A SAILOR HAS A BABY BY CHERYL V

A SAILOR HAS A BABY

CHAPTER I

Anna jus happened to be with baby, and is, still, going through waves of morning sickness at four months along in her pregnancy. She has been struggling with her pregnancy, ever she, first, found she was knocked up. For one thing, she’s not certain who may have made her, end up being this way, because it could be either Brent or some sailor, she met one night over at a bar.

The worse thing about all this is that she was supposed to be engaged to Brent, and he jus happened not to be around in her life, anymore. Jus when the two jus got involved in an engagement, before the two even had a chance to consider, getting married to each other, the two wanted to wait to get married after being in love with him for about six years. However, she’s, still, in love with him, and he died on her about four months ago.

She’s never been able to become pregnant, all these six year, she had known Brent. So, she figured that she must be carrying his baby. But she’s convinced herself, that because they had been so much love. That she would keep having all this heartache inside, which developed from having been missing him so much. In him, having died on her, made it very difficult for her to bear, jus because she’s been feeling very hurt inside over his death.

Jus because she waited so long to get married to him, she felt guilty about the whole situation, jus because she had been so deeply in love with him. Another thing, she couldn’t forgive herself, for having waited so long to get married to him. So, their marriage, then, never ended up doing through, because jus before he died, they had jus set their wedding date.

If she wasn’t pregnant, she wouldn’t be having Brent’s child inside her womb. She wanted to live a good life under the preacher’s rule. But she had ruined that type of life for herself. She felt so guilty about being pregnant, whether the baby inside her belonged to or that sailor, it didn’t seem to matter to her, anymore. Even if she had vowed not to make love with any guy, other than Brent, jus didn’t seem to faze her, anymore.

What she, really, wanted to do to hope it would relieve all this guilt inside of having gotten pregnant before marriage, was disappear, and go into hiding after the baby was born. She didn’t want to face the bare truth that it was possible, some Navy sailor, possibly, could have gotten her knocked up.

Since, her father found out, one day, that his daughter, Anna, was pregnant without being married, he, then, took some action on this case. To her alarm, her father had the guts to make her, go with him over to the Navy base, and he was going to get this situation, settled once for all. He, actually, confronted the Captain about her, being pregnant.

Then, upon finding out about Anna, being with baby, thought it was in the best interest to get the sailor, Mike, to marry Anna, jus because he thought, he has been one, who has gotten Anna knocked up. Even though, neither Anna nor Mike approved of this action, being neither of them was sure, that Anna was carrying Mike’s baby, the Captain went ahead and took some more action.

What the Captain did, to Anna’s surprise, have a DNA test done. Because the results showed, that Mike must have gotten her, knocked up, that night, the two met each other at that bar; he told the results of the test to Anna’s father. And jus because the Captain and her father agreed that Mike should marry her, because he, definitely, was the one, who had gotten her knocked up, the Captain had a strong opinion about the whole thing.

This is why Anna’s father brought her down to the Navy base. Although, neither Mike nor Anna agreed to get married jus because of a DNA test, he was very mad at her father for making her, face the Captain about the situation. For one thing, neither Anna nor Mike knew each other to begin with. And Mike was full of anger over the situation, of Anna being pregnant.

jus because her father and the Captain saw proof through this DNA test, that she was with baby, her father embarrassed her through taking down to Navy base. And he suggested that she get married to Mike for the baby’s sake. Also, the Captain felt that Mike had no choice about the matter of getting married.

So, upon Mike, meeting her over at the naval base, the Captain had a minister, there, at the base, to make Mike and Anna, go through a wedding ceremony. Also, the Captain thought it was important, that the two say their wedding vows to each other in front of the minister, jus before getting married.

Now, that Mike and Anna have approached each other in front of the minister, the Captain didn’t waste any time, in having this marriage ceremony go through. At this time, there, surely, wasn’t any love between Mike and Anna. So, neither of them like being pushed into marriage, when neither of them had any time to think this situation over by themselves.

As the minister was going through with this wedding ceremony, it bothered Anna and Mike a lot that the Captain and her father had to be present for this wedding ceremony. This wedding ceremony wasn’t easy for either Mike or Anna to go through, because the vows, which the two had to say to each other, really, were made up by her father.

So, as each one took their turn to speak out their wedding vows to each other, they, really, didn’t mean a thing to either of them. Also, as they said them to each other, their vows, surely, didn’t sound anything but mechanical to them. And both of them were, actually, relieved when they were done speaking to each other about what each of them were bound to do for each other as far as this marriage went.

As soon as the wedding ceremony was over with, neither Mike nor Anna could even get any length of time, alone, to go on a honeymoon, together. What he figured could be some type of honeymoon, together, with Anna, was jus in spending some time in bed with each other, now, that the two were, officially, married. That night, he thought he was going to be able to get her to start going to bed with him, and making every night in bed with each other, be like some honeymoon for them.

However, this arrangement didn’t work out for them at all, although, she knew that in getting married, she could spend all the time in bed with him, that she wanted to. So, upon moving into a one-bedroom apartment, together, that very night, didn’t seem to go well with her, because being she didn’t know him at all, she jus didn’t want to get into sleeping with him, yet, because they were strangers to each other.

But, somehow, he was able to think of a way, he could sleep with her, with him, sleeping on top of the covers. She fell asleep in her bedroom jus after they arrived over at their apartment. And the best, he could do to start out with being married to her, in sleeping on top of the covers, he found out to be the best arrangement, he could work out for now.

Since, she was very against sleeping with him in the bed, jus because she fell asleep on him. and he was unable to wake her up to take her to the living room couch, when she woke up in the morning, she was mad at him for allowing her to sleep in the same bed with him. He tried to get her to understand, that he had tried to wake her up after she fell asleep. But in the long run, she had a right to be mad at him. at least, he could have jus gone ahead, and carried her over to the living room couch, anyways, even if he ended up waking her up in doing so.

So, since, every night for a week, she kept falling asleep on his bed, before he was ready to fall asleep at night, he decided, he should be the one, sleeping on the living room couch, jus to make her happy.

However, in a week’s time, he was lucky as a four-leaf clover, to get a two-bedroom apartment for the two of them. During the time, in which some of his friends were helping him and her, move into their new apartment, Mike was very against her, lifting anything. So, she had to settle for moving smaller things into their apartment, which she didn’t seem to like very much.

