THE FUNNIEST GUY EVER TO BECOME A DOCTOR BY CHERYL V.

THE FUNNIEST GUY EVER TO BECOME A DOCTOR

CHAPTER I

It is a very busy Saturday morning, and two paramedics are jus wheeling Jack into the emergency ward. His brother is with him at his side because he’s the one who found Jack on the floor of the family house in Benton. He found Jack lying there on the floor, unresponsive, and he assumed his brother’s in a coma.

The two paramedics, immediately, checked Jack out, and one of them put an IV into his arm. Through the IV, he’s given fluids and some charcoal in a pill because, apparently, his brother had seen him, fooling around in the medicine cabinet. Then, Jack had taken a bunch of barbiturates which bottle his brother has with him in his pocket.

Upon arriving in the emergency ward, Jack’s brother gave one of the doctors, there, the empty bottle of medicine. Apparently, Jack took more than a few pills because his brother had caught him, taking a full bottle of pills into his hand right from a medicine cabinet.

Right away, one of the doctors, Dr. Pauley, took Jack’s vital signs which were blood pressure, 90 over 70, pulse of 60, and very faint. And his sinus rhythm registered very low on a heart monitor to which the doctor hooked him up.

Being his vital signs weren’t very good, and he’s, still, unresponsive, the doctor has to watch him, very closely, because his prognosis doesn’t look good. And he might not make it through the day and night, if his vital signs don’t start going back up to normal in a matter of an hour or so which could cause some brain damage in Jack.

So, Dr. Pauley administered some Dopamine to Jack which should bring his vital signs back up to where they should be. However, because Jack has swallowed so many pills along with alcohol, it’s going to be a long wait for the doctor to see if Jack will come out of his coma.

So, he won’t end up being jus a vegetable which would be a terrible way for him to spend the rest of his life on a ventilator. And not being able to do anything for himself. Also, he could end up having to be fed through a tube for the rest of his life if he ever pulls through all that havoc he’s in at the present.

Then, Dr. Pauley put Jack through a series of blood tests to confirm, he did take an overdose of barbiturates. Also, he ordered a drug screen along with milligrams of Narcan, an am of D 50. Next, his doctor is pumping out Jack’s stomach to get all of the barbiturates out of his system. Next, Jack has to have some blood gases ordered along with his electrolytes taken.

And being he’s not breathing well, he’s being administered 15 liters of oxygen through an oxygen mask while a nurse is inserting a main arterial line. Then, he’s having a serum barbiturate level taken of 45 micrograms per meter, and it’s being repeated at least twice.

Jack’s been in a coma about two hours, already, and his pupils are midrange and sluggish. His blood pressure isn’t any better, and upon the doctor checking him out, again, he seems to be losing cerebral function, and that’s not good at all. And now, he’s under dialysis, too, because his kidneys are, still, at a toxic level according to some recent blood tests taken on him.

After about eight hours in being in a coma, finally, he’s showing some eye movement, and one of his arms is starting to move. So, this is a good indication that he’s starting to come out of his coma. And all this time, he’s been in critical condition, his brother has been at his side, trying to keep him, company.

Now, that a nurse has walked over to Jack, and she has jus noticed him, doing some mumbling to himself. She’s jus signaled the doctor over to the patient, Jack, into Trauma One where he has been in critical condition for eight hours.

Jack’s lucky he hasn’t suffered any apparent brain damage from the overdose of barbiturates from him, having been on a ventilator for so long a time. However, he’s found to have some memory trouble being that he can’t seem to remember how he ended up in the hospital in the first place.

And he’s talking funny and he’s found to need some speech therapy. However, he’s jus darn lucky that he didn’t turn into a vegetable from being under a coma for so long a period of time.

Dr. Pauley took his patient, Jack’s vital signs. And they all look pretty good right now because his blood pressure and pulse are up to normal after having to use the paddles on him to bring him back.

Because after having administered some more Dopamine to him, this drug is responsible for bring Jack back. Also, he has a very good sinus rhythm now, and the doctor has jus taken Jack off the ventilator because he’s, finally, breathing on his own.

So, then, his brother said to him in knowing Jack will be able to understand whatever he says to him, “Hey, there, dear brother, welcome back. I don’t know if you were aware of at the time, you were wheeled into the emergency ward a few hours ago. However, at that time, you, definitely, were in a coma, and all of your vital signs were way below normal besides you having some trouble breathing then.”

