
From all this darkness, which is not doing my inner world any justice?
Throughout my life, what I, really, have been searching for is justice
So, that some day, all of this darkness will start going the other way
And leave my inner world, completely, so that I won’t have to pay
In one way or another, for what has been responsible for bringing
On all this mental illness inside my mind, which I hope, will go on a fling,
Some day and night, and leave me alone, so that all of this fear
Inside of my inner world, my mind will be able to leave for all yesteryear
Some day, I hope, if I keep up my perseverance to become a better person
That some night or day, the sun or moonlight will become to me as peers
Of having a brighter future, and sometime, help me to learn to see the light
Which, only, I’m aware, can be done if I keep onward for the fight?
Living in a world of darkness is not very pleasant, to be feeling
Because in my mind, my world has been like it’s on wheels
Around and around inside my subconscious, something is going wrong
To be whirling around me, placing me in this huge cloud of fog
Is what seems to be like being inside this tornado so black?
As all I can see around myself, is all this fog, turning so black
Feel, as though, I’m caught inside my subconscious mind
As all it’s doing, is sending me all these negative messages so blind
While my mind keeps receiving all these kind of messages, it’s some sign
I don’t have the slightest idea where they all are coming from, probably, the fog
Which seems to be going after me, as though, in heat, is this evil dog
Which is doing all in its power to overcome me as a phantom so ghostly?
That no matter what I try to do to get better throughout my life, so posted
In mind is all this fear of the unknown, which keeps surrounding me
And whenever I’m aware of all this fear in my mind, all I want to do is flee
From all this darkness, which is not doing my inner world any justice?
Throughout my life, what I, really, have been searching for is justice
So, that some day, all of this darkness will start going the other way
And leave my inner world, completely, so that I won’t have to pay
In one way or another, for what has been responsible for bringing
On all this mental illness inside my mind, which I hope, will go on a fling,
Some day and night, and leave me alone, so that all of this fear
Inside of my inner world, my mind will be able to leave for all yesteryear
Some day, I hope, if I keep up my perseverance to become a better person
That some night or day, the sun or moonlight will become to me as peers
Of having a brighter future, and sometime, help me to learn to see the light
Which, only, I’m aware, can be done if I keep onward for the fight?
WORLD OF DARKNESS
WORLD OF DARKNESS
Living in a world of darkness is not very pleasant, to be feeling
Because in my mind, my world has been like it’s on wheels
Around and around inside my subconscious, something is going wrong
To be whirling around me, placing me in this huge cloud of fog
Is what seems to be like being inside this tornado so black?
As all I can see around myself, is all this fog, turning so black
Feel, as though, I’m caught inside my subconscious mind
As all it’s doing, is sending me all these negative messages so blind
While my mind keeps receiving all these kind of messages, it’s some sign
I don’t have the slightest idea where they all are coming from, probably, the fog
Which seems to be going after me, as though, in heat, is this evil dog
Which is doing all in its power to overcome me as a phantom so ghostly?
That no matter what I try to do to get better throughout my life, so posted
In mind is all this fear of the unknown, which keeps surrounding me
And whenever I’m aware of all this fear in my mind, all I want to do is flee
From all this darkness, which is not doing my inner world any justice?
Throughout my life, what I, really, have been searching for is justice
So, that some day, all of this darkness will start going the other way
And leave my inner world, completely, so that I won’t have to pay
In one way or another, for what has been responsible for bringing
On all this mental illness inside my mind, which I hope, will go on a fling,
Some day and night, and leave me alone, so that all of this fear
Inside of my inner world, my mind will be able to leave for all yesteryear
Some day, I hope, if I keep up my perseverance to become a better person
That some night or day, the sun or moonlight will become to me as peers
Of having a brighter future, and sometime, help me to learn to see the light
Which, only, I’m aware, can be done if I keep onward for the fight?
Living in a world of darkness is not very pleasant, to be feeling
Because in my mind, my world has been like it’s on wheels
Around and around inside my subconscious, something is going wrong
To be whirling around me, placing me in this huge cloud of fog
Is what seems to be like being inside this tornado so black?
As all I can see around myself, is all this fog, turning so black
Feel, as though, I’m caught inside my subconscious mind
As all it’s doing, is sending me all these negative messages so blind
While my mind keeps receiving all these kind of messages, it’s some sign
I don’t have the slightest idea where they all are coming from, probably, the fog
Which seems to be going after me, as though, in heat, is this evil dog
Which is doing all in its power to overcome me as a phantom so ghostly?
That no matter what I try to do to get better throughout my life, so posted
In mind is all this fear of the unknown, which keeps surrounding me
And whenever I’m aware of all this fear in my mind, all I want to do is flee
From all this darkness, which is not doing my inner world any justice?
Throughout my life, what I, really, have been searching for is justice
So, that some day, all of this darkness will start going the other way
And leave my inner world, completely, so that I won’t have to pay
In one way or another, for what has been responsible for bringing
On all this mental illness inside my mind, which I hope, will go on a fling,
Some day and night, and leave me alone, so that all of this fear
Inside of my inner world, my mind will be able to leave for all yesteryear
Some day, I hope, if I keep up my perseverance to become a better person
That some night or day, the sun or moonlight will become to me as peers
Of having a brighter future, and sometime, help me to learn to see the light
Which, only, I’m aware, can be done if I keep onward for the fight?
MOTH MAN
THE MOTH MAN
CHAPTER I
Mark happened to be a reporter for the New York Herald, and he hasn’t been over to the city of New York, and over at his job for days on end, jus because he hasn’t been able to get over there.
