GRIEF COMES WITH MANY EMOTIONS

GRIEF COMES WITH MANY EMOTIONS
There aren’t any “should” with respect with how grief is felt or expressed. It’s common for people who have lost a spouse or someone close to feel sad, angry, helpless, guilty, anxious, lonely and frightened. It is also common to experience a sense of shock or numbness, especially if the death was sudden and unexpected. All of these feelings are normal.
Generally speaking, common emotions of grief are:
Shock
At first, it may be difficult to accept that your loved one has died. Some survivors cry, but others are too numb. They’re in shock. Shock acts as defense against the painful feelings associated with loss. Shock is nature’s way of helping us through what otherwise seems unbearable.
Disorganization
As shock lessens, feelings of uncertainty, confusion and disorganization often set in. All of the activities associated with everyday life may seem unimportant given the major loss you’ve experienced. A person’s normal routine is now forever changed.
Volatile emotions
Anger, bitterness, hostility and resentment are common emotions experienced by a grieving person. These feelings may come on suddenly and without explanation. These types of feelings, while uncomfortable, are no cause for shame. It’s best to just accept your emotions and express them in healthy ways.
Guilt
Feeling of guilt and anger may occur at the same time. Some people may feel guilty because of their angry feelings. Others feel guilty about something that was said or done that is now regretted. Still others may experience guilt if they believe they could have done something to prevent the deceased person’s illness or death. Such nagging thought often begin with “if only” of “what if.”
When working through your feeling of guilt be open to confiding these thoughts and feelings with a trusted friend or relative. If individuals find themselves feeling guilty and angry for long periods and can’t seem to move on, it’s important to consult with a professional.
Loss and loneliness
This is often the most painful of emotions and involves acknowledging the significance of the loss. Many people will feel depressed and will withdraw from activities they enjoyed.
Some people find it useful to seek the help of a professional counselor or a support group to help them through this difficult time.
Relief and recovery
Feelings of relief and a sense that the worst is overcome with the realization that life will go on and that you’ll be alright. It is important to realize that feeling relief in no way diminishes the loss you have experienced. It simply marks the beginning of recovery.