After a brief pause, waiting for Jack t say something to him, then, his brother said to him, “C’mon say something to me, dear brother. How are you feeling, now? Are you having any more trouble breathing at this time? Also, the doctor is right here, and he wants to know if you can remember anything which happened jus before you were taken to this hospital.”

“All I can remember, Brother Tom, is that I didn’t know what I, really, was up to when I reached into the medicine cabinet at home, and took all of those pills. One thing that happened to be bothering me at that time was that I happened to be feeling very depressed over nothing in particular. So, I think that was what led me into taking all those barbiturates. Back then, I had been hoping that in taking all of those pills would end it all for me. And that then, I wouldn’t have to face life, anymore, and continue to be in depression because I have been feeling very hopeless for a while, there.”

After a brief pause, he then, said, “However, my brother, I should of not had kept all of this to myself. If I had been more aware of what has been going on, recently, in my life, I never, probably, would have resorted to all of those pills.”

Jus then, another doctor walked in, a brother of Dr. Pauley, Dr. Tom Pauley, who had gone to medical school with him. And had been encouraged by his brother to pursue his almost life-long hope of becoming a doctor, some day.

Jack’s original doctor, then, said to him upon overhearing what he was telling his brother, “So, that’s the whole reason why you took an overdose of pills, isn’t it? Well, meet my brother, Tom, here. I’ve called him into the room to give you a psyche counsel. I think that you need one, badly, at this time.”

So, then, Dr. Tom Pauley, a psychiatrist over at the hospital, said to Jack, “I’ve come to the conclusion after having happening to overhear what you were saying to your brother.

I think by, also, what your brother has told me about you, having all those times when your moods seem to go to extreme ups and downs. Since, I’m here to give you, psyche counsel; I’ve understood you are somewhat bi-polar and schizophrenic.

Your extreme moods along with you having had suffered from having all those delusions and hallucinations. Well, I’m going to have the nurse, administer some bi-polar medication, that’s Seroquel along with Risperdal.”

So, Jack said to him, “Please tell me what those medications are going to do for me?”

Then, Dr. Pauley said to him, “Seroquel is for your bi-polar condition to help control your ups and downs. And Risperdal, somewhat, helps control the depression, you’ve been in, and, also, controls the voices, you’ve been experiencing according to your brother, here.”

As soon as he administered the Seroquel and Risperdal through his IV. Then, he said to Jack, “I think it would do you good if you were admitted to a mental ward. And while you’re there, you’ll get the therapy, you need pulse get your Risperdal and Seroquel until the doctor feels you’re ready to be released, and then, ready to go back into society.

Right now, you seem to be in such a state from that coma, you’ve jus come out of, that your coma has left you with some brain damage. And believe me; the brain damage isn’t so bad that it can’t be controlled with medicine.”

Then, Jack said to him, “Okay, I see what you’re getting at, now. Out of my own free will because I want to get well, I’ll allow the hospital to get me admitted over to the mental hospital. And then, when it’s time to be released, when I can distinguish my worlds of fantasy and reality.

What it, really, is that I have this desire in me which I’ve had had, ever since, being admitted to this hospital as a suicide case. And this desire is very strong inside me to become a doctor, myself, one day.”

CHAPTER II OUT OF HIS OWN FREE WILL, JACK ADMITS HIMSELF TO THE MENTAL WARD

So, then, upon getting his discharge papers and a recommendation from the doctor, the psychiatrist, he was taken by ambulance over to Wholberg Mental Hospital. And the hospital was, only, about fifteen minutes away. And as soon as Jack, along with his brother, arrived in there in the ambulance, then, Jack was guided down the hall to the mental ward.

Once there, then, for no reason at all, he started turning very hyper, and couldn’t seem to settle down. So, the doctors who admitted him forced a straight jacket on him which he didn’t like one bit. And after the straight jacket was placed on him, then, one of the doctors gave him, a shot of Haldol along with Ativan and some more Risperdal and Seroquel to calm him down.

Jus after the doctor is done, giving him, shots of medicine which he needed, the doctor jus happened to notice, mumbling. And he can’t even say one word to the doctor at this time on how he’s feeling about himself.