Although, she’s pregnant, she figured, she was very able to help the guys, move some big things into their new home. She jus felt, as though, Mike was treating her like a baby, in jus allowing her to move her stuff into the apartment.

But in the beginning of their marriage, even before moving into this other apartment, he had to remind her. That the two of them had made a deal, for her, not to work or lift anything heavy, jus because he thought it was bad for her, being she was with baby.

BACKFLASH

That one night, when she had met him over at a local bar in town, Mike’s the one, who tried to get her to believe, that she had been the one, who had seduced him to go to bed with her. Even though, being she had been drunk that night, she didn’t even comply with having been the type of person, who would be so dumb as to have done anything to seduce him, that night.

So, she got the idea, jus because she has no memory of having done anything to talk him into doing any making love, that night, she thought of this night, as a night, when the two, only, had met each other.

But she had to take the guilt upon herself that she had ended up with baby, jus because she had led him on, that one night. This was one thing, which she had known for sure as having happened that night. , that there’s no doubt, that he had been stoned, because she, truly, had smelled the alcohol on his breath, that same night.

Even though, he wouldn’t admit about his drinking, she’s not lying about him, having had quite a few drinks, that night. She had been trying to get him to face the truth, that he hadn’t been able go to a bar, without getting carried away with his drinking.

What had been unfortunate for her, jus because the two had to get married, she had to put up with him being a heavy drinker, whenever he had gone to a bar, or had to have a night out with his friends from the Navy base.

So far, the two hadn’t been living up to their vows of marriage, jus because the two, already, had gotten into a couple of arguments, one being about him, sleeping with her, and the other one about him, denying he’s a heavy drinker. So, because of these arguments, she had been wondering, ever since, their first argument, jus how long their marriage was going to last.

And the fact of the matter was, that neither of them had seemed to have anything in common from the first day, they ended up married.

That night, which had turned out to be moving night, when a couple of Mike’s friends had dropped over, she had happened to have overheard, what they had been talking about. Upon her, having had overheard the guys, she had found out, that one of them had implied Mike, as having this mystery woman in his life, not being Anna.

One of them had implied, that same night, that Mike must be involved with some other woman, who he had known for some time. According to what the guys had talked about, that night, gave Anna, the idea, that he had been seeing this other woman behind her back. Ever since, that night, when her and Mike had met each over at a bar.

Anna thought she was a fool over have found out about Mike, having some other woman in his life. She jus didn’t want to face the fact, that he might be seeing some other woman behind his back, when she was the least aware of this happening.

Mike, then, to her surprise, acted weird in not letting any of his friends; know about his marriage to Anna. Upon sensing this about Mike, she, then, was led to believe, that; maybe, it was a mistake to be married to him.

she thought, Mike was trying to hide everything about being married to her, that, maybe, he’s trying to act suspicious about this situation, jus because he didn’t love her as he’s trying to cover up about having this other woman in his life. That he must love this other woman, because jus because she’s the one, he loves, that was the very reason, he didn’t wish to be married to Anna.

Anna, really, got the idea that jus because he had been the one, not Brent, who had ended up getting her, knocked up. He doesn’t want any of his friends to know the truth about him, having gotten her, with baby. She figured he was trying to bury the whole truth around her pregnancy, jus because he felt too embarrassed and guilty about this situation. And that because every one of his friends are married to their gals, and were married before having children, that they have labeled her as a misfit.

After all, jus because he thinks, that she had been the one, who had done all the seducing, that one night, she had met him a bar, that she should be the one, who should feel responsible for having been knocked up by him.

What, really, seemed to haunt her day and night, was that fact, that he had been the one, who had slipped. And that there must be another woman in his life that she hasn’t known about until now. Jus by the way, he’s been acting around his friends, she should be the one, carrying all this guilt inside her, jus because it was her fault, for getting mixed with him, that one night over at the bar. And that she should never have tried to seduce him in the first place, without knowing beforehand, if he had another woman in his life.

So, she thought it must be her fault, that he made her, pregnant. And that she’s the one, who must accept the truth, that he has this other woman in his life besides her. Another thing is that there’s nothing, she can do about this matter, jus because she had to get married to him.

So, that if she wants to stay married to him, that she must live with the fact. That he could be seeing this other woman behind her back. And that because of this other possible woman in his life, that she could keep them, from ever falling in love and making any good out of their marriage.

She didn’t like the fact that he never has admitted to her, that he was forced into marrying her. Another thing was that not one, has he, ever told her, the real truth, whether any real love has come out of their marriage, since, it, already, has been a couple of months, since, the two, first, got married.

Another thing, which she didn’t like about their marriage, that it, actually, was his choice and not hers, to get married in the first place. Ever since, that one day, on which the two were forced to get married. The two of them haven’t seemed to be compatible with each other in any, and because of this incompatibility, their marriage, probably, won’t last very much longer.

With scorn, she has been acting like her marriage to him hasn’t turned out to be a game or love match, because being she, still, felt, as though, she’s in love with this other guy, who, she, once, was supposed to marry. Jus because from the very first day, on which her and Mike had gotten married, nothing has, really, happened between the two to be of proof, that their marriage ever has been a good one.

She has been interpreting their marriage as being one, which never has gone beyond jus being a pact. That in Mike, having given into getting married to her, that one day, he had done, jus so that he would have the fun of his life, in seeing jus how she was going to keep reacting towards him, jus because he could have another woman in his life, which she, really, has gotten the opportunity to meet.

So, she figured that what he, actually, has been trying to do, is make her, feel like an idiot, jus so that if he has been seeing this other woman in truth, no matter what he tries to do in getting her to sleep with him, jus isn’t ever going to work out.

She’s been hoping that some day, he’s going to wake up, and do something to dissolve their marriage. From day one, she jus hasn’t been able to comply with any of his wishes, especially, the one in having tried, many times, to get her to make love and sleep in the same bed at night. In a way, she has been feeling very relieved, that in this apartment, they have been living in, has another bedroom, because in her, sleeping in this other bedroom, has been the best arrangement for her, in helping her, keep a lot of distance between them.