The very reason he hasn’t been able to do this for himself, has turned out to be, jus because one or more flights, he happened to try to catch over to New York, he, somehow, has ended up missing. And how he’s managed to do this trying to get to his job, he has no knowledge or memories of this, or even how he, himself, happened to miss any of these flights to New York to begin with.
Another thing, which has been stopping from getting to his job, is that his manager has been calling over to his house; however, his manager hasn’t been able to get no answer from him.
So, his manager hasn’t been in contact with him, jus because, for some odd reason, something has been preventing him, from being able to pick up his phone in time, whenever his manager has been trying to make any of his calls to Mark. So, then, he hasn’t, lately, within the past week or so, been able to find out, his manager has been trying to get a hold of him by phone.
The thing has been, that his wife, Sarah, has been trying to wake him up, every morning without fail, being he hasn’t seemed to be able to hear his alarm clock, going off, and the alarm ringing in the morning, for, at least, the past week or so.
These weird voices, his wife has been telling him about, has turned out to be for more than a week, now, one thing, which has been interfering with his life, partly, being responsible for him not hearing his alarm clock in the morning.
This has become so true, that Sarah seemed, always, lately, to be waking up in the morning, feeling like she hasn’t slept a wink, all night long. This has been happening to her, jus because, for no apparent reason, she has, seemingly, happened to have been hearing these weird voices, especially, in her nightmares, every night and morning, which to her, have been seeming like they have been trying to take over her mind.
What’s been responsible for his wife, not being able to sleep, soundly, and hearing these weird voices, for all this, happening to his wife, has been centered on this weird-looking black creature, she’s comprehended as being some kind of moth man.
This so-called black moth like creature, she has been claiming to her husband, Mark, has been trying to talk to her during her sleep, each and every morning and maybe, even during the night hours, too.
This black and ugly moth-like creature has been trying so hard to interrupt her sleep, frequently, during the early morning hours.
She’s been getting this idea in her head, she’s going to go insane, jus because all of these voices, she keeps hearing in her head.
In fact, one night, when she jus happened to awaken from one of her nightmares, she, also, jumped out of bed in fear of being invaded in her mind by these voices. This jumping out of bed happened to awaken Mark, too, and it so happened, that at that time, he was able to sense, she was in tears, he, then, heard her, talking to herself.
Although, he thought, he has been missing out on what she has been trying to tell him about all these voices. It so happened at this particular time, she seemed to be mumbling incessantly, and telling no one in particular.
“These voices are haunting me, a lot, and I jus can’t seem to understand any of my nightmares, at any time. I feel as though, I’m going insane, jus because I can’t seem to figure out why I’ve been seeing scary things in my dreams, especially, this weird-looking black creature, and hearing these screeching voices.”
So, then, he happened, jus by chance, to hear what she was saying to herself, because for some uncanny reasons, this time, he’s been able to comprehend what she’s mumbling to herself.
In, suddenly, becoming curious about the way, she was going to respond to him, he said to her in a very frantic voice, “Is something wrong, my dear?”
“I don’t know, really, what’s been wrong with me, but I’ve been aware of the fact, something has been trying to drive me, crazy?”
“Try to tell me, what has been going on with your nightmares.”
“I can’t seem to explain in some comprehendible words, what has been reoccurring in my nightmares.”
“C’mon, you must, somehow, try to explain to me, what you have seeing in your nightmares for your own good, because it jus isn’t good to keep any of this inside you, my dear.”
“It’s hard to say, what I, really, saw in my nightmares, this morning or any morning or night, for that matter.”
“There goes that mumbling, again, so, didn’t you jus try to tell me, you’ve been hearing these intolerable voices in your nightmares?”
“Yes, I seem to have been hearing these screeching voices in every one of my nightmares, and these have been the kind of voices, which, lately, I haven’t been able to make out in any way or in any shape or form.”
“What are you trying to tell me, what do you, really, mean by the words, ‘in any way, shape, or form, my dear’; explain all of this to me?”
“It’s jus, mostly, been, that I’ve been seeing this weird-looking moth like creature before my eyes, which creature, I haven’t been able to make out as being any other thing. I’ve been seeing this black thing, flashing before my eyes, even when I’m awake, like the one, which I jus happened to see before my eyes, as I woke up, jus now.”
“Try to explain the whole freaking nightmare bit to me, a little better if you can, my dear. I’m sure; you must be able to explain some of this to me, putting it all into a few words.”
“I’m having trouble, right now, trying to explain it all to you in words, which you’ll be able to understand. Also, this weird-looking black moth like creature has been in every one of my nightmares, for the past week or so, now.”
“You mean you’ve been attacked in your nightmare by this weird black creature for awhile, now?”
“It’s jus that this black thing, which jus flashed before my eyes, seems to be driving me insane. And I seem to be getting, there, fast>”
“What you’re getting at, is that this black thing, or whatever it is, has jus scared you out of your sleep, and is trying to blind you in every which way, it, possibly, can.”
“I can’t, really, in any way, even begin to try to explain to you, what this black creature even looks like at any time, and yes, it has jus scared me out of a sound sleep,” she replied as she was trying to hammer her head with her hands, this time.
So, then, in feeling very confused, himself, inside, he replied in a frantic voice of desperation, “At least, try to tell me, what you’ve been hearing in these voices, which have been haunting you.”
“That is impossible to tell you, because these voices have been incoherent, and I haven’t been able to even make out one word, these voices have been telling me, all this time, this has been trying to invade my mind.”
“Jus try to describe the nature of these so-called voices to me.”
“Well,” she replied, rubbing her head, as if she didn’t hear all what he’s been telling her, tonight, after she woke up from her nightmare, “all of these voices have been so loud, and like if they’re screeching something in my ears. They’re, literally, driving me crazy, and want to see enter a mental ward.”