So, upon the doctor, looking at the discharge papers from the hospital, he jus came in from an ambulance, they show that he’s suffered enough brain damage to warrant speech therapy jus because he seems to be talking with a lisp in his voice.

However, after a few hours, when the doctor, Dr. Winslow, came back into the mental ward to check up on Jack, again, he noticed that Jack’s trying very hard to talk. Also, he notices that whatever he’s trying to say isn’t coming out very clearly.

However, when Jack, finally, can talk a little more clearly, the doctor told him, “My boy, it’s time, now, to take you to a room near my office. And there, I’m going to have you go through some card test. And in you going through this test, will help me, decide whatever other treatment, you’re going to need while you’re here at the mental hospital.

Also, right after the card test, I’m going to have you, do some other things for me. So, now, that you’ve been taken out of that straight jacket, come follow me.”

So, as Jack and his doctor arrived inside his office, the doctor said to him, “Okay, now, just before you do the card test, try to walk in a straight line for me. Okay, my boy, you’re doing pretty well for having jus come out of a coma.

Now, I want you to follow the way, I move this instrument in front of you. Jus follow it with your eyes. That’s pretty good, too. Now, jus follow me to the other room, and there, I’m going to give you, that card test.”

As the two sat down in the other room, next door the doctor’s office, then, the doctor said to him, “What I want you to do is jus say what comes to your head when I hold up each of the cards. This will, really, test your mind, and from there, I’ll be able to determine how well your mind is doing.”

So, after the card test was all over with, then, the doctor took Jack back to his mental ward. And as soon as he arrived there, since, the doctor, then, left the ward. And he was having all the patients go outside into the backyard with wire fences all around it. This was so none of the patients could escape the mental hospital without a guard, catching any of the patients.

However, Jack didn’t follow all of the patients outside into the backyard. And he talked some of the patients in his mental ward to stay inside because he wanted to clown around with them. And the doctor didn’t even know that Jack and these other patients weren’t outside because he wasn’t on the ball, today.

So, while these other patients were around Jack, they all noticed that he was becoming, incessantly, funny laughing at everything and nothing certain. So, they all started dancing around inside the mental ward, and were having a great time doing so.

And if the doctor was in that ward, he would have made them all go to their beds, and then, he would have given them all, shots of Haldol to calm them down.

While Jack, still, was laughing, he said to the others, “Boy, isn’t this a wonderful day to do whatever you feel like doing? In fact, you guys jus follow what I’m doing, and you’ll jus laugh so hard that your whole body will start hurting. Jus try it for you.”

While they all were copying off Jack while the others, still, were outside walking around, Jack, then, said to the patients, he was with, “Boy, aren’t you all having a good time? This is the way; we all should be all the time. However, I found myself that laughing over nothing is good for the heart and soul. Don’t get the idea that I’ve been a psychiatrist before because I’ve never been one in my life at any time.”

Then, Jack and the other patients jus danced out the back door. And any nurses who were outside at the time, jus loved the way, Jack and the other patients of his ward, were clowning around because they all were having a good time.

However, one of the doctors didn’t like their behavior, and upon noticing these guys, hopping all over the lawn. He got the impression; these guys were jus being a bunch of nut cases.

So, jus because the doctor didn’t think these guys were acting civil. He made them all jus file back inside their ward. And once, they all were inside, he, then, saw the look in their eyes. Revealing that they all were very frantic jus because they knew what was going to happen next to them.

Jus then, as they all reached their beds because they didn’t want to be forced into them. The doctor went around to every patient in that same mental ward which Jack was in. And he gave them all, a shot of Haldol, while they all screamed for the doctor to leave them alone.

So, then, the doctor placed them all in straight jackets. And, especially, Jack, because he’s been getting quite hyper at times. For that, he’s being given Ativan in addition to the other medications. He’s, already, on to stop him from going into panic attacks.

What’s happening to him is that he’s going into extreme mood swings from happy moods to tears. And the doctor jus can’t stand the way. He tends to cry or laugh over nothing.

He, then, recently, has a fear over hearing voices around him which seem to haunt him at times. And these voices are throwing off his sense of reality which gets him. Caught between the worlds of fantasy and reality. Causing confusion in his mind. And this makes him, extremely, hard to handle at times. He’s been acting like the doctor, refers to him as being a nut case.