But if he ever starts giving into her, especially, reacting to her touches, that someday, maybe, the two will start getting some emotion in their relationship, which will help them, fall in love with each other. If there happens ever to be great emotion, emerging into their relationship and involving effort from both of them, that maybe their relationship jus might grow both emotionally and physically.

By now, she figured, that if Mike has, actually, lost this other woman in his life, it must behind him for good, because it’s, actually, been noticed by her. That he’s been concentrating through his marriage to Anna, in centering his whole life on her. One thing, which she has realized, is that he’s been trying to do whatever he can to please her, and making a good job out of marriage, where there’s no love involved.

The two of them have jus been living like they were brother and sister. But one day out of the blue, she jus, suddenly, felt this yearning creep up inside her out of nowhere. Every time, it seemed when he was around her, she start to get this yearning for his kissing. So, then, one time, when he was around his friends, he, accidentally, gave into kissing her, right in front of them.

Then, upon him, finally, bringing the cat out of the bag about her pregnancy, she had this look of embarrassment on her face as she pulled back from him. She started crying right in front of his friends, and upon doing so, she was in enough tears to fill a bucket.

She, also, had happened to have overheard from one of his friends, one night, when they were playing cards, that Mike, actually, slipped, and instead of keeping his promise to her not to tell any of his friends about her, it slipped out of her mouth, about her, having been knocked up by him.

Then, that very night, after he came home from playing cards with his friends with her, having been along with him, jus having watched them all play some Poker, that night, they had an argument over where they should be sleeping. And since, he was the first one to speak, he, then, let out to her like letting a cat out of a bag that he couldn’t get over why she, still, insisted on sleeping in a separate bedroom.

And that in her, doing so, hasn’t been helping the situation at all. It jus has been making the situation worse. Because since, the very day, they moved into their new apartment, he has been allowing her to sleep in a different bedroom, jus because it has been her wish to do so. But what he didn’t like about this situation was that it wasn’t doing anything to get the two of them to make love. And that beyond kissing and touching each other, there hasn’t been anything else happening between them, physically or emotionally, for that matter.

A few brief kisses felt good to her, since, that night they got into a fight, as to who should be sleeping the bigger bed, and that they aren’t doing themselves, any good, over sleeping in separate bedrooms, like they have been doing. And this has been happening, because she, always, seem to refuse to get any further than touching, partly, because she has fallen asleep, before he has any chance to get any closer to her through touching.

He has been touching her, but it hasn’t seemed to do any good for either of them. When she’s sleeping, she doesn’t seem to get turned from any time, when he tried to touch her all over, trying to get her hot enough to want to make love, or even sleeping with him overnight.

Another thing was that she has been seeing him as more of a caretaker than a husband. And that this hasn’t been a good arrangement for them, because it hasn’t been helping her, get into sleeping with him in the same bed at night, either. Though, at least, she has taken a big step in their relationship, by realizing, that this other woman, who used to be in his life, probably, jus have been lovers in the past. And she’s been getting the notion that the two still, could end up being lovers, again, like they have in the past.

Upon him, driving her to Bangor, they happened to come upon the house, they were to live in. But the thing was that it has two bedrooms, and they got into a fight over who was to take the bigger bedroom.

She was the one, who, really, was making an issue over the situation, and because of this, he got very angry at her. And he, then, jus stormed out of the house, because she mentioned they don’t sleep together to a friend of his.

It’s jus that matters haven’t been going well, ever since, that day on which the two ended up getting forced into marriage. And another thing was that she took much delight in defying him a lot. He has lost all patience with her, jus because she argued with him, during the beginning of their marriage. And jus because things seemed to not be going his way, he can’t seem to think of any way, to get his trust back in her, either.
































CHAPTER II


It, really, made her feel better, when she found out from him, that this other woman in Mike’s life, was jus a friend and that they have jus dated over the last few years. And that he hasn’t been seeing her, ever since, he and Anna have gotten married, and nothing has ever budded from their relationship with each other.

So, this could, only, mean that the two never were lovers to begin with, like Anna, originally, thought about the two of them. So, jus in knowing this, made her, feel more like she was married to Mike and not jus a pawn, to jus be pushed around whenever he felt like doing so.

From the very time, he met Anna, he could, honestly, prove to her, there never had been another woman in his life. So, he had been somewhat in love with her, from that very night, on which they met each other at the bar.

He had, really, gone through a lot of pain, when he had, actually, got a detective involved in her case, and that this he has done, ever since, that actual night, on which they had first met at a bar. And this detective work, he, actually, had done before the two had gotten married.

But no matter, what he tried to do to locate her that he ended up failing in his attempt to get her back into his life, back then. All this time, he had been trying to locate her whereabouts, his heart ached so bad that it, always, felt like a knife was cutting through his heart, because he cared so much about her from that very night, on which he had met her.

Since, she was his wife, now, and has been for a few months, their marriage has caused nothing to happen between them; even no love has been involved. To him, their marriage had been, only, a bunch of vows, and what they spoke to each other during their wedding ceremony.

He jus didn’t know at this point, jus how long their marriage was going to last, because they jus weren’t making love yet, although there was some kissing and touching involved in their marriage. He jus knew that they couldn’t go without making love to each other and stay married, because in not making love jus wasn’t going to allow any love, to seep into their marriage.

To him, there jus seemed to be no feelings involved in their marriage. And neither he nor she were making any effort to do something about the problems, they were having as far as their marriage was going.

The two jus weren’t acting like husband and wife, if neither one wanted to make love. And they kept holding back on this situation. And if they didn’t do anything to make their marriage better, and kept hiding their feelings from each other along with lack of communication, who knows how long their marriage was going to last or turn into a real marriage.

He figured that since, she wouldn’t willingly go to bed with him. that he would have to think of some way, to trick her into going to bed with him, no matter, how long it took whether it seemed crazy to him or not.

There was no doubt, that all of Mike’s friends, that they, somehow, figured out he and his wife have been sleeping in separate beds, jus because this she seemed to want. She, really, wanted to keep distance between her and Mike, because she wanted to get to know him better, first.

For one thing, he jus knew that she was counting on doing all she could, in making him, have this guilt complex, for not having this other woman in his life, anymore. To him, she seemed to be curious of him, having been some city slicker throughout his life.