After rubbing her head, some more, and bending over, placing her head in her arms for a few minutes, she started crying even more. And she was acting very weird, he thought.
Then, she said to him, feeling like she was going to choke to death, “I’m hearing these screeching voices, every night, it seems, and they don’t seem to want to leave me alone. In fact, I feel, as though, I’m going insane right at this very minute.”
“Since, I’ve noticed, you haven’t been sleeping through the night for the last week or so, I think you should see a doctor, because not getting enough sleep, and complaining of headaches is not good for your overall health.”
It happened to be early in the morning, and he bent over to turn his alarm clock off. However, he has no notion to show up for work as a reporter over at the New York Times building.
It’s mostly, he’s afraid that he’s going to miss another flight over there, being that because of what time, he’s jus seen as seven o’clock on his alarm clock, jus now, it’s going to be impossible to catch his flight to get on time over to his job in New York, even if he caught a cab over to the airport.
He knows darn well, that no one, not even his manager, or any of the other people, he works with, aren’t going to tolerate him, coming into work, late.
Jus as he turned off his alarm clock, his phone jus happened to ring, and he has this feeling, he knew, who’s going to be on the other line. So, he, casually, picked up the phone and answered the one near his bed, which phone happened to be lying on his Oakwood bedside table.
It turned out to be, it was his manager, Jeff, on the other line, as he happened to be doing some work on his computer, trying to trace down what has been going on, some mystery over in the city where Mark and his wife live in New Pleasant, Virginia.
So, then, his manager said to him, trying to, frantically, control his anger, which was, quickly, building up inside him, “What’s been going on with you? You haven’t shown up for work for the last week, now. I hope you have a good explanation for not coming into work, because this could mean losing your job.”
“I don’t know how to explain the situation, however, a couple times, already; I have shown up at the airport, not knowing how I got, there. And as I heard my flight to New York, called over the intercom, then, I happened to rush over to the terminal, each time. However, upon arriving, there, the lady in charge, there, keeps telling me, that it’s too late to get on the next flight.”
“What happened after she told you, that you’re too late for your flight?”
“Then, I had the urge to call you right after that happened, but each time, I then, got sidetracked, and then, by the time, I actually, remembered to call you, over there, in New York, it slipped my mind jus as quickly as I had remembered.”
“What do you mean, you got sidetracked?”
“It’s jus that, for no apparent reason, I could understand at the time, I rented a car back home, not knowing how I was going to pay for it. And then, some guy, who I’ve never met before in my life, who worked for the rental care place, offered to take me back home, each time.”
“Did anything unusual happen after that, because, lately, I’ve been hearing stores about something unusual going on in your home town, of people, hearing or seeing things, which none of them have been able to describe in decent words. And then, most of them wouldn’t tell the police about the situation, for fear, that they wouldn’t believe their tales of woe.”
“All I can tell you, is that I’ve been booked as a reporter over here in New Pleasant, and have been trying to figure out, jus why my wife has been seeing black figures in her dreams, and while she’s been right in the car beside me at times.”
“Well, as soon as you’ve been able to solve the situation, and have all of this buried beneath your belt, tell me, and then, you can return back to work.”
So, then, the manager jus hung up on him, and as he put the receiver back on the phone, his wife seemed to disappear before his eyes, as something seemed to flash before his eyes, which to him, seemed to be bright red car lights, flashing at him, this time.
Then, jus as he was ready to leave the bedroom, and hunt down his wife, jus to see what she’s up to at this time, he jus happened to see a bunch of papers, setting on the dresser. And these papers, which he jus happened to notice as some drawing of his wife’s, seemed to be uncomprehendable to him, at first, until he fumbled through each one.
Next, he put every one of the drawings all over the dresser, which drawings, he figured, his wife has been putting down on paper, what she’s been seeing, or comprehending in her nightmares, when she can’t sleep at night or during the morning, sometimes.
Then, he, again, went through each of her drawings, and as he was looking at one, which seemed to match, what she jus told him about, lately, as he found her awake in the early hours of the morning, he, suddenly, stopped fumbling through her drawings.
Because jus at that time, he happened to come across one of her drawings, which seemed to fascinate him, he turned the drawing, every which way. And upon doing so, something seemed to click in his mind, that this one drawing, really, in some uncanny way, did resemble a black moth.
However, this figured looked like it was wearing this black cloak, which, really, made it stand out from the other drawings, which his wife has been setting on top of his dresser, at any of the times, when she has been having trouble, waking up in the middle of the night, and can’t seem to get hack to sleep, again, right away.
He, really, didn’t know how he got involved with this police woman. However, one day, she happened to drop over at his house. And at that time, it was a good thing that his wife didn’t seem to be home at the time, because he didn’t want her to ever find out, he’s been working with this police woman, Erica.
Upon walking, very casually, inside his house, the police woman approached him, and said to him in a curious voice, “Let me see these drawings on the dresser, one more time. Oh I see, why your wife has been drawing these figures, and each one seems to appear different in one way or another.”
So, he approached her, and said to her, trying to figure out, what she was doing, there, at his house, “What is it you want with me? Are you, here, jus because last night, you happened to find me at some guys’ house on the other side of the city? I don’t know what brought me to his house, and I wasn’t trying to cause any trouble, if you, really, want to know, what I had been up to over at his house.”
“If you don’t want me to arrest you for prying into someone’s else private business, then, come with me, and help me out on the case, because other residents, quite a few of them, have been complaining to me about hearing and seeing things. I think this creature; they all think this moth man has been bothering each one of them. So, come with me, and help me, solve this mysterious case.”
So, then, without saying a word to her, because the last thing, he wanted, was to be arrested, he, willingly, walked out the door with her. And then, they were on their way over to the police station.