Then, he uses, mostly, incessant laughter to goof around with all the patients in his mental ward. And now, that he feels, his bi-polar disorder is under control. After the doctor, no longer, is using a straight jacket on him.

One day, when the doctor walked into the ward, one morning. He, really, let the doctor. Have a piece of his mind.

Jack said to the doctor, “Doctor, at this time, I feel that because I can laugh at the world. And it laughs back at me. That I want to leave this mental ward. Especially, because I feel that I never belonged here in the first place.”

“However, Jack you can’t leave this mental ward yet. You’re jus not ready to leave. Because you haven’t been discharged from here yet. And you jus can’t go ahead. And leave because it’s against the rules of the mental hospital. You can’t leave until I say that you can leave.

And by the way, you have been acting. You won’t be able to leave here, probably, for another month yet. You have to give your medication, a chance to work on you, first. And whenever the nurse takes your blood levels. They have to be up to normal which they aren’t yet.”

“Wait, Doctor, I have something to tell you, now. I feel that I, no longer, belong in this mental ward. Because I can laugh at everything, even my problems. And because I can. I feel that you are holding me, here, against my free will. And you can’t do that to me.


Don’t forget that I, already, told you. That I never belonged here as a suicide case in the first place. I never attempted suicide, not even at the other hospital. Jus because I took some pills. Doesn’t confirm or ever prove. That I’ve been a suicide case.

So, I demand you to let me go. Or else, I’ll take this case to court. And believe me. You won’t be able to win this one, either.”

“I’ll have you, understand, one thing, here. You can’t leave for any reason unless I’ve approved of you. Leaving this mental ward. You’re scheduled to stay here at least for another month or so. Until all your medication has been working on you.

And until your problems with your bi-polar disorder and schizophrenia. Both under full control with they aren’t yet. Being that you’re, still, hearing voices. Because you’ve complained about this even today yet.”

After a brief pause, then, the doctor said to him, “Because of your incessant laughter and sadness. That’s why you’re not ready to leave this place yet.”

“C’mon, now, jus bring me over to the hospital head. I’ve got some words to pick with him.”

So, then, the doctor couldn’t stand him, any longer. So, he brought Jack right to the hospital head to allow him to deal with him. The doctor had all he could take with Jack at this point.

Upon sitting down in the hospital head’s office, then, the hospital head said to him, “What is it. That you want to discuss with me? I thought that you aren’t allowed to leave this mental hospital yet due to your condition.”

“You see, now, what this is. That I, really, have inside me. Is the full desire which is overwhelming, to help out other people. I jus, now, have it inside me to help other people. Get well through the use of humor. I’ve noticed that it has, already, worked on other patients, here, at this hospital.”

So, then, the hospital head said to him, “Since, you, really, have shown me and doctor. You can help out others. I am going to give you. Permission to leave this mental hospital. You have been proven to have high intelligence.

So, for that reason, alone, you don’t belong, here, anymore. Or have you ever belonged, here. Also, take this from me, personally. It’s a grant through this hospital through state funding. Which is going to enable you to attend the university, here, in the city?

And I’m going to give you. The chance to prove yourself over at the university. And I’m sure you will be able to study hard enough to get the grades. And possess all the will power to become a doctor, sometime, in your future.”

Then, that very day, Jack, also, was given his discharge papers. And from the mental hospital, his brother picked him up. And personally, took him home and allowed him to pack for the university. And jus after he was packed. Then, his brother was nice enough to drive him over to the university which wasn’t far from home at all.

CHAPTER III JACK PLANS TO GET SOMETHING GOING WITH THIS MED STUDENT, KILEY

Upon arriving over at the university, Jack’s very surprised to find out that only two women are attending the medical school.

And after Jack got himself, settled into one of the co-ed rooms, there, over at the university. Then, the dean of the university took him on a tour of the place. And he showed him, the ropes. That’s the rules of going to the university. And that very day, he set Jack up with his group which included one of the women to his surprise.

And that very afternoon, when he has his first lesson of being a medical student. He introduced himself to the women whose name jus happened to be Kiley, the wild woman which all the men in the group called her.

At first, Jack thought the name was very funny. However, when he noticed that she didn’t laugh at that. He jus decided to call her by her usual name, Kiley.