What she had been interpreting about him, is that because he was feeling hurt by not having this other woman in life, anymore, and that she, Anna, has, unfortunately, taken this other woman’s place in his life. Although, he and this other woman wouldn’t see each other, anymore, to her, at least, this proved that he was trying very hard to be a husband to her.

Anna figured that what he needed to do for her was bed for some forgiveness from her, upon having been involved with this other woman, on that night, on which Anna and him ended up in bed with each other.

However, Anna should be the one, held responsible for having seduced him to bed, that night. She thought that he’s had the impression during all the time, the two; he and Anna have been married. That this other woman, he must be in love with, because she, always, has been a better woman, than she is at kisses or making love for that matter.

He wanted to keep this situation involving around this woman in the dark. But in doing so, wasn’t going to help him and Anna, get any better, jus because the two, not long ago, are married. This was no way to treat his wife, either, through trying to keep his past involvement with this other woman, a secret, jus because Anna, still, has the impression, he may be seeing this woman behind her back.

Anna was very angry over the fact, that he even had another woman in his life before her, because at that time, when she had met Mike over at the bar, she could sense, that he had been involved with that woman at that time. That he shouldn’t have allowed Anna to seduce him, that one night, because he had been seeing another woman, back then. Also, she thought, he, still, was seeing this other woman, and something was going on between the two of them.

There’s no doubt that Anna has been feeling jealous, because she’s been thinking, he’s, still, in love with this other woman, and that this other woman could get in the way of their marriage, if she wasn’t doing so, already. If it’s true that he and this other woman are in love, then, Anna jus doesn’t feel like she wanted to stay married to him. She’s jus been feeling like she’s getting in the way of their relationship, if they ever had one in the first place.

One night, when she and Mike jus happened to be having dinner with candlelight, things jus didn’t seem to be going well between them, that night. So, Mike jus got himself, carried away, and started an argument between them.

That night, jus as the two were sitting down to dinner, he said in a curious voice to her, “You, Anna, really, have been acting like there’s no love between us, yet.”

“So, what you’re saying is this that you’re jealous of the fact, that I jus happened to have had another woman in my life, that one night, we had met at the bar. What’s the matter with you, lately?”

“I’ve been feeling uneasy inside, because you’ve been giving me, the impression, that you, still, have this other woman in your life.”

So, what you’re trying to tell me is that you’ve been jealous, jus because I happened to have another woman in my life, that night, when we had, first, met over at the bar.”

“Yes, I’ve been jealous over you, having this other woman in your life.”

“For one thing, we haven’t been married, that long, and you haven’t given me, the chance, yet, to explain anything about his other woman.”

“Okay, since, we’re married; now, you let me in about this secret to do with this other woman.”

“Be sure you listen, closely, to me, because I’m not about to try to keep explaining jus how I’ve been feeling. For one thing, ever since, the two of us, first, met, there has been something about you, which has stopped me from wanting to see this other woman, anymore.”

Upon getting his composure back, and not getting any reply from her, he continued, “If you so concerned about staying married to me, then, stop holding anything against me. I’ve not having anything to do with this other woman. Another thing is that don’t believe anything, any of my friends tell you about her, because they don’t know what’s going on.”

Jus when he thought, he was getting, somewhere, with their marriage, she had to take everything, the wrong way, and as a result of lack of communication, there is much distrust between the two of them. She got the impression, he was cheating on her, when in the long run, he wasn’t doing so, because this other woman has been out of his life, ever since, the two met.

But she confessed her anger to him, and that she’s been carried away with everything. So, because she did so, he embraced her and she brought his lips to hers. He had a strong desire inside him to make love to her, and this desire has crept up inside him when around her for a few months but he jus has been afraid to give into this desire, yet.

Jus as the two happened to be lying on his bed, something inside him, made him, stop, abruptly, as she had anger, stirring up inside her over this other woman; he used to date, because Anna jus happened to remember seeing her on the base with Mike, not long ago. Then, she brought something to light, and said to him, whiles them, still, was lying on the bed.

“I have something I need to tell you, Mike. This is that Brent and I were, once, engaged to each other to get married. I jus loved him so much, back then. And then, he had to die on me from being sickly from cancer, jus before we planned to get married.”

“What you’re trying to tell me, is that you think you might, still, be in love with him.

“Yes, that’s so true, and whenever I dream about him at night, it seems to bring back into my mind, how much we were in love back then. Another thing is that I think I, still, can’t help loving him, yet, although, he has been gone for a few months, now. It hurts me so much, inside, sometimes, whenever he comes into my mind.”

“What you’re telling me, are that he’s the one you love, not me, then, and are that right?”

“Although, I do love him a lot, yet, it doesn’t mean that I don’t love you some, Mike. In fact, this physical attraction, I keep having whenever you’re around me, makes me, want to make love to you. But something is holding me, back from getting involved with you. I think it’s, partly, because I haven’t gotten to know you well enough, yet.”

“I don’t think you ever have told me, that he’s dead.”

“And another thing is that I’m, still, a virgin, which, probably, comes like a shock to you.”

“Yes, that is quite shocking to me. In fact, I don’t’ think you’re ready to make love. So, I think what you need is some time, to get over Brent. And when you are over him, let me know, because before you can love me, I think that’s what you need to do, yet.”

“Well, one thing is that I’ve jus told you that he has died from cancer. But, really, I have jus been trying to hide the fact, that he died in a freak car accident. So, I can’t hide it from you, any longer, because in not facing the truth about him, I think has kept me, from falling in love with you.”

“Now, that I see you’re starting to get over him, because you don’t seem to, really, dream about him, anymore. So, hopefully, you’ll be able to start falling for me, because I know for a fact, that I’ve been having both an emotional and physical attraction for you. But the reason, I’ve been afraid to give into it, is because I know you’ve been, greatly, hurt inside as a result of Brent, having died on you, jus when you two were going to get married.”

“What had, really, drawn me to you, that one night, when we had met over at a local bar, was the fact, that I had seduced you, jus because I had been so absorbed in my grief? That I jus had to learn on you for love, that, it, really, wasn’t there to begin with. At that time, I jus had hoped that you would be able to give me, some love.”

“So, what I understand, now, is that you, only, came to me, jus because you had, only, lost your past love, only a few weeks ago.”