And on the two arriving, there, at the police station, she took him inside the police station without putting handcuffs on him. Then, she jus went ahead, and asked him a bunch of questions about this moth man, if he knew anything about it.
She asked him why he was over at the stranger’s house, and then, made sure, he knew that he wasn’t allowed ever to show up, there, again, or he would, surely, get arrested for invading that guy’s privacy.
When he had gone to the other side of the city during a few hours trip, he would pull this wandering around, almost, every night, not even knowing why or what caused him to do this. And when he got home from driving around, he couldn’t even explain to his wife, why has been driving around in the city.
Half the time, it turned out, she wasn’t aware, that he was out on the streets in the dark, every morning, and that he kept doing this during the early hours of the morning. Whenever he would become aware of himself, driving nowhere in particular in the early morning hours, it seemed to be, only, when the police woman happened to bring this crazy driving of his up in front of his face.
And then, he would arrive home, and be in bed before his wife even realized, he had been gone anywhere during the early hours of the morning at the same time, every morning around two a.m.
Neither she or he was aware, that the moth man has been causing him to forget, whenever he has happened to be out on the streets, where he, exactly, has been driving way over to the other side of the city, by the time, he’s arrived back home, again.
And whenever he’s driving around in the early morning, half the time, he isn’t aware of being in his car at the time, or jus loses track of where he’s going in his car. And another thing is that every time, he’s out on the streets of the city, something seemed to flash before his eyes, causing him to forget where he’s driving to, on what streets and in what direction at any of the time, he’s been out on the streets in the darkness of the night.
CHAPTER I
Mark happened to be a reporter for the New York Herald, and he hasn’t been over to the city of New York, and over at his job for days on end, jus because he hasn’t been able to get over there.
The very reason he hasn’t been able to do this for himself, has turned out to be, jus because one or more flights, he happened to try to catch over to New York, he, somehow, has ended up missing. And how he’s managed to do this trying to get to his job, he has no knowledge or memories of this, or even how he, himself, happened to miss any of these flights to New York to begin with.
Another thing, which has been stopping from getting to his job, is that his manager has been calling over to his house; however, his manager hasn’t been able to get no answer from him.
So, his manager hasn’t been in contact with him, jus because, for some odd reason, something has been preventing him, from being able to pick up his phone in time, whenever his manager has been trying to make any of his calls to Mark. So, then, he hasn’t, lately, within the past week or so, been able to find out, his manager has been trying to get a hold of him by phone.
The thing has been, that his wife, Sarah, has been trying to wake him up, every morning without fail, being he hasn’t seemed to be able to hear his alarm clock, going off, and the alarm ringing in the morning, for, at least, the past week or so.
These weird voices, his wife has been telling him about, has turned out to be for more than a week, now, one thing, which has been interfering with his life, partly, being responsible for him not hearing his alarm clock in the morning.
This has become so true, that Sarah seemed, always, lately, to be waking up in the morning, feeling like she hasn’t slept a wink, all night long. This has been happening to her, jus because, for no apparent reason, she has, seemingly, happened to have been hearing these weird voices, especially, in her nightmares, every night and morning, which to her, have been seeming like they have been trying to take over her mind.
What’s been responsible for his wife, not being able to sleep, soundly, and hearing these weird voices, for all this, happening to his wife, has been centered on this weird-looking black creature, she’s comprehended as being some kind of moth man.
This so-called black moth like creature, she has been claiming to her husband, Mark, has been trying to talk to her during her sleep, each and every morning and maybe, even during the night hours, too.
This black and ugly moth-like creature has been trying so hard to interrupt her sleep, frequently, during the early morning hours.
She’s been getting this idea in her head, she’s going to go insane, jus because all of these voices, she keeps hearing in her head.
In fact, one night, when she jus happened to awaken from one of her nightmares, she, also, jumped out of bed in fear of being invaded in her mind by these voices. This jumping out of bed happened to awaken Mark, too, and it so happened, that at that time, he was able to sense, she was in tears, he, then, heard her, talking to herself.
Although, he thought, he has been missing out on what she has been trying to tell him about all these voices. It so happened at this particular time, she seemed to be mumbling incessantly, and telling no one in particular.
“These voices are haunting me, a lot, and I jus can’t seem to understand any of my nightmares, at any time. I feel as though, I’m going insane, jus because I can’t seem to figure out why I’ve been seeing scary things in my dreams, especially, this weird-looking black creature, and hearing these screeching voices.”
So, then, he happened, jus by chance, to hear what she was saying to herself, because for some uncanny reasons, this time, he’s been able to comprehend what she’s mumbling to herself.
In, suddenly, becoming curious about the way, she was going to respond to him, he said to her in a very frantic voice, “Is something wrong, my dear?”
“I don’t know, really, what’s been wrong with me, but I’ve been aware of the fact, something has been trying to drive me, crazy?”
“Try to tell me, what has been going on with your nightmares.”
“I can’t seem to explain in some comprehendible words, what has been reoccurring in my nightmares.”
“C’mon, you must, somehow, try to explain to me, what you have seeing in your nightmares for your own good, because it jus isn’t good to keep any of this inside you, my dear.”
“It’s hard to say, what I, really, saw in my nightmares, this morning or any morning or night, for that matter.”
“There goes that mumbling, again, so, didn’t you jus try to tell me, you’ve been hearing these intolerable voices in your nightmares?”
“Yes, I seem to have been hearing these screeching voices in every one of my nightmares, and these have been the kind of voices, which, lately, I haven’t been able to make out in any way or in any shape or form.”
“What are you trying to tell me, what do you, really, mean by the words, ‘in any way, shape, or form, my dear’; explain all of this to me?”