Jus as the group entered the library where the studying was to be done, at least, when the group was together. Jack said to Kiley and the others, “Well, my name is Jack, and I’m here to study to become a doctor, some day. Because I’ve had this will inside me to be one, some day.

And whether it’s against the rules, I don’t know. However, I plan to use my humor, some day. When times warrants me to start seeing patients. This is because I feel. That in using humor has worked, already, on some patients which were in my mental ward from which I’ve jus been released.”

“Well, Jack, I plan to place all my heart and soul into my studies,” said Kiley. “And I suggest that you do the same. I’m here to study not to listen to your humor, every day. So, I suggest that you make up your mind to study in this library, every time, we get together here for our studying sessions.”

“What’s the matter with you, Jack,” Kiley commented to him during one studying session. “You seem to have been acting as if you want your humor to take over your personality and studying time. Actually, you have been starting to disturb my peace. When I’m supposed to be studying jus like the others in the group, especially, you. So, I suggest that you stop all that humor. Or I’m going to leave. And go somewhere else inside this library where it’ll be a lot more peaceful.”

However, Jack jus kept carrying on with his humor. And he did this, every time, the group wanted to get together to study. So, not only did she end up leaving him. However, so did all the others in the group find some other spot to study inside the library?

And Jack’s having trouble trying to make friends with this Kiley. Because he keeps disturbing her studying sessions. And she, especially, wants to put all her heart and soul into her studying. So, that some day, she’ll learn everything. There’s to know about becoming a doctor.

So, then, he tried a different approach. And one day, while Kiley was trying to study. He jus, quietly, walked over to her inside the library. And he jus tried looking at her straight in the eye which she seemed to give into after a few times of him, trying that approach to her. However, this approach didn’t work for the other guys. Because they all jus got the idea. He was trying to act like a clown. And that he’s going to stay that way being it’s a part of his personality.

So, the next time in which Jack approached Kiley. He, again, stared into her eyes. And then, when she found. He was putting a check on his humor. She started chumming around with him. She even would walk with him to their classes, every day.

And after a few times of doing this with her. He kind of felt that he’s starting to grow on her. So, he, then, didn’t want to make any fast passes at her. Every time, the two would go to their classes. He, simply, took her by the hand. And she didn’t seem to mind him, doing this.

However, she didn’t realize that they were growing on each other. Also, the two were getting closer and closer to each other, every passing day and night.

So, now, that the two kept growing in their relationship with other, business or otherwise. Then, Jack felt it’s safe to flash his humor at her as long as it wasn’t during a study session. In fact, now, the two were studying without the group. Because she felt that the two were doing better in studying by themselves. Also, they found that they could relate to each other better this way.

CHAPTER IV JACK FINDS USING HIS HUMOR IS AN ADVANTAGE IN DEALING WITH KIDS WITH CANCER

One thing, which the doctor didn’t like who was over these medical students. Was the way in which Jack doesn’t, always, seem to be paying attention to what’s going on in the classes? And he knows darn well. That Jack hasn’t, really, been studying like he should. And he’s, still, getting the highest grades in the whole medical school, too.

Another thing about Jack was that when he was supposed to be listening to the doctor in charge of the medical students. He jus would take off from the group whenever he felt like it. And he would sneak into patients’ rooms, especially, those who have leukemia.

And these kids, really, seem to have a deadly form of leukemia in which is causing many unpleasant symptoms in these kids. Being that they all have to go through chemotherapy. And every one of these kids is having it rough in ending up nauseas and losing all of their hair.

After finding out that these kids are suffering from leukemia. Then, Jack starts going inside the room which these kids occupy during chemotherapy. And then, he puts on this syringe nose. And gives every kid, one for herself or himself.

And the way, he, always, jokes around with the kids. Really, seems to cheer them all up during chemotherapy. And all of the kids can’t help laughing when Jack’s making fun of all their illnesses.

Like one thing he, usually, jokes about is that all of them. Look very funny, having bald heads. And that they all look very attractive, that way, especially, when they put on their noses. And Jack, also, dances in their ward. And that’s another thing which tends to make them, laugh.

And as a result of him, sneaking into their wards, every day. This is, really, helping them to get their spirits up. And the doctor in charge of these kids is finding that Jack’s humor, really, is making a difference when they have to have their chemotherapy.

