POEM-BLINDED BY THE LIGHT BY CHERYL V.

BLINDED BY THE LIGHT

BEFORE IN LIFE, WHEN I FOUND MYSELF
LYING DOWN ON THE PAVEMENT WITH MY BRAIN ON A SHELF
ALL I COULD THINK OF AT THAT TIME
IS HOW I COULD BECOME PARALYZED FOR LIFE
BEING I HAD JUST GOTTEN HIT HEAD ON BY A CAR
AND VERY CLOSE TO ME BUT YET VERY FAR
ALTHOUGH I DIDN’T REALIZE FULLY AT THAT TIME
THAT MY BODY WAS TRYING TO FLY
AWAY FROM ME IN FEELING NOTHING BUT NUMBNESS
THROUGHOUT MY WHOLE BODY ENCASED ME IN WEARINESS
JUS BECAUSE I HAD BEEN TRYING TO BLOCK ALL PAIN
OUT OF MIND AND BODY IN ONE WAY
MY BODY FELT LIKE IT WAS DYING
BUT WAS STRUGGLING TO LIVE IN REALITY
DIDN’T IN THE LEAST HAVE A STRONG WILL
TO LIVE BECAUSE IT WOULD HAVE GIVEN ME, THE CHILLS
BUT WASN’T POSSIBLE TO HAVE ANY WILL INSIDE ME
AT THE TIME TO LIVE BEING I WAS IN A COMA
MY BODY BEING OUT OF IT, AND FEELING AWAY FROM HOME
VERY FAR AWAY AT THAT TIME
AND THEN AT THE SAME TIME
WANTED TO JUS LAY THERE AND DIE
JUS BECAUSE I WAS FULL OF FEAR AT THE TIME
OF THE CAR ACCIDENT BECAUSE I WAS SO SCARED
OF WHAT CONDITION WAS SO TURN SO HAIRY
FOR ME TO BE IN BOTH PHYSICALLY AND MENTALLY
THERE’S NO DOUBT, THIS ACCIDENT AFFECTED ME MENTALLY
BECAUSE MY INNER BEING WAS FULL OF TERROR
THAT IN BEING HIT BY A CAR, TORE
ME APART IN EVERY WHICH WAY
WHAT TURNED OUT TO BE SO HORRIBLE IN EVERY WAY
WAS THAT AFTER THE CAR ACCIDENT
I STARTED HAVING PANIC ATTACKS FROM THE ACCIDENT
WHICH MADE ME, HALLUCINATE AT TIMES
WHEN ALL THAT FEAR NOW PRESENT IN MY LIFE
KEPT PLACING ME IN A FEARFUL CONDITION
IN WHICH I COULDN’T USE MY AMMUNITION
TO PUT UP ANY FIGHT AGAINST HALLUCINATIONS
WHICH CAME ON BECAUSE OF THE CONDITION
MY BODY AND MIND WAS CAUGHT IN
NEITHER MY BODY NOR MIND COULD TELL INSIDE
WHICH WAY MY LIFE WAS GOING TO GO
BECAUSE ALL THAT FEAR MADE MY MIND SLOW
INTO BEING ABLE TO PUT UP ANY DEFENSE
AGAINST ANY HALLUCINATIONS WHICH WERE SO INTENSE
THAT EVERY ONE AFTER THE ACCIDENT CAUSED ALL THAT SUSPENSE
INSIDE MY MIND AND BODY, THAT IT TOOK MANY TIMES
FOR MY MIND TO BE ABLE, AGAIN, TO CONTROL ALL PANIC
I KEPT GOING THROUGH FROM BEING CAUGHT
IN SO MUCH TERROR AND FEAR WHICH MADE ME SO DISTRAUGHT
THAT IT TOOK MUCH TIME TO GET OVER
ALL THAT PANIC, I KEPT BEING OVERCOME BY
IN ORDER TO GET MY MIND INTO A FIGHT
IT TOOK MUCH WILL AND PATIENCE AND GOOD MIND SIGHT