“It’s jus, mostly, been, that I’ve been seeing this weird-looking moth like creature before my eyes, which creature, I haven’t been able to make out as being any other thing. I’ve been seeing this black thing, flashing before my eyes, even when I’m awake, like the one, which I jus happened to see before my eyes, as I woke up, jus now.”
“Try to explain the whole freaking nightmare bit to me, a little better if you can, my dear. I’m sure; you must be able to explain some of this to me, putting it all into a few words.”
“I’m having trouble, right now, trying to explain it all to you in words, which you’ll be able to understand. Also, this weird-looking black moth like creature has been in every one of my nightmares, for the past week or so, now.”
“You mean you’ve been attacked in your nightmare by this weird black creature for awhile, now?”
“It’s jus that this black thing, which jus flashed before my eyes, seems to be driving me insane. And I seem to be getting, there, fast>”
“What you’re getting at, is that this black thing, or whatever it is, has jus scared you out of your sleep, and is trying to blind you in every which way, it, possibly, can.”
“I can’t, really, in any way, even begin to try to explain to you, what this black creature even looks like at any time, and yes, it has jus scared me out of a sound sleep,” she replied as she was trying to hammer her head with her hands, this time.
So, then, in feeling very confused, himself, inside, he replied in a frantic voice of desperation, “At least, try to tell me, what you’ve been hearing in these voices, which have been haunting you.”
“That is impossible to tell you, because these voices have been incoherent, and I haven’t been able to even make out one word, these voices have been telling me, all this time, this has been trying to invade my mind.”
“Jus try to describe the nature of these so-called voices to me.”
“Well,” she replied, rubbing her head, as if she didn’t hear all what he’s been telling her, tonight, after she woke up from her nightmare, “all of these voices have been so loud, and like if they’re screeching something in my ears. They’re, literally, driving me crazy, and want to see enter a mental ward.”
After rubbing her head, some more, and bending over, placing her head in her arms for a few minutes, she started crying even more. And she was acting very weird, he thought.
Then, she said to him, feeling like she was going to choke to death, “I’m hearing these screeching voices, every night, it seems, and they don’t seem to want to leave me alone. In fact, I feel, as though, I’m going insane right at this very minute.”
“Since, I’ve noticed, you haven’t been sleeping through the night for the last week or so, I think you should see a doctor, because not getting enough sleep, and complaining of headaches is not good for your overall health.”
It happened to be early in the morning, and he bent over to turn his alarm clock off. However, he has no notion to show up for work as a reporter over at the New York Times building.
It’s mostly, he’s afraid that he’s going to miss another flight over there, being that because of what time, he’s jus seen as seven o’clock on his alarm clock, jus now, it’s going to be impossible to catch his flight to get on time over to his job in New York, even if he caught a cab over to the airport.
He knows darn well, that no one, not even his manager, or any of the other people, he works with, aren’t going to tolerate him, coming into work, late.
Jus as he turned off his alarm clock, his phone jus happened to ring, and he has this feeling, he knew, who’s going to be on the other line. So, he, casually, picked up the phone and answered the one near his bed, which phone happened to be lying on his Oakwood bedside table.
It turned out to be, it was his manager, Jeff, on the other line, as he happened to be doing some work on his computer, trying to trace down what has been going on, some mystery over in the city where Mark and his wife live in New Pleasant, Virginia.
So, then, his manager said to him, trying to, frantically, control his anger, which was, quickly, building up inside him, “What’s been going on with you? You haven’t shown up for work for the last week, now. I hope you have a good explanation for not coming into work, because this could mean losing your job.”
“I don’t know how to explain the situation, however, a couple times, already; I have shown up at the airport, not knowing how I got, there. And as I heard my flight to New York, called over the intercom, then, I happened to rush over to the terminal, each time. However, upon arriving, there, the lady in charge, there, keeps telling me, that it’s too late to get on the next flight.”
“What happened after she told you, that you’re too late for your flight?”
“Then, I had the urge to call you right after that happened, but each time, I then, got sidetracked, and then, by the time, I actually, remembered to call you, over there, in New York, it slipped my mind jus as quickly as I had remembered.”
“What do you mean, you got sidetracked?”
“It’s jus that, for no apparent reason, I could understand at the time, I rented a car back home, not knowing how I was going to pay for it. And then, some guy, who I’ve never met before in my life, who worked for the rental care place, offered to take me back home, each time.”
“Did anything unusual happen after that, because, lately, I’ve been hearing stores about something unusual going on in your home town, of people, hearing or seeing things, which none of them have been able to describe in decent words. And then, most of them wouldn’t tell the police about the situation, for fear, that they wouldn’t believe their tales of woe.”
“All I can tell you, is that I’ve been booked as a reporter over here in New Pleasant, and have been trying to figure out, jus why my wife has been seeing black figures in her dreams, and while she’s been right in the car beside me at times.”
“Well, as soon as you’ve been able to solve the situation, and have all of this buried beneath your belt, tell me, and then, you can return back to work.”
So, then, the manager jus hung up on him, and as he put the receiver back on the phone, his wife seemed to disappear before his eyes, as something seemed to flash before his eyes, which to him, seemed to be bright red car lights, flashing at him, this time.
Then, jus as he was ready to leave the bedroom, and hunt down his wife, jus to see what she’s up to at this time, he jus happened to see a bunch of papers, setting on the dresser. And these papers, which he jus happened to notice as some drawing of his wife’s, seemed to be uncomprehendable to him, at first, until he fumbled through each one.
Next, he put every one of the drawings all over the dresser, which drawings, he figured, his wife has been putting down on paper, what she’s been seeing, or comprehending in her nightmares, when she can’t sleep at night or during the morning, sometimes.