Then, the two started touching each other all over, but they jus couldn’t get into making love, because she jus stirred up all that grief inside her, which she, still, was feeling over having lost Brent in her life. At that time, when she happened to get him to go to bed with her after they had left the bar, that one night, she had been in so much of a fog. That she hadn’t realized what she had gotten herself into in Mike’s bed, that one night.

So, now, Mike figured that their marriage was nothing jus fake and without love. And that one time, when the two jus met, she felt guilty, because she had used him in getting him to make love to her, what she figured was making love, but, actually, was jus touching and kissing that night.

What she has done was make a fool out of him through trying to get, whatever she could out of him jus to be comforted over her, having lost a lover in her life. And that night, she had wanted Mike’s comfort jus to soothe her inner being, in having been shaken in the loss of a man; she happened to love and had been engaged to.

One other night, while the two were lying on his bed, her, hopefully, trying to get something out of him, that night, she happened to catch herself, gazing over at a picture of Brent. However, since, Mike happened to notice, she wasn’t paying any attention to him, and jus staring at the picture, this aggravated him to the point. That he walked out of the house, leaving Anna on the bed in tears, enough tears to fill up a bucket.

What his wife, really, wanted was for the two of them, to try to do all they could to make their marriage stop from turning into an act of infidelity. The promises, which they had made during their wedding ceremony, were meant to be followed to a tee along with honoring the sanctity of marriage. If they were going to have a chance in their marriage going through, they had to always, learn to place their trust in each other before their marriage had any chance to fall.

Several hours later, Mike, still, hasn’t come back home, and it was becoming nighttime, already. So, since, he’s been gone all this time, she came to the conclusion, that she had made him mad at her, for acting so distant when they should be getting closer. Not until early the next morning, did she find him, rushing back inside the house.

All night long, she had had him on her mind, it seemed, and because she kept thinking of him, she couldn’t get her self to fall asleep much that night. But as he walked into the bedroom, where she had been sleeping a little, suddenly, she couldn’t believe what was happening between them, because their lips jus seemed to come, together, in a nice mushy kiss.

While he in a way was making her feel like a prisoner, she couldn’t seem to get free of his kissing overpowering her like this. Thinking, she’s so innocent-looking to him, he was drunk, acting so fierce with his touch, making her pulls back but not able to resist him, upon sensing he’s drunk.

The next morning, upon her, bumping into him, she jus walked outside, slamming the door. She jus couldn’t take any of him, right now, because anger has stirred up inside her enough to stir up a mouse. This happened because he was trying to play games with her. He pretended her to be the other woman, who he used to date before her. He tried to follow her, but she jus wouldn’t allow him to, being he was having a temper tantrum.

So, he, then, jus allowed her to go wherever she was heading. In the meanwhile, he walked back inside the house, and then, to his bedroom, not understanding what she was so mad about. He thought he, really, hadn’t done anything to upset her like this. But she had walked away from him, before he had a chance to ask her, what the matter was. He put some warm clothes, and dashed out the door like a road runner after a coyote, trying to get her to stop , because she could do harm to her baby, in charging off like she was doing.

As he happened to catch up with her, she was ignoring him. But he wanted to ask her forgiveness for whatever he had done to make her angry. The situation was that she didn’t like how he got himself, so drunk the night before. But he thought she was running away from him for what he had pulled on her.

How he needed and wanted her, though, he felt, as though, any feelings he has for her after these few months of being married, weren’t good feelings. He didn’t know how to deal with them. The first week, they settled into their new home, she didn’t leave him for another guy.

So, he figured she was trying to do her best in getting along with him. She even found a Navy doctor for her baby, and he was so glad, that she did, and was concerned about the well being of her unborn child. What, really, surprised he is that she got herself, a job.

But he couldn’t understand why she would bother getting now, because after all, she’s pregnant and in a few months, would have to stop working to take care of her baby. But she felt she needed something to do with herself. Mike was doing all he could, even though, he was the type, who didn’t talk much. He needed to start talking to her more to help his marriage, stay, together.

At least a turning point came around leaping like a leap frog. And the two were trying hard at overcoming any hurtful feelings for each other, concentrating on having a better friendship with each other to make their marriage, work. At least, he had been the forward one, who had brought up to her, that she should see a doctor, every month, for a checkup during her pregnancy, and once a week in the last month, even going with her to her appointments.

Mike has been hiding his feelings from her, although their marriage seemed a fake one to her that he was going to have to leave on deployment on a cruise on sea for a couple of months. So, she suddenly felt void of any feelings for him, because he was going to be gone awhile at sea because he was a sailor. But this didn’t seem to matter to Anna, because they had no love between them that she knew of.

She’d be facing having her baby with him in four months. So, she was worried about what she was going to do about this situation. And he was leaving in three days for his cruise at sea.

Then, when they left for her doctor appointment, she felt like she was an intruder out at bay as far as their marriage went long with him, being a stranger to her. She had a feeling; he didn’t want her as his wife, either. But she found something about this situation, holding her back from asking him why he didn’t tell her, he was leaving the base, soon, for the cruise at sea.

He did not wish to leave Anna alone. But he had no say about the matter whether he wanted to go or not. He cared for her because she was carrying his child, in a way; he has never cared for any other woman. He could sense, she was feeling hurt inside over him, having to leave, soon, to go to sea. He wanted to win her trust for him, like he has done for her.

And he has been trying to get her to go to bed with him. He’d wanted her for himself, ever since; they’d met that one night in Seattle. He’d never been in the enjoyment of physical delights with a woman before. But he never has had the opportunity, before her met her, to take a woman to bed with him.

At the doctor’s office, he found himself, sitting in the lobby while being worried about her health, because of the doctor, having ordered some more tests for her.

He’d didn’t like her, taking a 40 hour work week job when her health was so fragile.

She brought up to him, the fact; she needed to take her time in their marriage, that on her part, it needed some adjustment. But he didn’t want her working, because she was with baby, and thought she should use her time instead in working on her relationship with him, their marriage relationship.

At least, the two have been working on the give-and-take part of their marriage, which was helping their marriage a lot to go in the right direction. He was aware, jus because she had a hobby of making clothes for her baby. That this made him aware she, actually, had great love for her unborn baby when it was in having that maternal instinct in her.

For the baby and for Anna, he sure was having all the determination; it was going to take to make their marriage work. So, their marriage would survive the hardest times like when he had to go to sea. For one thing, he was letting go and not bothering him, now, was her love for Brent.