In fact, most of the kids are getting better. And aren’t even getting nauseous like they were before Jack started coming to visit all of them. Whenever he can sneak away from the group of medical student. He’s supposed to be with every morning.
And Jack is getting a big kick out of cheering up all these kids. He has found that each one of the kids. Jus love the way, he dances like a clown. Wearing that red syringe nose.

However, he has found out, recently. That the doctor in charge of him and the other medical students. Doesn’t seem to like the way. He’s making fun of the patients’ cancer, either.

One day, the doctor, actually, caught Jack. Sneaking into the kids’ ward for Leukemia patients. So, he said to Jack in bringing him to his office, “Don’t ever, again, try to sneak into that kids’ ward like you have been doing. Because you’re not supposed to even see patients until you’re given charts to check in on patients to find out what’s wrong with them.

And you don’t ever do this until you; become a doctor, a resident. So, until then, stay out of their ward. And if I catch you doing this, again. I won’t even allow you to be one of my medical students, anymore. Is that clear, now, my boy?”

“Yes, I understand what you’re telling me, now, doctor. What I, really, have been doing inside their ward. Is cheering up all the patients with my humor. And I see you don’t dig me doing this, do you?”

“That’s enough of this silly stuff. Jus remember what I’ve jus told you. And when you do become a resident. You be sure to act like one. Because you’re not supposed to be breaking all the rules of the hospital. And that’s, exactly, what you have been doing.”

So, Jack jus walked out of his office. And then, when he has a chance to talk to some of the other residents, like the ones in his group. He, then, said to them, “What I, really, have been doing is getting good grades, here, at the medical school. So, how does this idea, sound to you all?

I, recently, came across this cabin in town. And I’m planning to use humor to treat anyone who cares to come to that place for treatment. So, are any of you, interested in running this cabin with me? In fact, I, already, have put money down on this cabin.

And once, I have this organized, if any of you want to help me out on this. I’m going to start taking in people for humor treatment plus what I’ve learned, here, at the medical school as a student.”

So, all of them, including Kiley, who he was very close to by now, agreed to running this place with Jack. And then, the very next day, whenever they all could find time on a weekend. They all agreed with him to quit what they all were doing over at the hospital. And the others from the group, followed suit to back him up. Because they all knew from what he has told them. That humor plays a big part in healing people.

The only ones who even thought that Jack was funny over at the hospital. Were the study group and everyone at the nurses’ station over at the hospital?

The hospital head hasn’t liked the way. Jack was going into patients’ rooms and healing them through humor. He jus didn’t like the way I which Jack. Approached the healing process in patients. And the head, no longer, went for Jack’s antics either with the kids. Because he thought, Jack has been making fun of all the patients in those kids’ ward. Also, he thought that all Jack wanted to do. Was breaking all the rules of the hospital. And that he even wasn’t acting like a doctor in the first place.

One day, the hospital head caught Jack. Getting supplies from the supply room. And he found out that Jack along with three other residents. Have been having a lot of patients over at a cabin. Also, he accused them of practicing without a license. And he found out that the way, these residents have been healing over at the clinic was through humor.

Also, the head brought Jack into his office, and said to him, “You know, here, Jack, I hope you know it’s wrong to be practicing without a license and the other residents who have been practicing with you, too.”

“However, what we have been doing is inviting whoever wants us to help them out with their illnesses and problems over at the clinic.”

“I’ll let you know that what you have been doing is illegal. So, I’m going to get an order to close down the clinic.”

So, then, Jack left his office, very angry. And at that, jus because clinic was closed down. One of the residents who he suspected of acting paranoid towards the others. Pulled something very unpleasant.

One day, jus after the closing, Jack found out from one of the residents. He used to have the clinic with. That the guy went ahead and killed his girlfriend, Kiley, with a knife. And that one of the residents found her dead on her doorstep, too.

So, then, especially, Jack and two other residents went to the women’s funeral. And jus after the funeral service was over with, then, Jack started blaming himself for his girl being murdered by this other resident.

Actually, he let the others know. That he knew all along, that one of the residents was acting weird towards him and his girl. And that he’s been jealous of Kiley being his girl instead of that guy, having a chance to have Kiley for his own. And that that guy was a psychotic. And that Jack knew it from the start. That this guy was, also, paranoid over that fact. That he couldn’t have Kiley for his girl. And that he had to kill Jack’s girlfriend out of jealousy.