Then, he, again, went through each of her drawings, and as he was looking at one, which seemed to match, what she jus told him about, lately, as he found her awake in the early hours of the morning, he, suddenly, stopped fumbling through her drawings.
Because jus at that time, he happened to come across one of her drawings, which seemed to fascinate him, he turned the drawing, every which way. And upon doing so, something seemed to click in his mind, that this one drawing, really, in some uncanny way, did resemble a black moth.
However, this figured looked like it was wearing this black cloak, which, really, made it stand out from the other drawings, which his wife has been setting on top of his dresser, at any of the times, when she has been having trouble, waking up in the middle of the night, and can’t seem to get hack to sleep, again, right away.
He, really, didn’t know how he got involved with this police woman. However, one day, she happened to drop over at his house. And at that time, it was a good thing that his wife didn’t seem to be home at the time, because he didn’t want her to ever find out, he’s been working with this police woman, Erica.
Upon walking, very casually, inside his house, the police woman approached him, and said to him in a curious voice, “Let me see these drawings on the dresser, one more time. Oh I see, why your wife has been drawing these figures, and each one seems to appear different in one way or another.”
So, he approached her, and said to her, trying to figure out, what she was doing, there, at his house, “What is it you want with me? Are you, here, jus because last night, you happened to find me at some guys’ house on the other side of the city? I don’t know what brought me to his house, and I wasn’t trying to cause any trouble, if you, really, want to know, what I had been up to over at his house.”
“If you don’t want me to arrest you for prying into someone’s else private business, then, come with me, and help me out on the case, because other residents, quite a few of them, have been complaining to me about hearing and seeing things. I think this creature; they all think this moth man has been bothering each one of them. So, come with me, and help me, solve this mysterious case.”
So, then, without saying a word to her, because the last thing, he wanted, was to be arrested, he, willingly, walked out the door with her. And then, they were on their way over to the police station.
And on the two arriving, there, at the police station, she took him inside the police station without putting handcuffs on him. Then, she jus went ahead, and asked him a bunch of questions about this moth man, if he knew anything about it.
She asked him why he was over at the stranger’s house, and then, made sure, he knew that he wasn’t allowed ever to show up, there, again, or he would, surely, get arrested for invading that guy’s privacy.
When he had gone to the other side of the city during a few hours trip, he would pull this wandering around, almost, every night, not even knowing why or what caused him to do this. And when he got home from driving around, he couldn’t even explain to his wife, why has been driving around in the city.
Half the time, it turned out, she wasn’t aware, that he was out on the streets in the dark, every morning, and that he kept doing this during the early hours of the morning. Whenever he would become aware of himself, driving nowhere in particular in the early morning hours, it seemed to be, only, when the police woman happened to bring this crazy driving of his up in front of his face.
And then, he would arrive home, and be in bed before his wife even realized, he had been gone anywhere during the early hours of the morning at the same time, every morning around two a.m.
Neither she or he was aware, that the moth man has been causing him to forget, whenever he has happened to be out on the streets, where he, exactly, has been driving way over to the other side of the city, by the time, he’s arrived back home, again.
And whenever he’s driving around in the early morning, half the time, he isn’t aware of being in his car at the time, or jus loses track of where he’s going in his car. And another thing is that every time, he’s out on the streets of the city, something seemed to flash before his eyes, causing him to forget where he’s driving to, on what streets and in what direction at any of the time, he’s been out on the streets in the darkness of the night.
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
STRESS MANAGEMENT
ROBERT F. SARMEINTO, PH.D.
PSYCHOLOGIST
Stress Management
Everyone experiences stress from time to time, so it is perfectly normal. However, normal doesn't necessarily mean healthy. Nor is it inevitable! Believe it or not, you can learn how to largely eliminate stress. I don't mean eliminate the pressures in your life—those will probably persist. The way I think of it, pressure is what is happening to you, but stress is how you react to those pressures. So, you can keep the pressure and get rid of the stress.
A good example of this comes from the study of stress in executives. Several studies have shown that low and middle level executives show many stress symptoms like ulcers, high blood pressure, tension, burnout and so on. Top executives, however, as a group show much fewer stress signs. There are exceptions in both directions, of course. . Why do big wigs show fewer signs of stress? There may be many reasons, like more control over their lives, but it is hard to believe they don't have pressures. So why don't they get so stressed out? Probably the main reasons is that either they are naturally stress resistant or have learn how to handle the pressure without letting it eat them up. It's like the old saying, “If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen”.
Fortunately, stress management is largely a learnable skill. Most people can learn how to take the heat in their lives. Before we talk about how, let's consider what stress is in more detail. I way I think of it, stress is a “false alarm”. What I mean is that it is erroneous activation of the “danger system” of the brain. I visualize it as big red fire alarm inside the head. This is a system we are all born with and it is a good thing to have. However, the biological purpose of this system is to help prepare us for dealing with real, physical danger. When the danger alarm is turned on, it produces a physiological response called the “fight or flight” reaction, which helps us fight the danger or flee it.
When you are in real, immediate physical danger, it is appropriate to feel afraid. Getting your body charged up with adrenaline may well help to keep you alive. However, most of the time when we feel stressed, there is no immediate danger, so it is a false alarm. The fire alarm is sounding, but there is no fire!
So how do you learn how to manage stress? There are basically two ways:
Learn how to turn off the alarm system through various relaxation methods.
Learn how not to turn it on in advertently in the first place.
Relaxation methods work on the idea that you can't be relaxed and uptight at the same time. Basically, anything you do that is the opposite of what the danger alarm system does will tend to shut if off. Some examples include:
Deep breathing—taking deep, slow breaths rather than the shallow, fast breathing we feel when we are stressed. This really works psychologically to help shut off the danger alarm.