What, really, was making their marriage, was all these kisses, he would keep squeezing in whenever he felt, the timing for this, was jus right. Obviously, she wanted him to go out of his way, and not just act like there was a bond, thee, but more so of him, showing her, he had the pride and trust to be a husband to her.

But she walked away from him, and hid in the bedroom, because he was trying to hide. That he would be taking off to sea. So, she felt hurt over this situation, because her emotions were getting the best of her, driving her to tears in her bedroom, enough tears to fill up a bucket.

So, then, she went for her job interview. Because they wouldn’t give her, the job, because of her being with baby, she was convinced she never would find one.

She couldn’t seem to get Mike to tell her, he was leaving for the sea or even information about the two month cruise. She was doing all she could to get their marriage to stay, together. She, still, was an emotional wreck, because she knew, he was leaving for the sea. There’s not way, he could get out of it, either.

It cut like a knife through her heart, jus in knowing, he’d be leaving her, soon. Because the time was so short for them, being together, it wasn’t to be much longer, when he’d have to leave her for this cruise. He was feeling guilty, because he couldn’t take her along for a Poker game of his.

So, she wanted to break off with him, before their relationship turned any worse than it was, because there wasn’t enough communication ever between them. Since, he’d be leaving for sea, he didn’t want to tell her, he was, for fear, he’d get her into an emotional hassle. She brought his leaving her out into the open, because she was so angry at him. So, she started an argument with him.

“When are you, going to be leaving me for good?”

“So, that’s what’s been bugging you about me, going to sea.”

“Darn you, Mike, why have you left me in suspense all this time?”

“So, your friend can let you know all about this going to sea bit.”

“What, Mike, are you doing, trying to hide it all from me.”

In fury, she said, “Not, only, do you see me as your wife. But you never wanted to marry me to begin with. I don’t want this marriage any more than you do. I want out of this whole thing.”

Then, after getting her composure back, she said, “I never wanted you to know about me being with baby.”

Why he married, her, was because he wanted his son to grow up with him as its father. He was afraid that their marriage hadn’t any secure base on which to last. He, also, was afraid his marriage with her wouldn’t last, jus because none of his mother’s friends ever lasted long enough to be a father to him.

Anna tried to embrace Mike, but she pulled away, because she knew, he didn’t marry her for love.


















CHAPTER III


For one thing, he’s sensing how much pain, she’s, still, suffering from having lost Brent in her life. She had escaped to her room in tears over the situation. So, upon him, entering, the two needed each others’ touch. So, they succumbed to kisses, then, trying to get into making love. He felt more close to her, than all the time, they’ve been married.

So, she gave into him, completely, as they were trying to console each other. She wouldn’t allow him to make love, though, jus because he hadn’t let her know, earlier, that he was leaving for sea. She wouldn’t accept the fact, he was leaving either, and acted she never was going to see him, again. She felt void of any love for him.

The two went ahead as to make distance between them, that weekend. Neither one would as much touch each other, and spoke very little to each other. They went to extremes while Mike used one end of the house for camping, and she camped out at the other end.

As later on, the two said their goodbyes to each other, so void of emotion. What was she going to do all by herself, now, being he was leaving? Everything remained said and undone between them. So, jus after he closed her bedroom door, she found herself, crying so hard, that the tears jus rolled down her face. So, to her, it felt wrong for him to leave her for six weeks of duty.

So, she was, almost, drawn to rush out to him. But since, she tried to ignore him, the pain; it caused when though her heart like a knife. Into the training course, he felt he had done his share to ruin his marriage. If they kept up to their mistrusts and doubts of each other, they could end up splitting up. But they had to do something to insure their baby has a good life, and brought by a father and mother.

He missed Anna, but neither would admit their feelings to each other. He had to be more understanding and put her, first, in their marriage, after admitting all the blunders, he has made. After all, she was carrying his child. So, he has to excuse her for being so sensitive over different matters like in being married, was hard for her, because she hasn’t gotten over Brent, yet.

She has to learn to love Mike, and he ahs to do the same former. Even though, they have to allow each other to adjust to being married, and give themselves, some time to accomplish this. He has not ever lived with a woman before. So, he has to with her help, learn through her, teaching him, and giving him, some distance. So, he can find out how to act towards her. Jus the experience, he can earn through being married, should make him aware of what to expect from her, through allowing their relationship to grow. So, it will have to, naturally, happen over time.

She was having a hard time, adjust to what’s as new to her in living with a sailor on the Navy base. He’s a heavy drinker and has to make her, realize he likes to get, together, with his friends, every so often, to play cards for money.

But one thing about their marriage was they’ve become and developed an attraction for each other. This attraction, both physically and emotionally, has led them into making love and all the rest like kisses, which has held them, together, for months, ever since, that one night, when they had met at a bar in Seattle. This attraction has held proof jus through him, having gotten her knocked up.

What at sea, he kept dreaming of when he’ll get her in bed with him whenever he goes to bed at night, while feeling lonely for her.

He wasn’t going to force her into loving him or sleeping in his bed, or another night, making love until she was ready for it if they ever saw each other, again. If lived through these weeks at being at sea in a submarine, he vowed to himself, when he comes back to her, he’s going to work on his commitment to her and her baby after it was born.

When that time came, when he came back to Seattle, when his submarine docked, she was going to have a surprise homecoming celebration for him, because that afternoon, he’d be due to dock in a submarine. Filet mignon and seafood like crabs and shrimp and his favorite dessert, mousse, she was in the process of preparing for him, and almost, everything was done and ready to serve.

But one thing seemed to haunt her, and that she because lost for words on what to stay and tell him, like how much she missed him at sea. That she has fallen in love with him during those weeks while he’s been at sea.

Her baby at six months along in her pregnancy, was moving inside her as she could feel all the love, she has for her unborn baby like it was taking over her, leaving so much innocence to be share with Mike.

The submarine, already, has docked over at the pier. Anna was waiting at the gangplank for him, overanxious to see him after he’s been gone on a cruise at sea for which to her, has seemed like a long time. With her attention on him as he approached her, her heart felt like it was going to jump out of her chest.

