Essay-Belief in the Afterlife by Chery V.

BELIEF IN THE AFTERLIFE
This is one night, I’ll never forget in my life on which I believed that I had died.
That night, I got hit by a car, I felt had been a setup, an earth’s lie
That night, the dark was so fierce and terrible to me.
That I, actually, felt all the anguish inside me, bleed.
My body became encased in total numbness.
Which it caused me to feel was far from any bliss?
Was so mad at that guy who hit me
That from earth, all I wanted to do was flee.
The fear that overcame me of possibly being paralyzed for life
Didn’t do anything to help any of the strife,
I was suffering from, that night; all that fear inside me, only,
Served its purpose in making things worse for me down to the bare bone
In the vague sense, my body, still, was on earth,
When I hit that pavement, my body, badly, was longing for a rebirth
At some time, that night, but don’t, actually, remember
When it occurred that I, believed I had died in total remorse
Only, to come back to a harsh life, burdened with amnesia
Which seemed to overcome me while my whole being was incased in grief?
Created by all that fear which made me wish
At the time of the accident, that I had been squished
To pieces so, I wouldn’t have to endure any of the suffering
My body was going through, while my body was feeling stuffed
Like I had been some deer killed out in the barren woods
Though, being that my body, badly, was stuck in the woods
Of fear, this fear seemed so grave to my being, that night
That, sometime, that night while having a deep longing for a new life
Actually, believed, that while in the hospital, my whole being was renewed
So, that later on, my whole inner being while then, having been stewed
Would, somehow, be able to get through all that pain
Both physical and mental along with all that disdain
Which has, in a sense, taken over my life?
And when later on, married, the hallucinations, made me want to die
Jus because it wanted to have a chance to consume my marriage
Which, really, ended up becoming true because to begin with, I had no marriage?
Left about half way through it which made it, impossible
For me to get pregnant, and carry any baby to term causing a great loss
Which in turn, took away from me, all sense of being a full woman?
Therefore, in the end, I ended up losing my womb
To this disease which in the end, caused such great pain
Inside, taking over my whole body, engulfing it in so much pain
That it took two operations to remove this disease
Which had caused cyst on both of my ovaries?
In the end, after all of my female parts had been removed
This, only, added to the feeling
Inside of me, that all this time, inside had been bleeding
For months which turned into endless years
And all this pain which this consuming disease fear
Jus engulfed my whole being with all this time
Coupled by feeling like a woman, having been cast in slime
On top of feeling like nothing in life was worth living
Really, became the topic of consummation of being
When I had to end my shaky marriage in divorce
Jus because my man did all these things behind my back, so coerced
After my divorce, I started feeling like I became a new woman on earth
Jus because I was able to put this horrible marriage behind me for a rebirth
Which turned out, later on, to be one of the times in my life?
When I, really, started believing in an afterlife
And this belief had been supported through have had this one dream
In which I knew some actor/singer from another life
And since, then, this dream seemed to become part of my reality
It supported, partly, my strong theory which included no fantasy