Muscular relaxation—tensing and relaxing various muscle groups can work wonders. Try your neck and shoulders, your shoulder blades, your forehead and eyes, tensing these groups for a few seconds, than relaxing them.
PSYCHOLOGIST
Stress Management
Everyone experiences stress from time to time, so it is perfectly normal. However, normal doesn't necessarily mean healthy. Nor is it inevitable! Believe it or not, you can learn how to largely eliminate stress. I don't mean eliminate the pressures in your life—those will probably persist. The way I think of it, pressure is what is happening to you, but stress is how you react to those pressures. So, you can keep the pressure and get rid of the stress.
A good example of this comes from the study of stress in executives. Several studies have shown that low and middle level executives show many stress symptoms like ulcers, high blood pressure, tension, burnout and so on. Top executives, however, as a group show much fewer stress signs. There are exceptions in both directions, of course. . Why do big wigs show fewer signs of stress? There may be many reasons, like more control over their lives, but it is hard to believe they don't have pressures. So why don't they get so stressed out? Probably the main reasons is that either they are naturally stress resistant or have learn how to handle the pressure without letting it eat them up. It's like the old saying, “If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen”.
Fortunately, stress management is largely a learnable skill. Most people can learn how to take the heat in their lives. Before we talk about how, let's consider what stress is in more detail. I way I think of it, stress is a “false alarm”. What I mean is that it is erroneous activation of the “danger system” of the brain. I visualize it as big red fire alarm inside the head. This is a system we are all born with and it is a good thing to have. However, the biological purpose of this system is to help prepare us for dealing with real, physical danger. When the danger alarm is turned on, it produces a physiological response called the “fight or flight” reaction, which helps us fight the danger or flee it.
When you are in real, immediate physical danger, it is appropriate to feel afraid. Getting your body charged up with adrenaline may well help to keep you alive. However, most of the time when we feel stressed, there is no immediate danger, so it is a false alarm. The fire alarm is sounding, but there is no fire!
So how do you learn how to manage stress? There are basically two ways:
Learn how to turn off the alarm system through various relaxation methods.
Learn how not to turn it on in advertently in the first place.
Relaxation methods work on the idea that you can't be relaxed and uptight at the same time. Basically, anything you do that is the opposite of what the danger alarm system does will tend to shut if off. Some examples include:
Deep breathing—taking deep, slow breaths rather than the shallow, fast breathing we feel when we are stressed. This really works psychologically to help shut off the danger alarm.
Muscular relaxation—tensing and relaxing various muscle groups can work wonders. Try your neck and shoulders, your shoulder blades, your forehead and eyes, tensing these groups for a few seconds, than relaxing them.
Monday, March 9, 2009
BIPOLAR DISORDER AND SLEEP PROBLEMS
BIPOLAR DISORDER AND SLEEP PROBLEMS
Are you tossing and turning at night, unable to get asleep? It could be related to your bipolar disorder
If you have bipolar disorder, keeping to a regular sleep routine is crucial to keep moods in check. But people with this disorder often have insomnia or other sleep issues. In fact, the relationship between sleep and bipolar disorder is very complex, says Ellen Frank, PhD, distinguished professor of psychiatry and professor of psychology at the University of Pittsburg School of Western Psychiatric Institute, and one of the country's leading researchers in this area of study. “Restless sleep when you have bipolar disorder can mean two very different things,” explains Dr. Frank. “One, it can signal that an episode of mania or depression is coming. Or two, it can mean something external disturbed your usual sleep pattern. In that case, the sleep problem—even one night of missed sleep—can trigger a mania episode that might not have otherwise happened. “What's more, says Frank, when manic symptoms occur as a result of poor sleep, you may begin to believe that you don't need to take your medications—which will likely have serious consequences.
Bipolar Disorder and Sleep Problems: What's the Connection?
Each body organ—from kidneys to muscles—has a gene that puts it on an internal 24-hour clock. These are called circadain genes, and the sleep-wake patterns, or rhythms, they produce are known as endogeious rhythms because they are produced within the body. However, as Frank explains, the sleep-wake cycle is also influenced by exogenous rhythms outside the body—such as the rising and setting of the sun, or mealtimes. “For instance,” Frank says, “if my plane lands in Italy at seven a.m. And my gut's still on Pittsburgh time, where it's the middle of the night, I won't want to eat. But once I see sunshine, smell food cooking, and put something in my stomach, my organs will wake up. 'Hello! Something different is going on here.” In people with bipolar disorder, both exogenous and endogenous rhythms are much more sensitive than in people without this condition, says Frank, which makes them prone to sleep disturbances.
Bipolar Disorder: Getting a Good Night's Rest
So how can people with bipolar disorder get the sleep they need? Frank suggests the following:
Track your daily patterns. Filling out a daily form called a “Social Rhythm Metric” can help identify your daily sleep-wake patterns as well as other regular activities, and also track how your mood corresponds to each. “It takes two minutes a day. You record when you got up, when you first had contact with another person, when you started work or school, when you had dinner, and when you went to bed,” says Frank. By using the form over several weeks or months, you can figure out which bedtimes and wake times correspond to your best mood state. Filling out a daily form called Social Rhythm Metric can help identify your sleep-wake patterns as well as other regular activities, and also track how your mood corresponds to each.
Look out for zeistorers! The German words “zeitgeber” (time-giver ) and “zeistorer” (time-taker) are used by researchers to describe different cues in your environment that can affect your schedule. Zeitgeber, says Frank, is an event or person that helps you maintain your routine—for example, a cat that should be let out at a given time or a spouse who must catch the same train daily. A zeitstorer, conversely, disturbs your routine, the way a business trip or overnight guests might. Figuring out how to mazimize the use of zeitgebers and minimize the effect of zeitstorers will ultimately help improve your sleep and mental health.