But as he approached her, she felt a labor pain, coming on at, only, being not that far along in her pregnancy. As he walked onto the pier with his duffle bag, she, literally, ran into his arms with tears in her eyes and hugging him as snug as a teddy bear. As he kissed her, she was choked up for words as emotions dominated her whole being.

This happened to be the first time; anyone has ever greeted him over at the wharf. To him, the beauty of her seemed to swarm around him like bees on the way back to their house. She had surprised him in meeting over at the pier, because he hadn’t expected her to be back for him after the way, he had treaded her, other times, so roughly, like a pawn in a chess game.

He wanted to tell her, how he was feeling inside his heart. But he, also, was lost for words. He, actually, had been hungry for her love as his eyes had met hers in getting onto the pier.

Upon the two, entering their house, he noticed some additions to the place, like his own black leather lazy boy chair and bamboo furniture on the porch along with in her bedroom, a cradle for the baby along with an afghan blanket in the little crib. Also, there was a mobile above the crib along with some toys, blanket, and some baby clothes inside the tiny crib.

While he had been gone at sea, she had found herself a job for a few hours a week as legal assistant. He longed for her to give him, a son, although, he wouldn’t mind having a girl baby.

Then, she and Mike held each other as close as he was trying to see if he could feel the baby, kicking inside her. Jus knowing jus in seeing how she was caring for the baby, although, it hasn’t come into the world, yet, eh realized, they both loved each other. This happened, partly, because of her being with baby, had drawn them, closer, together.

Later on, he was thinking about approaching her about starting to sleep in his bed, together, being it was time to let her know, how he fell in love with her while he had been gone at sea. Also, he’d let her decide, when she was ready to make love.

She became silent, but he wad chattering to her about his days while at sea, and his job about his times while on the submarine. But after dinner, after her, then, did her part through asking questions, whenever one popped up in her mind. However, soon, she got up from her chair, and went right into her bedroom, because she was in pain. She wanted to lie down in her bed for while, and upon reaching her bed, she wanted to be in a world of silence, which has taken over her inner world.

Usually, he jus changed his clothes and took off with friends for the evening when coming back from being out at sea. But since, he felt he owed her some time, after him, being away at sea, he didn’t leave the house. He knew why she was in bed, he thought. He figured she was begging forgiveness for all the hurt, he had caused her through being off guard with his temper, and not watching the words, that came out of his mouth.

“But, maybe,” he thought, “she has gone to her bedroom, because he hasn’t let her know how much he missed her while being out at sea all this time. At this time, he didn’t know how to face her, because his whole being was caught up in world turmoil, not knowing how to get out of it. Anger was building up inside him along with a feeling of emptiness, which he thought was due to with love. But it couldn’t be because she, somehow, hasn’t been doing anything about her love for him, if any, she was hiding it all inside.

Then, in bumping into her inside her bedroom, he felt very bad inside as she’s in tears, afraid she’s losing her baby. So, he felt his heart being cut like a knife over possibly losing hi son, as he raced her over to the hospital. AS they were, she held onto her stomach, hoping she wouldn’t lose her baby, this way.

He knew, by the look on her face, a look of fear in her eyes; she was about to break down from her, gripping her inner world and getting a hold on her.

He arrived at the emergency entrance of the hospital, and as he carried her inside, he shouted out to a doctor, that she was having a miscarriage. Mike wanted this child, badly, but while at sea, had, only, been, mostly, concerned about their relationship.

Now, although, he never had seemed to have any emotion over the baby, it was different for him now. He was so emotional, his heart was going stir crazy, gripped by fear, not know why he felt this way. His mind and heart were surrounded with confusion. All he could do is pray for her, so, she doesn’t lose her baby. While waited for any word on her and her baby, he talked to God.

“Dear God, please don’t take this baby away from her. I promise to be a good husband to her, and a good father to her baby. Please, I’m begging you to take care of Anna and her baby, because I’m lost at what to do for hr, because right now, their lives are in the doctor’s hands. I can’t do anything, because I have no control over the situation. Please, don’t allow either Anna’s or her baby’s lives to be taken away from me.”

As the doctor approached him and told him, she and the baby were alright, right away, he thanked God for looking after them for him. He didn’t that being Anna had been convinced, she was losing her baby, and all the fear, this had created within her world, almost, smothered her to death. But she was gripped by all the pain in a world of terror.

So, finally, all that pain was gone, and she was feeling like a fool for giving him all this fear. She didn’t forgive herself, while back home, all the worry and fuss, she had created over thinking, and she had been having a miscarriage, which, only, turned out to be fake labor pains.

For one thing, she, still, was waiting for that time; he’d invited her into his bed. Somehow, she had to do something, like wearing something sexy, to convince him she wished to share his bed with him. But she had to be forward and to let him, know she wanted and needed him. And they haven’t done anything for each other. Ever since, he came back from being at sea. He, still, had to figure how he was going to get her to go to bed with him or ever share the same bed when sleeping.

The two, still, have been sleeping in separate bedrooms. And he didn’t think this would good for their marriage along with having a lack of communication between them. Neither would tell each other, their feelings most of them. She tended to display her feelings through crying, or she would bottle them up inside her upon going to her bedroom. And he tended to display his feelings through kissing and/or talking out in anger towards her.

Upon catching her in her bedroom, he admitted to her, he was going to have to go away, again. Also, he admitted, he would be around when the baby was born. While being out at sea, he’d have to wait it out to see the baby, because there’s no way, he could be, there, for hr to help her with her labor. So, she was going to have to have a friend of hers, be her partner in helping out as a coach.

Brent was gone from her life, and she used to love him. But being she’s married to Mike, for months, the love, she, once, had for Brent, was, finally, gone with the wind. So, she loved Mike and wouldn’t allow her feelings for Brent to interfere with their marriage. Although, Brent used to be so special to her, and, always, would because she couldn’t help thinking about him in her dreams. And this love, she, once, had for him, could be what’s stopping her from going to bed with Mike and sharing his bed, especially, in making love.

Jus because she’s afraid that her dad would suspect him, sharing a bed with her, and sleeping together, she went forward and asked Mike to sleep with her, that night, while they were over at her dad’s house, which took a few hours to get, there, for her and Mike. That night, he followed her to bed. But he jus lay, there, that night, waiting for her to make the first move over at her dad’s house, that night.

