STRESS MANAGEMENT

ROBERT F. SARMEINTO, PH.D.
PSYCHOLOGIST
Stress Management
Everyone experiences stress from time to time, so it is perfectly normal. However, normal doesn't necessarily mean healthy. Nor is it inevitable! Believe it or not, you can learn how to largely eliminate stress. I don't mean eliminate the pressures in your life—those will probably persist. The way I think of it, pressure is what is happening to you, but stress is how you react to those pressures. So, you can keep the pressure and get rid of the stress.
A good example of this comes from the study of stress in executives. Several studies have shown that low and middle level executives show many stress symptoms like ulcers, high blood pressure, tension, burnout and so on. Top executives, however, as a group show much fewer stress signs. There are exceptions in both directions, of course. . Why do big wigs show fewer signs of stress? There may be many reasons, like more control over their lives, but it is hard to believe they don't have pressures. So why don't they get so stressed out? Probably the main reasons is that either they are naturally stress resistant or have learn how to handle the pressure without letting it eat them up. It's like the old saying, “If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen”.
Fortunately, stress management is largely a learnable skill. Most people can learn how to take the heat in their lives. Before we talk about how, let's consider what stress is in more detail. I way I think of it, stress is a “false alarm”. What I mean is that it is erroneous activation of the “danger system” of the brain. I visualize it as big red fire alarm inside the head. This is a system we are all born with and it is a good thing to have. However, the biological purpose of this system is to help prepare us for dealing with real, physical danger. When the danger alarm is turned on, it produces a physiological response called the “fight or flight” reaction, which helps us fight the danger or flee it.
When you are in real, immediate physical danger, it is appropriate to feel afraid. Getting your body charged up with adrenaline may well help to keep you alive. However, most of the time when we feel stressed, there is no immediate danger, so it is a false alarm. The fire alarm is sounding, but there is no fire!
So how do you learn how to manage stress? There are basically two ways:
Learn how to turn off the alarm system through various relaxation methods.
Learn how not to turn it on in advertently in the first place.
Relaxation methods work on the idea that you can't be relaxed and uptight at the same time. Basically, anything you do that is the opposite of what the danger alarm system does will tend to shut if off. Some examples include:
Deep breathing—taking deep, slow breaths rather than the shallow, fast breathing we feel when we are stressed. This really works psychologically to help shut off the danger alarm.
Muscular relaxation—tensing and relaxing various muscle groups can work wonders. Try your neck and shoulders, your shoulder blades, your forehead and eyes, tensing these groups for a few seconds, than relaxing them.