Try IPSRT. Interpersonal and social rhythm therapy (IPSRT), developed by Frank and colleagues about 20 years ago, helps you understand the importance of regularity in your daily routines, especially how a consistent sleep/walk cycle can stabilize your mood and help to prevent new episodes of illness. “You learn to anticipate changes in routine, such as a vacation or a time when your spouse will be away, and how to maintain—as closely as possible—your usual sleep patterns in spite of these changes. You also learn how to carefully adhere to your usual medication regimen,” says Frank.
Accept the situation and work with it. “This problem isn't going away,” says Frank. Just because your spouse can choose to go to bed at eight p.m. One night and one a.m. The next and suffer no ill effects, you can't. You must make your sleep routine a priority of the household.
Like a Finely Tuned Watch
Franks sympathizes with how difficult it can be for people with bipolar disorder to regulate their sleep and other activity routines,. “But I like to use an old TV commercial for Timex watches as an analogy,” Frank says. “A Timex was thrown off the top of the Empire State Building, and when it hit the ground, it was still ticking. Well, you wouldn't get the same result if you threw a Piaget watch off the top of that building. It's an exquisitely sensitive instrument. And that's what we tell our patients. You aren't a Timex. You're a Piaget.”
http://www.everydayhealth.com/bipolar-disorder/bipolar-disorder-and-sleep-problems.aspx...
Are you tossing and turning at night, unable to get asleep? It could be related to your bipolar disorder
If you have bipolar disorder, keeping to a regular sleep routine is crucial to keep moods in check. But people with this disorder often have insomnia or other sleep issues. In fact, the relationship between sleep and bipolar disorder is very complex, says Ellen Frank, PhD, distinguished professor of psychiatry and professor of psychology at the University of Pittsburg School of Western Psychiatric Institute, and one of the country's leading researchers in this area of study. “Restless sleep when you have bipolar disorder can mean two very different things,” explains Dr. Frank. “One, it can signal that an episode of mania or depression is coming. Or two, it can mean something external disturbed your usual sleep pattern. In that case, the sleep problem—even one night of missed sleep—can trigger a mania episode that might not have otherwise happened. “What's more, says Frank, when manic symptoms occur as a result of poor sleep, you may begin to believe that you don't need to take your medications—which will likely have serious consequences.
Bipolar Disorder and Sleep Problems: What's the Connection?
Each body organ—from kidneys to muscles—has a gene that puts it on an internal 24-hour clock. These are called circadain genes, and the sleep-wake patterns, or rhythms, they produce are known as endogeious rhythms because they are produced within the body. However, as Frank explains, the sleep-wake cycle is also influenced by exogenous rhythms outside the body—such as the rising and setting of the sun, or mealtimes. “For instance,” Frank says, “if my plane lands in Italy at seven a.m. And my gut's still on Pittsburgh time, where it's the middle of the night, I won't want to eat. But once I see sunshine, smell food cooking, and put something in my stomach, my organs will wake up. 'Hello! Something different is going on here.” In people with bipolar disorder, both exogenous and endogenous rhythms are much more sensitive than in people without this condition, says Frank, which makes them prone to sleep disturbances.
Bipolar Disorder: Getting a Good Night's Rest
So how can people with bipolar disorder get the sleep they need? Frank suggests the following:
Track your daily patterns. Filling out a daily form called a “Social Rhythm Metric” can help identify your daily sleep-wake patterns as well as other regular activities, and also track how your mood corresponds to each. “It takes two minutes a day. You record when you got up, when you first had contact with another person, when you started work or school, when you had dinner, and when you went to bed,” says Frank. By using the form over several weeks or months, you can figure out which bedtimes and wake times correspond to your best mood state. Filling out a daily form called Social Rhythm Metric can help identify your sleep-wake patterns as well as other regular activities, and also track how your mood corresponds to each.
Look out for zeistorers! The German words “zeitgeber” (time-giver ) and “zeistorer” (time-taker) are used by researchers to describe different cues in your environment that can affect your schedule. Zeitgeber, says Frank, is an event or person that helps you maintain your routine—for example, a cat that should be let out at a given time or a spouse who must catch the same train daily. A zeitstorer, conversely, disturbs your routine, the way a business trip or overnight guests might. Figuring out how to mazimize the use of zeitgebers and minimize the effect of zeitstorers will ultimately help improve your sleep and mental health.
Try IPSRT. Interpersonal and social rhythm therapy (IPSRT), developed by Frank and colleagues about 20 years ago, helps you understand the importance of regularity in your daily routines, especially how a consistent sleep/walk cycle can stabilize your mood and help to prevent new episodes of illness. “You learn to anticipate changes in routine, such as a vacation or a time when your spouse will be away, and how to maintain—as closely as possible—your usual sleep patterns in spite of these changes. You also learn how to carefully adhere to your usual medication regimen,” says Frank.
Accept the situation and work with it. “This problem isn't going away,” says Frank. Just because your spouse can choose to go to bed at eight p.m. One night and one a.m. The next and suffer no ill effects, you can't. You must make your sleep routine a priority of the household.
Like a Finely Tuned Watch
Franks sympathizes with how difficult it can be for people with bipolar disorder to regulate their sleep and other activity routines,. “But I like to use an old TV commercial for Timex watches as an analogy,” Frank says. “A Timex was thrown off the top of the Empire State Building, and when it hit the ground, it was still ticking. Well, you wouldn't get the same result if you threw a Piaget watch off the top of that building. It's an exquisitely sensitive instrument. And that's what we tell our patients. You aren't a Timex. You're a Piaget.”
http://www.everydayhealth.com/bipolar-disorder/bipolar-disorder-and-sleep-problems.aspx...
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