He, still, knew a part of her, still, loved Brent in a way, although he was dead and out of her life for good. But now in being in bed with her, he found it, really, hard to touch her, because something seemed to be holding him back, probably, because she has fallen asleep. Another thing was he had waited too long to lay down in bed with her. He, actually, feared her, bringing her body close to him, or bringing his body close to her.

He had entered the Navy right after graduation to get out a life of crime. He had been in the Navy and has worked himself up to a Navy chief.

He wished to hate Brent, for taking a part of her love. So, he couldn’t get her in bed because of this situation. Mike hated Brent for having taken her love for him to his grave. Also, Mike knew, he, Brent, who used to be her fiancé, had a part of her heart. He thought he should leave her, because he thought, she, still, loved Brent, but couldn’t do this to her, because she’s carrying his baby. He didn’t want to share with Brent, who’s dead, although, she loved him and expressed all her love to Mike. He though it had been wrong for him, to marry her jus because she, probably, loved Brent and Mike knew this was why she wouldn’t make love with him.

He needed her so much; it created a lot of fear inside him, because of being afraid of hurting the baby. So, he withdrew from her embrace and was afraid that touching her and keeping on kissing her, would get her into making love, only, after the baby was born. He’d promised her that he would love her, the way; a husband is bound to do for his wife after the baby’s born. He wanted to make love, but he was afraid, it’ll hurt the baby in some way.

So, he vowed to keep his distance from her. But that night, he slipped under the covers with her. He, only, though, has three more weeks until he leaves, again, out to sea, again, and intended to keep all physical attraction under control until he left to be out at sea, again, as a sailor.

In about a week, he would head out to sea. But even though, she allowed him to kiss and touch her, when were they to get into making love. What they did, physically and had for each other, emotionally, didn’t matter to him, because what good did it do for them to be married, when he had to keep taking off to sea.

She moved into his bedroom. But not, once, have they slept in that bed, together. She fell asleep so early that it didn’t do any good for her to wait up for him to make love o her, because she seemed to fall asleep before he was ready to lie down. Or he jus would hesitate and not go to bed with her, until she fell asleep on him.

They hadn’t as much cuddled up with each other, because he seemed afraid or jus didn’t know the right time to cuddle. Or he figured she didn’t want to be cuddled when she was asleep. Though, he tried his best to stick to his commitment to be a husband to her.

When they arrived over his friend’s house, to play cards, one night, his friends surprised her with a baby shower. Though, she became self-conscious at being the center of attention. But se received plenty of gifts that night for the baby.

Once home, with something sexy, she changed into, she tried to talk him into going to bed with her. Thought, it was like some thick fog around them, which he couldn’t seem to penetrate, because this seemed too unreal to him. To him, she was too innocent to go to bed with him. He jus didn’t know how he should react to her either. As she sat in his lap, she, gingerly, kissed and touched him all over.

But he didn’t want to make love, because he’d be missing all this when he was gone to sea, again. Because every time, he had to leave for the sea, he would keep wondering if he would ever see her, again. And if one time, it happened, that she fled away from him, there would be less pain in not missing her loving, if he never gave into her.

So, it seemed, every time, she tried to seduce him, he thought, the best way to react was to push her away from him, before he got to fell for her seducing and gave into his attraction to her. After all, he felt a responsibility to protect her child. So, he thought that making love, would harm the baby inside her, although, in pushing away from her, was causing him, all this pain inside his heart.

But she jus went into tears, each time, and got the idea, finally, she was too ugly of a woman for him to love and to make love to. But after all, he was going to after the baby was born. But she need and wanted his love, because of her deep attraction to him, and because she loved him a lot.

But all her crying was causing pain in his heart like a knife, was slicing through his heart. He couldn’t get her to understand, that making love when she was pregnant, could hurt her unborn child. He developed a hate for himself if he did. But he broke his promise, he has made to himself to have a commitment to her to be her husband and act like one.

Now, as he approached her in her bedroom, he started getting ready to make love. Even though, she didn’t want him touching her. Though, he was desperate for her love. It was like he was ready to get into an invasion concerning her love and his love. So, finally, she gave into his touch, because they both were on fire and heated up inside by now.

So, he, gently, made love to her for the first time, since, they’ve been married. He was experiencing all love and emotion for their child as he lay beside her. Her head cuddled onto his chest like it was a comforting pillow for her, as they were finished, making love.

He was thinking of all the regret, he would feel when the baby was born, because he’s going to be out at sea, then. All the panic of losing Anna when her baby was born brought all their fear and pain through him and made him, shake like a leaf. The baby was going to be born in the next two months, and he’d not be, there, to experience all the joy, that came with seeing his wife, having her baby.

She was a week from having her baby. But her friend, Lisa, promised to be her coach when she went into labor. Mike was out at sea, and has received two grams, that Anna and her unborn baby are doing great.

And the CO Jus delivered him, a message, that Anna’s baby has jus been born at ten pounds, a baby boy. He was so full of emotion, that he didn’t know how to handle all this, going into tears and so full of love, he couldn’t express any other way.

Anna’s friend thought that Anna was having the new mother blues as she was in tears over at a hospital room, enough tears to fill a bucket. She was sobbing over a card and flowers, Mike had sent her, with a message of, “I love you.” But it made her angry, because he never had the heart to tell her in words, that he loves her. The only time they made love was on the night of her baby shower. Mike had worried about leaving her, alone, before he left for the sea. But she didn’t like how he hadn’t made any effort to make love to her before he left for the sea, again.

Now, after his cruise at sea, Anna was holding her baby at five weeks old, waiting for Mike to catch her gaze as he arrived at the pier in a submarine at a wharf in the USS Pacific. As he approached her, her eyes were filled with tears of happiness. As he, then, held their son, he shouted out to her that he loved her. He was dumbfounded by her beauty. She had her figure back and he eyed her slim curves as he caught her gaze upon walking up beside her and her baby. Warmth filled his heart, as he took the baby into his arms in awe, because he never held a baby before in his life.

The need to be with her and the baby seemed to be overpowering his world and so overwhelming. Knew she wanted to make love. But he wanted to wait a few months until he was sure she was healed. So, she stormed out of the bedroom, slamming the doors behind her. She thought she was so attracted to him. So, then, she moved into the other bedroom. They, then, decided they would stay married and after a fight they had, and have three children.